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100 things we learned from forever knight...


Vampires can eat fries. with LOTS of ketchup.

The Nightcrawler's.....waiting for you....

Everyone only ever works nights.

"I've SEEN things you people wouldn't believe...."

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4: When a man has a gun to your girlfriend's forehead it's good to keep taunting him.

5: Janette and Nick both have really selective memories.

6: The Enforcers have a problem with anyone who has a video or other empirical data proving the existance of vampires but a coroner who has notebooks full of medical documentation of the existence of a vampire is safe to walk the streets of Toronto at night.

7: Lacroix runs a more entertaining night club than Janette.

8: Although he has successfully turned both a Leper and Natalie's brother he still kills her when he tries to turn her.

9: Myra keeps an art magazine in the john.


http://hubpages.com/hub/VampAnonTheRewrite

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Good television does exist in Canada.

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10. Nick is just as French as Janette, but he has absolutely no trace of an accent, and never did.

11. Tracy Vetter just may be the dumbest cop in TV history. At least Barney Fife had a sense of humor.

12. Captain Reese seems to be a micro-manager. Does he really need to show up at crime scenes? Shouldn't he be busy running the dept?

13. Luckily Nick only had to testify in court once.

14. Natalie seemed very understanding that Nick had absolutely no interest in her sexually.

15. No one in Toronto ever noticed the occasional vampire flying overhead.

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16. Sometimes all you have to do is bite a person for no more than two seconds to bring him/her across and at other times you have to let him/her drink from your slit wrist to bring him/her across.

17. Half the time when you take flight near downtown Toronto you have to do this cool 360 to 540 degree spin before traveling to your destination (especially if the skyline is in your point of view).

18. Almost all the bad guys hide out in the same abandoned warehouse.

19. A ray of yellow light will always find your eyes when you "vamp" out (season one only).

20. A fully human blood fed three day old vampire will always win a contest of strength against a cow blood fed 800 year old vampire.

21. Your partner will never think twice about your ability to "run on foot" to the same crime scene, destination, etc. that he drives to in your Caddie.

22. Vampires who are 1900 years old can regenerate after being burned to vapor in about seven to nine months. (fan favorite)

23. You will always find front door parking at a popular night club.

24. Even though most mortal adults can barely recall correctly events that happened in their life ten or twenty years ago, vampires have absolutely no problem remembering events in their lives that happened over 400 years ago correctly down to the smallest detail.

25. You will always turn on the car radio at the right time when your talk show DJ vampire master wants to speak to you philosophically about things that are currently happening in your life.

26. People who come across an old photograph of you will instantly think that you are immortal until persuaded otherwise with some convoluted explanation for the photograph because a simple "I had it taken at the amusement park" is not enough to rebuke an impossible myth.

27. You worry about your partner seeing you spend ten years of salary on an auction for an antique but don't worry about the half dozen or so priceless artifacts that you have on display where you live.



"All These Moments Will Be Lost in Time. Like.....Tears in Rain."

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Good ones rsanders. Here are some more from my choice list.

28: Even though your partner knows vampires exist it's a bad idea to let her know you're one as well.

29: It's perfectly natural for a cop to forget his birthday because of "New Years Day".

30: For the love of god, find somewhere else to store your cow's blood so people don't keep finding it in your refridgerator.

31: Everyone finds the bottles of cow's blood but no one finds the large barrels Nick has to buy to refill them with.

32: Partners are just like puppies apparently. If one dies you can be consoled with the fact that you'll get a new one.

33: Lacroix risks his own life on numerous occasions to keep Nick safe and occasionally give in to his requests, he is selfish and cruel. Whereas Nick is well within his rights to threaten people with his "game face" and hypnotize law enforcement officials to get what he wants because he is the "good guy".

***For tarot readings and artwork check out http://www.cafepress.com/thestreetreader

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34. Nick's partners never find it odd that he always suggests they "split up" before going in to arrest someone.

35. Nick never considers that the Enforcers might kill him if he became human again because he would then know about vampires.

36. Every so often in history Lacroix would bleach his hair blond. (see season 1 flashbacks)

37. Nick goes through periodic mullet phases in his history.

38. Nick seems to have a bit of a madonna-whore complex. He won't touch Natalie because he doesn't want to sully her, but he can go to Janette for the occasional booty call.

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39: There's nothing odd about a cop who passes out in a Church, so by all means don't call an ambulance or anything.

40: Natalie has concrete bloodwork related data to prove that Nick is a vampire but the doctors at a Toronto city hospital remain oblivious to the fact because he has amnesia. (Don't give me a line about Lacroix erasing everyone's memory. Nick was in the hospital for a sizeable chunk of time before Lacroix showed up.)

41: Kiss your new captain's ass as thoroughly as possible but then piss and moan when she expects you to show up for your shifts on time and schedules you for an extra shift to make up for the time you missed.

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Chapter One of A Vampire Novel
http://hubpages.com/hub/VampAnonTheRewrite

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#30 was good.

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Thank you. *takes a bow*

* * *
Chapter One of A Vampire Novel
http://hubpages.com/hub/VampAnonTheRewrite

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61: Lacroix will get photographed (perfect lighting and clear), from a couple of feet away and practically pose for the camera ,in which the photographer will take rapid fast photos with the old camera plates, plus the photographer will get away from the scene of the attack.

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**RENUMBERED TO TAKE IN ACCOUNT ALL ENTRIES IN THREAD**

91. The Betty Ford Clinic doesn't take vampires (at least not in 1992).

92. As tough as they are, and even though bullets have no effect on them, vampires still need to use a portable radio to break the glass of a display case.

93. When your "sister" vampire, who was your "wife" for a century, regains her humanity, you can save her by making her your "daughter."

94. Nick's loft changes locations and buildings from time to time but the interior stays the same except for one thing. The windows in the living room face east in the morning and west for the rest of the day, especially at night.

95. Although Nick's loft is approximately 80 feet by 40 feet by 25 feet and is in a building that is several hundred feet from the end of one wing to the other and six stories high, the entire first floor is one big garage and he can drive in and go up to his loft in the same amount of time no matter where he parks.



"All These Moments Will Be Lost in Time. Like.....Tears in the Rain."

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Vampires will often rip doors off there hinges to get away from the sun

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31. You can be recruited as a cop, go through all the training and make detective doing this all on the night shift.
32. There is an audience for Gothic talk radio shows.
33. If you fly at night, no one will see you.

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45. If you ever get knocked goofy you might picture all of your co-workers in different roles.

46. After trying out every profession, you'll realize that being a cop in Toronto is the one for you.

47. LaCroix and Janette will like it there too.

48. When Natalie can't remember what happened the night before she'll blame the wine.

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I'm taking the liberty of renumbering to include everything so far.

49. If you're doing research on vampires, medical ethics don't require informed consent. Instead, just tell your research subject that it's "green stuff" so drink up.

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"I've always resisted the notion that knowledge ruined paradise." Prof. Xavier

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50. Some Hollywood producer can take your idea about a comet hitting the Earth and make millions.

51. If Ben Bass' name is in the opening credits of season 3 there's a chance that he could be in the episode.

52. Wrestling in Canada is fake.

53. Hayden Christensen started acting when he was really young.

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[deleted]

30: For the love of god, find somewhere else to store your cow's blood so people don't keep finding it in your refridgerator.
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I was drinking some water as I as reading this one...now it's all over my monitor. Good call.






- C'mon back to my room and I'll give you a Rusty Venture.

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He should drink pig blood since it is more like human blood, just ask Angel...

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18. Almost all the bad guys hide out in the same abandoned warehouse.

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Your #18 is hilarious.





- C'mon back to my room and I'll give you a Rusty Venture.

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I'm american and I love Canadian TV. they had the best shows I watched in the 80's and 90's.

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[deleted]

kills her? Natalie? I haven't watched but the first 14 episodes.

"We sleep safe in our beds because rugged men . . . " George Orwell.

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The final episode can make you cry 14 years later.

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56. You can get shot, have tears in your clothing on front and back from the bullet, and later on tell the eyewitness to your shooting that her expression of concern is unwarranted because you were just "grazed". (For I Have Sinned)

57. Vampire have no need to breath unless it is cold outside.



"All These Moments Will Be Lost in Time. Like.....Tears in the Rain."

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58. Not having a large budget and a series bible can lead to some... interesting inconsistencies.

59. Telling someone that they're your closest friend will lead to your death.

60. Cow's blood tastes terrible.

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These are mine:

1. Evidently it's possible to 'transfer' from the Chicago Police Department to the Toronto PD, across, city, state, and yes, country lines. That's a plot hole the size of a blue whale.
2. Mortals die. Does it really matter where or when?
3. Vampires put the 'fun' in dysfunctional.
4. Don't make decisions relating to immortality when you've been drinking, lest you find yourself living a life of eternal regret.
5. Don't...take...too much.
6. Know thy Master. Eternity is a long long time...
7. Fairy dust: Just a sprinkle.
8. Sunburns are painful.
9. Long white nighties look odd on grown men.
10. Wine bottles don't always contain wine.
11. Cow blood thickens paint.
12. Dogs are for dinner - but only in the worst of times.
13. Don't trust acupuncturists.
14. There's no such thing as too much trunk space.
15. Avoid white rats, they may be spoiled.
16. Leather flight caps aren't sexy on everyone.
17. When things get painful for those you love, it's time to move on.
18. Car crashes are safer when vampires are involved. So are explosions and gunfights.
19. Long term relationships take work.
20. Blood is addictive.
21. When all else fails in the plot, bring on amnesia.
22. Starvation cures vampirism.
23. Nicholas deBrabant Knight's nephew grows up to be Darth Vader. Yikes!
24. Vampires can eat anything with enough ketchup on it.
25. Always forget your own birthday, even though it's on New Year's Day. After all, you are a natural blond.
26. Inquiring minds want to know.
27. Embrace your angst: Brood

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Never let Lacroix near a child because he will turn them into a vampire.

Being married for nearly 100 years will drive you nuts, especially if you are a vampire.

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For some inexplicable reason, the first two seasons are inexpensive on DVD, but the third season is of of print and obscenely expensive. That is what I have learned :-p.

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They overestimated demand and produced more copies than they could sell, particularly for the first season. As I recall, there was some question whether or not season 3 would even be released. Then when they did release it, they manufactured a number of sets more in line with actual demand.
I expect seasons 1 & 2 will go out of print once the existing stock is sold off, just as season 3 has.

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Sigh. Cult fandom is an expensive hobby :p.

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I don't know what number we are on but here's mine:

Apparantley Toronto winters are warm enough to not need winter clothing, especially if you are human.

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I don't know what number we're on so. . .

Here goes mine:

Stake to the heart, fire, the sun and decapitation will all kill a vampire, but getting blown up by a bomb on a jetliner will not.(Javier Vachon, Black Buddha parts 1&2)

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A pipe bomb won't kill them either. ;)

The stories of an underappreciated retail employee.
http://cartjockeyconfessions.wordpress.com

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If they are going to go out of print then they should stop charging copyright violations when people put up videos of the series. If they want their money so much, then keep making and selling the DVD's.

"Do All Things For God's Glory"-1 Corinthians 10:31
I try doing this with my posts

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I'm surprised no one has mentioned this one yet: one of the most important things we learn from FK is that life is a gift, as sweet as a ripe peach.

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My contribution would be that somehow the sun only burns vampires back, not the whole body (we could appreciate this when Nick failed to get to his appartment before dawn and smoke started to pop up his back and only his back...)

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[deleted]

No one has make such a comment because most of them are making senseless comments-stupid jokes, making fun of the things in the series. They do not appreciate it.

"Do All Things For God's Glory"-1 Corinthians 10:31
I try doing this with my posts

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