I totally agree, the Twiggs would not have given Arlena up to Bob Mayes any more than he was willing to give Kimberly up to them, I think both Mayes and the Twiggs would have related to each other a lot better if Arlena had lived and both sides would have easily come to an agreement on doing the best thing for their girls. Bob would have understood why the Twiggs wanted to be in Kim's life so badly, because he would have felt the same way about Arlena. Bob lost his wife and as much as he loved Kim, I think upon finding out that the baby he and Barbara created together, the baby they waited and prayed for, the one they weren't sure they'd ever have, his and his wife's flesh and blood, was out there with another family, he definitely would have wanted to know that little girl and be in her life. Likewise, the Twiggs would have understood why Mays was so afraid of them and the possibility they might take Kim from him because they would have felt the same way about him. While they would have wanted to know Kimberly, Arlena was their daughter in every way that mattered, they fought to keep her alive for nine years and if Mayes tried to take her, they would have fought for her as hard as he fought for Kim. What it all comes down to is that the Twiggs, particularly Regina, clearly suffered some serious psychological trauma from losing Arlena and seemed to want to replace her with Kimberly, causing them to not see the situation as logically as they may have otherwise.