Things We Learned from 'SWTE'

12. Why take the time to remove batteries from a smoke alarm, when you can break it instead?
13. Make sure to rake up about a thousand clams for dinner, even when its just the two of you.
14. When you own a multimillion dollar house and are a control-freak to boot, be sure to never lock up your house when you are not home.
15. You can magically go from straight, wet, average-amount of hair, in JUST a few minutes, to a huge poof of hair when your neighbor plans a picnic.
16. When you suspect your neighbor friend's nutcase husband is just inside, be sure to bust in and not try to catch him off guard.
17. Saying "F-you" to this same nutcase husband is a respectable substitution for manly fighting.
18. When you have everything a man could want, be sure to be a complete nutcase asswipe and ruin it by abusing your wife.
19. When your wife has faked her death, fled the state, flushed her wedding ring down, hidden her mother, and is happy... of course she has been thinking of 'the last time she touched her husband'.
20. If the towels are not perfectly even, 'everything is not as it should be'.
21....

Great ones BTW, karen526 especially No's 10 and 11. I think No 11 every time I watch that scene. I haven't noticed the light in the cupboard, I just remember seeing a reflection of the streetlight outside. I'll watch it again.




"I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus."
"Didn't he discover America?"
"Penfold, shush."

Husbands threatening to kill wives who leave them is extremely rare; therefore, it is not necessary or even acceptable to pursue protective orders or divorces before just killing the husband with the gun he is conveniently carrying.

Go ahead and stop running after hysterically fleeing hard evidence that your homicidal husband has found you and is in the house; it will all work itself out.

It is always safe to swim in the ocean from a mile out during a sudden rain storm/squall. If you break your dock lights first and then head for the buoy as soon as you hit the water, you'll be fine.

Swimming in the Atlantic off the coast of Cape Cod in your underwear while it's raining will not cause hypothermia.

28. Martin likes Laura's herb bread so much.

29.Its normal to demand what is for supper when breakfast is barely over.

30. Martin apparently likes square things in his bathroom.

31. He also likes crooked backed-style couches.

32. You must dress up for dinner, even when its only the two of you.

33. If you want to work full time, you don't 'love your house as much'.

34. One party attendance is enough for the whole season.

35. When returning from a party and hunger sets in, always eat strawberries.

36. You can knead bread and keep a neat-freak's house spotless and still have perfect ultra-long nails.

37. When visiting your mother while disguised as a man, be sure not to CUT these nails or try to hide them at all.


"I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus."
"Didn't he discover America?"
"Penfold, shush."

"A wig and a fake mustache will always be enough to disguise yourself so much that even your own husband won't notice you."
I can see that working. I used to always be fooled when Clark Kent put on his glasses to disguise himself so that people wouldn't know he was Superman. LOL

81. A neat freak apparently doesn't mind sand and dirt on his shiny shoes and cuffs of his pants, since he trudges through the sand to say good morning to his wife.
82. However, his wife touching him with her damp, sandy fingers might just make him furious.
83. When calling your mother and concerned the call might be traced/line tapped, calling from the center of the very small town you're hiding in (as opposed to the next town at least) is good enough.
84. You can inexplicably fit several outfits into one small traveling shoulder bag.
85. When you reach the town you've escaped to, remove your wig at once.
You're surely safe now!
86. Rental houses in small towns only have rotary style phones.
87. To show you're finally happy, be sure to show as many teeth as you can for as long as you can.
88. You can fully recover from a kick to the crotch in 5 seconds.
89. Your neighbors in small towns will not call the cops when they hear multiple gunshots.
90. When the police arrive, they never ask the victims of crime (or in this case the person who shot & killed someone) for I.D (which she does not have).
91. Martin really likes the color black (black dresses, black suits, black overcoat, black leather sofas, black statues, black dishes, black bowls, black dishtowels in the kitchen, black stockpots...)
92. Iowa has one of the best looking nursing homes anywhere, the staff was kind, the place was clean, Chloe's room looked like a bedroom(!)...even the food looked good!
93. You're in fear from your husband, yet you leave your windows open when you're not at home and wonder how he got in.
94. Psychos rarely blink.
95. They are also able to stand and stare fixedly at a ferris wheel and no one even gives them a second look.







"I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus."
"Didn't he discover America?"
"Penfold, shush."

# 74 -

The whole haircutting scene was so annoying to me. I feel like they should have had her wearing a long blonde or dark brown wig in the beginning of the movie (something NOT her natural color), so that once she escapes, she can cut it and dye it. I just didn't see the point of cutting off the ends of her hair. Not a very good disguise.

122. laura!.......laura!!!



“Can't go wrong with taupe."- Wynn Duffy

[deleted]

125. Iowa's police can have a lousy response time to shooting reports.

126. Country-style dresses can make you look overweight when you're not at all.

127. Never tell your swim teacher your real name, just in case she's dumb as a big bag of rocks.

128. Martin spends money lavishly, but not on bullets.

129. Its always good to be nasty as can be to the neighbor friend that just got you a job.




"I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus."
"Didn't he discover America?"
"Penfold, shush."

LMAO!

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people