This movie got me thinking, that the love these people felt towards one another is extremely rare. People fall in love and fall out of love, but they always remained in love with each other. Has anyone ever felt this love for someone else? That kind of love that you never forget the person and never fall out of love with them even after having met and married someone else and had children?
Another question is, did she always remain in love with him also?
I do believe that you can have the kind of love that haunts you even after you are no longer with the person. It can haunt you even though the both of you have moved on and he had married and had two children with another. It is something that is hard to describe and one can not reason with the way that one feels. I know I should be over that person as it happened so many years ago, but just as I, they were in love...
My favorite part of the movie: "I have always loved you, I am in love with you, and I will love you for the rest of my life." Those words in the final scene of this movie made me cry so hard...because it rang so true. You put that kind of scene together will the french woman's voice and the music...To me, it's one of the best cinematic moments..Definately in my top ten scenes of all time. So, yes I do believe that the kind of love exists that you never forget and never fall out of love with them even after having met and married someone else and had children.
So what do you believe ATTITUDE 070?
I think that she did always remain in love with him...I think she was so in love with him and he her, because the time they shared was just between them and for only them. It was a passion that they never felt again even if they don't have each other...Sometimes memories can be stronger than reality. No, really they have done studies. People just think of erotic things and their brains responds to just thinking of it, as if they were looking at a picture of it...It's true..think about it.
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I believe what you said saveisis... that sometimes memories can be stronger than reality. I believe this type of love exists, however I have never experienced it. I do believe that this type of love is rare though.
sharehello attitude 070! the answer to your question is "YES" she was in love with him. at some point early in our lives, we tend to fall in love ...but we tend to brush it OFF or break-up with this person due to our own immaturity, pressure of society or even arrogance. Then we try to search for something new ...but the truth is that, we try to recreate or capture that 1srt experience and at some point later in our lives, we realize that one of our 1srt love was really the one. Even if just a memory. If we are lucky, we might meet a 2nd person that make us feel new again.
shareSorry to be a little out of tune here, but I think the girl did not deserve his love... i felt a strong sympathy for the chinaman, and i thought the first dinner between the the girl's family and the chinaman was a display of the overbearing selfishness of the family and the hypocrisy of the girl...
I think your first love always kinda lingers, cause its the one you will never forget cause you never felt anything like that before , and in some ways even if we dont realize this or mean to do this, i think we always compare all the loves in our lives to the first one , just cause its impossible to ever feel that kind of love again. Thats not to say that we wont find someone that we will love more then that, cause we def can . it just will never feel all new like that again . ( well thats my opinion, anyway :0)
yes...this kind of love exist...
shareYes I agree. I am horrified by her family's treatment of the chinese man - which they shamelessly compound by taking his food and money. I know this was supposed to occur in a different, racially intolerant era yet it does not make it easier for me to accept. My heart virtually broke for him in those scenes. Its hard to believe she truly cared for him, afterall what does a 15 year old understand of love? I think for her he was a form of escape, an adventure - this rich, sophisticated older man who took her to fine restaurants and an exotic love nest where she could play out her childish fantasies of being a "mistress". With him she could forget briefly the horrors of her deeply dysfunctional poverty sticken family. The way she disrespected him in her family's presence and denied that she could ever have slept with "a chinaman" speaks volumes about her immaturity or the real depth of her feelings for him. He on the other hand obviously worshipped the ground she walked on...though I have my own theories about the basis of his love.
shareThank you for your reply rodolfo. I guess in a way you're right... but everyone is different. It's difficult to generalize, but you basically said it all.
shareI agree that her treatment towards him was completely unacceptable and cruel. However, I still think she did love him very much. Just because she was young and immature it does not make her incapable of loving someone profoundly. While it is true that at such a young age emotions like that are rare it is not impossible. It is a lot to deal with at such a young age and lacking experience she may not have know how to express and reciprocrate her feelings towards him. It could have been a combination of many things dealing with pride,immaturity or even flat out denial. In the end, she may have regretted it so much that she may have cried for those reasons too.
"by - totalchic4ever
Yes I agree. I am horrified by her family's treatment of the chinese man - which they shamelessly compound by taking his food and money. I know this was supposed to occur in a different, racially intolerant era yet it does not make it easier for me to accept. My heart virtually broke for him in those scenes. Its hard to believe she truly cared for him, afterall what does a 15 year old understand of love? I think for her he was a form of escape, an adventure - this rich, sophisticated older man who took her to fine restaurants and an exotic love nest where she could play out her childish fantasies of being a "mistress". With him she could forget briefly the horrors of her deeply dysfunctional poverty sticken family. The way she disrespected him in her family's presence and denied that she could ever have slept with "a chinaman" speaks volumes about her immaturity or the real depth of her feelings for him. He on the other hand obviously worshipped the ground she walked on...though I have my own theories about the basis of his love."
I agree completely with this statement. This girl knew nothing of love. She was simply immature and fascinated/curious with The Chinaman. Her tears at the end were mourning the loss of the alternate little world that she'd escape the dreariness of her life with him. Those were not tears of love--they were tears of loss.
i really believe in this kind of love, so pure , emotions are really strong.
shareIf you are asking this question, then you haven't felt love and passion the way I have felt it. Yes, of course you can love someone and separate from that person, and never stop loving them for who they are and what you shared during your time together. Even after marriage and children and someone you love just as strongly, the love that was never meant to be never dies.
This, I feel, might be part of the reason for the mixed reviews of this film. If you've been in this space, to have loved intensly and lost, then the film makes perfect sense. But if you haven't, it may seem unreal.
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I think everyone's confusing lust with love here. Anyone who has ever been in a long term loving relationship knows that true love consists of way more than just great sex.
"There ain't no reins on this one." Ennis Del Mar
"ivygirl - I think everyone's confusing lust with love here. Anyone who has ever been in a long term loving relationship knows that true love consists of way more than just great sex."
THIS. THIS. THIS. I think The Girl and The Chinaman had more of an intense fascination/curiosity with each other (chemistry/physical attraction/lust) than actual love. People often forget that lust can also be VERY strong and totally encompassing (that's why many confuse it with "love" so often). The mixture of intense lust and the memories of that lust can last a lifetime (I would know, I'm going through it myself--and there was no "love" involved whatsoever...was simply a short spout of complete, utter, physical lust. And I remember/think of THIS person far more than those I actually shared YEARS of LOVE with...) Remember that fascination/lust can live on for many years—-this kind of thing doesn’t just happen with it's "love" counterpart....
This is an old thread but here's my thoughts on their love and its abiding quality ...
Both experience great desire and sexual passion for one another that is not exhausted because their relationship is interrupted by his marriage, firstly, and then her return to France, secondly. So theirs remains a what if love that is one of the strongest of bonds.
So, IMO theirs was not a true love because it was not tested by the drudgery of normal life.
I believed she remained 'in love' with him such that she was thinking of him and writing of their love as an old woman. the feeling of lost love conveyed by the narrated words at the end conveyed this too..
The distance is nothing. The first step is the hardest.share
I think, the younger you are, the more you are capable (or should I say: in danger) of acquiring a feeling of love that lasts eternally. I for myself met a French girl when I was 21 and on holiday. We were together for three weeks. It didn't go anywhere and she has two daughters in their teens now with another man, living in France. I never met her again but I could not forget and I know that I will love this woman not only until I die but in my next life also and in the life that follows after that, until the universe comes to an end. I know how pathetic that is but what can I do. That's the way it is.
I've had several long-term relationships, but only one where I'm pretty convinced that I fell in absolute love... I think it was reciprocated, but anyway, nothing says "love" more than a rich boss who's a skilled charmer and deipnosophist — he hires and then proceeds to have sex with all his female coworkers.
Not much that could be done on my part without breaking multiple laws, so I had to basically watch the one person I thought I would spend the rest of my life with more or less ripped from me—followed by a long 1000 mile drive back home to confront her about it.
So, because the relationship never had time to disintegrate or for me to fall out of love, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm still completely in love with her, and she's most likely moved on... which would be so simple for her.
So yes, I think that's what love does. And I decided if there is a heaven and long after we die, I sincerely hope she's damned and I never see her up there because I don't want to be in pain after I die as well.