Original Ending (SPOILERS!) (LONG!)
Here's the original ending as seen in the screenplay. This starts as they are bing expelled from the volcano:
192 JOE AND PATRICIA - NIGHT 192
rocketing
Against a background of fire and EXPLOSIONS, come
rocketing RIGHT AT us and BY the CAMERA.
193 CHIEF AND HIS PEOPLE - NIGHT 193
They watch Joe and Patricia, out of view, go by overhead.
The Waponis scream and take off down the hill. The Tobi
smiles and stays. He speaks to the Woo.
CHIEF
So. You did not want them.
(to the retreating
natives)
I won't go to that no good
island!
(to himself)
For me, this is the end.
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 5/16/89 104.
194 JOE AND PATRICIA - NIGHT 194
leaving a trail of smoke, land in the ocean.
JOE
What happened?
PATRICIA
It just spit us back out
again. Joe, we're rejects!
JOE
Well, I did it. I did it. I
did my job. I jumped into the
volcano. We jumped into the
volcano.
195 STRETCH OF BEACH WITH BOATS - NIGHT 195
The Waponis grab their ducks under their arms, grab their
boats and launch themselves.
195A OMITTED 195A
196 JOE AND PATRICIA - NIGHT
in the water
PATRICIA
Look!
196A OMITTED 196A
197 JOE AND PATRICIA'S POV - NIGHT 196A
We see the Waponis fleeing the exploding island, heading
for the lousy island.
198 EXT. VOLCANO - NIGHT 198
The VOLCANO EXPLODING completely. The whole island is on
fire and breaking apart.
199 JOE AND PATRICIA 199
watch while paddling.
200 EXT. ISLAND OF WAPONI WOO - NIGHT 200
The island is sinking. The Waponis are fleeing.
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 4/14/89 104A.
201 JOE. AND PATRICIA 201
looking at this amazing sight.
JOE
So the Waponis were right.
(CONTINUED)
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 4/14/89 105.
201 CONTINUED: 201
PATRICIA
What do you mean?
JOE
They said if there wasn't a
sacrifice, their island would
sink. And it did.
Joe and Patricia exchange looks. Then Patricia looks
past Joe, seeing something.
PATRICIA
Oh my God, look! Look!
Joe looks where she's looking.
202 EXT. YACHT - NIGHT 202
A yacht just like the one they were on. This yacht has
friendly eye of another color.
203 JOE AND PATRICIA 203
in the water.
JOE
A boat!
PATRICIA
It's The Tweedle Dum!
(shouts)
Ahoy! Ahoy!
(to Joe)
Come on!
They start to swim.
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 5/16/89 105A.
204 EXT. THE TWEEDLE DUM - NIGHT 204
Picking up Joe and Patricia. Patricia's crew is on
board, that is Dagmar and the boat boys.
PATRICIA
It's my crew! They're alive!
DAGMAR
We were saved.
PATRICIA
That's wonderful! That's
amazing!
DAGMAR
We were very lucky.
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 4/14/89 106.
205 EXT. STERN OF THE TWEEDLE DUM - NIGHT 205
Graynamore is watching the island sink through a
telescope. Meanwhile, two boat boys wrap Patricia and
Joe in blankets. Graynamore, oddly calm and detached,
given the circumstances, looks away from the eyepiece of
the telescope. He says to no one in particular.
GRAYNAMORE
There goes my dream of beating
the *beep* out of the
competition.
PATRICIA
Daddy?
Graynamore ignores her. During this scene the island is
slowly sinking in the b.g.
GRAYNAMORE
You kept your bargain, Mr.
Banks. To the letter. The
miracle of course is that you
kept the bargain and you're
alive.
JOE
So what? My number's about up
one way or the other.
GRAYNAMORE
Yes.
He's a trifle uneasy.
PATRICIA
Daddy?
GRAYNAMORE
I thought you were dead, young
lady. I thought you drowned.
Both of you for that matter.
I just got here to see what
kind of alternate deal I could
cut with the Chief. But the
Chief, I'm afraid, is history.
PATRICIA
You don't show any sign of
being glad I'm alive.
GRAYNAMORE
Oh, I'm glad. I'm just
disappointed about losing
these mineral rights. It
meant a lot to me. It was a
real opportunity.
PATRICIA
You are so... full of holes.
(CONTINUED)
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 6/2/89 107.
205 CONTINUED: 205
Graynamore looks at her, a little irritated and puzzled.
But then his attention shifts to Joe.
GRAYNAMORE
This is a small boat, Mr.
Banks. Too small to keep a big
secret all the way back to
L.A. Come out, Kenneth!
Kenneth emerges from the shadows where he's been
skulking. It's Dr. Ellison; the doctor who told Joe he
was going to die. He's got a drink and he looks nervous.
JOE
Dr. Ellison.
KENNETH
Or words to that effect.
GRAYNAMORE
His name is Kenneth Hindmick.
Business Affairs. He works
for me.
KENNETH
Hi. Need your taxes done?
JOE
Kenneth Hindmick.
KENNETH
Need any terrible job done?
I'm your man.
JOE
Not Dr. Ellison.
KENNETH
Kenneth Hindmick. I'm not a
bad guy, really. I just have
an unfortunate tendency to do
what I'm told.
Joe nods numbly.
PATRICIA
Joe?
JOE
His name is Kenneth Hindmick.
GRAYNAMORE
And he made believe he was a
Dr. Ellison.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 6/2/89 108.
205 CONTINUED: (1A) 205
GRAYNAMORE (CONT'D)
And he told Joe here that he
had something called a brain
cloud, and that he was going
to die. So that Joe here would
agree to jump in the volcano.
PATRICIA
Oh! That's dastardly. You're
both dastards.
Joe, still focused on Hindmick, pushes her aside.
JOE
I don't have a brain cloud?
KENNETH
No, you don't have anything.
You're just a hypochondriac.
Sorry. Or, looking on the
bright side, congratulations!
Joe takes a step for Kenneth.
Kenneth takes out a gun and points it shakily at Joe.
JOE
You know, I'm gonna beat you
up!
KENNETH
Hold it! Don't make me kill
you when there's nothing wrong
with you! I feel bad enough
already. I told you he'd be
mad.
GRAYNAMORE
So we'll just take turns
watching him till we get back
to L.A. Nobody'll believe his
story anyway.
PATRICIA
I will. I'll back him up.
GRAYNAMORE
Now, Patricia, when we get
back, I'm going to give this
boat to you, and you can sail
off into the distance with it
and be done with us all.
PATRICIA
No deal.
(CONTINUED)
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 6/2/89 108A.
205 CONTINUED: (1B) 205
GRAYNAMORE
(talking to Kenneth)
So we'll take turns watching
the two of them till we get
back to L.A., and then we'll
turn them both loose, and I'll
keep the boat.
(CONTINUED)
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 5/16/89 109.
205 CONTINUED: (2) 205
PATRICIA
That's fine with me.
JOE
You've forgotten one thing.
GRAYNAMORE
Oh, I have? Nothing comes
readily to mind.
Joe is still facing Kenneth.
JOE
I've looked into the volcano,
Mr. Graynamore. You know what
I mean? After that, the hole
in the front of a gun doesn't
scare me at all.
KENNETH
Stay back.
JOE
I'm gonna take the gun away
from you, Kenneth.
KENNETH
Do you think I won't shoot?
JOE
I don't know. That's your
part. I can't make you shoot
me and I can't stop you. I
can only do my part. I'm
going to take the gun away
from you.
Joe, after slowly approaching, swiftly takes the gun away
from Kenneth.
KENNETH
Just as well.
GRAYNAMORE
If I'd had the gun, you'd be
dead now.
JOE
We'll never know. Patricia,
tell Dad the happy news.
PATRICIA
We got married. The Chief
married us.
(CONTINUED)
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 5/16/89 109A.
205 CONTINUED: (3) 205
JOE
And I was wondering where you
thought we should go on, you
know, a honeymoon?
GRAYNAMORE
I have no idea
(CONTINUED)
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 4/14/89 110.
205 CONTINUED: (4) 205
JOE
I thought we might like to go
on a sailing trip. How's that
sound?
Graynamore doesn't answer.
PATRICIA
I think that sounds great!
JOE
Does this thing have like a
rubber raft or something?
PATRICIA
It has a dinghy.
JOE
Let's break it out. I think
your father's tired of this
ostentatious life style.
206 EXT. SIDE THE TWEEDLE DUM - NIGHT 206
As Graynamore and company are just finished getting into
a dinghy. Joe and Patricia stand on the deck, Joe still
pointing the gun. Patricia's crew stands by.
KENNETH
What if there's a storm?
JOE
Then you'll drown.
GRAYNAMORE
You'll pay for this. I'll see
to that!
JOE
You know what I think, Mr.
Graynamore?
(CONTINUED)
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 5/16/89 111.
206 CONTINUED: 206
GRAYNAMORE
What?
JOE
I think that you don't scare
me at all. Maybe you can do
some stuff to me - if you make
it back home. If I come back.
And maybe you can't. It
remains to be seen. But what
I think, and I say this to you
from the bottom of my heart,
sir. I don't fear you at all.
I don't fear any man. Because
every day is a gift, and I'm
just glad as hell it looks
like I may have a few. And
beyond that, to be scared or
glad of anything beyond that,
why a man's just got to be a
fool!
Joe laughs a laugh, wild and free, a laugh unweighted by
fear, a laugh of pure joy. Patricia goes below. Only
here does the island finally go under completely.
207 EXT. THE TWEEDLE DUM - NIGHT 207
starts up. And pulls away from the dinghy. Joe is still
laughing and waving, one hand on the wheel. Patricia
comes up from below. He puts his arm around her.
207A EXT. DINGHY - GRAYNAMORE AND KENNETH - NIGHT 207A
Graynamore is thoughtful. He starts to smile.
GRAYNAMORE
I like that boy! Good for
her!
KENNETH
Good for her? What about us?
GRAYNAMORE
I like a tight spot. Maybe I
have gotten a little greedy.
(produces a paddle and
hands it to Kenneth)
Start paddling while I re-
assess my values.
(as Kenneth doesn't
start)
Start paddling.
KENNETH
You paddle.
(CONTINUED)
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 6/2/89 112.
207A CONTINUED: 207A
GRAYNAMORE
(lights a pipe)
Alright. Fair enough. We'll
both paddle. 'And all I ask
is a tall ship and a star to
steer her by!' Com'on, let's
put our backs into it.
(stops rowing)
You know, I have a good
feeling about this. Maybe
we're going to become friends.
208 OMITTED 208
KENNETH
I doubt that. You're just too
overbearing.
Graynamore begins to sing "Someone's in the Kitchen with
Dinah" as they paddle out of view.
208A EXT. THE TWEEDLE DUM - NIGHT (COUPLE OF MINUTES LATER) 208A
The dinghy has gone. The boat is passing over the spot
where the island went down. A lot of bubbles and steam
are still coming up. A few empty cans of Jump come up.
PATRICIA
So what's the end of Waponi
Woo.
JOE
Yeah, and the Chief.
PATRICIA
Where are we going?
JOE
Away from the things of man! I
gotta get away from the things
of man for a while.
PATRICIA
Look!
209 FROM JOE'S POV - BUBBLING SURFACE 209
His trunks start rising to the surface, one after the
other. Until three trunks are bobbing on the surface.
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 6/2/89 A112A.
209A BACK TO SCENE 209A
JOE
I'll tell you one thing.
Wherever we're goin'. We're
taking this luggage. Help me
fish it out.
209B JOE'S POV - BUBBLING TO THE SURFACE 209B
The Chief comes up on the last trunk. He is holding his
Tiki teddy bear.
JOE (O.S.)
Chief!
CHIEF
(triumphantly gasping)
Look! Look, Joe Banks, I
still have my soul!
JOE (O.S.)
Me, too. Me, too.
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 5/16/89 112A.
209C BACK TO SCENE 209C
Joe and Patricia smile at each other and help the Chief
up onto the boat. We STAY where we are, LOOKING AT the
horizon OVER the railing of the boat.
MUSIC.
The big, dramatic pas de deux music from the NUTCRACKER
starts to play. A moon, with its volcanic aspect
emphasized, a moon that's simply too big to be real,
starts to rise from the sea. It rises into and up OUT OF
the FRAME while:
THE CREDITS ROLL.
210 EXT. THE TWEEDLE DUM - NIGHT (FEW MINUTES LATER) 210
The moon hangs in the sky off to the right of the boat.
We see, FROM a distance, Joe and Patricia just getting
the last trunk on deck. Then Patricia goes below. The
ENGINE STARTS up. The boat turns and heads straight for
the moon.
MUSIC.
DUSTY SPRINGFIELD, singing "You Don't Have To Say You
Love Me" begins to play.
We watch them grow fainter and fainter, a smaller and
smaller speck in the eye of the Man in the Moon. UP
CLOSE to us, the DOLPHIN sticks his head out of the water
again, makes his NOISE once more, and disappears forever
beneath the gentle waves. One of the craters on the
craterous moon shakes and erupts, puffing out a bunch of
white smoke which forms the words: "The End."
FADE OUT.
THE END