19. The first suit you pick from an older, fatter, rich jerk's closet will fit you perfectly . . . but only if it is pure white and double-breasted with peak-lapels.
20. If you work really hard . . . you'll earn the right to work harder.
21. If a man is married . . . he's not the man for Jewel Bentley (portrayed by Loryn Locklin).
22. Avocados are fattening.
23. "It's amazing what a little bit of makeup can do. It can make anybody look beautiful."
24. Debbie Lipton (Anne De Salvo) is a people person . . . or so she guesses.
25. Weird couches turn into water fountains when you sit on them.
26. An effective advertising slogan can be inspired by watching a womans' behind as she bends over during a tennis game.
27. A felon is the first man Jewel Bentley has gone out with that hasn't "just tried to jump on" her.
28. "I knew I could be great in bed!" ;-)
29. If the Cubs can win the World Series, anything is possible. [This theorem remains unproven since the release of the film 20 years ago.]
and, my favorite:
30. If you sue for false arrest, you'll probably end up in the electric chair!
Keep it going -- this film is a treasure trove of good-natured silliness. Surely we can get to 100.
31. No on will notice Jimmy's mother missing after Jimmy turns up.
32. Preists drive fancy sports cars.
33. If you want to land a big client, just send Jim Belushi in to insult the product.
34. Potato chips are greasy.
35. If you are a broken 40 years old guy and never studied in your whole freaking life, just don’t worry! Just search for a Japanese billionaire guy in town and impress him somehow. He will easily hire you and all the sudden you will become the new Wolf of Wall Street!
For your information, pal, my maternal uncle with his third grade education did exactly that! He is a multi millionaire and he did it by lying and screwing people.
He is a multi millionaire and he did it by lying and screwing people.
I always say BIG money is CROOKED money
If your monkey is bad, do you spank your monkey?
36. A stolen Rolls Royce will generally go unnoticed and unreported.
37. What is a Filofax???
"It's the system, Lara. People will be different after the Revolution."