Things learned from watching Snake Eater---SPOILERS--:-)

1. It was easy to hide a wire in the 80s, you could put it in your blow waved high hair.
2. You have so much time on a stake out you can build at least three elaborate traps.
3. People will never question why there in a giant net in the fire escape.
4. Police die of masterbation related blindness on stake-outs, please give generously to their cause.
5. When somebody crashes through your table and spills your beer. Just buy a whole pitcher and pour it over them wasting that as well.
6. Hardcore biker bars love dancing to 80s synth music.
7. When going to the aid of someone getting beaten on by 3 rednecks put on your biker colours, and ride an expensive hog off a peer. That'll show em.
8. If a guy is asleep on your bed it is OK to seductively rub oil over your body, he won't wake up. Oh and act shocked as if its his fault if he does.
9. When trapped in a wooden shack thats falling down and full of weapons its best to just stay put and do what your captives say.
10. While being threatened with rape and torture, when given a bucket of water its a good idea to give your horny captives a wet t-shirt show.
11. You can turn a Harley into a Jet Ski overnight.
12. Even after undergoing a river dunking and time in the wild Lorenzo's hair still bounces back to its blow dried best.
13. Innocent people can walk through a forrest full of Solider's booby traps, only bad guys will get snared.
14. The back of the human head is so fragile a soft blow from a swinging guy in a sleeping bag can knock you out.
15. Lorenzo is so bad ass that getting caught in bear trap can not effect his mobility and a bullet to the side does not effect his ability to fight.
16. Hobo's can't tell the difference between urine and coffee, must be Starbucks.
17. Horeshack was an arsonist.
17. I need more Lorenzo Lamas movies in my collection.