Accurate Description?

So my friend tells me over a few brews that this is a great movie. Here is our conversation (I swear to you this is real):


"Hey have you ever seen that movie with the fake Kevin Kline, Kevin Clean (yes, he actually said this), in it?"

"What, In-and-Out with Tom Selleck?"

"No, but the fake Tom Selleck is in it. So is the fake Sally Fields."

"Who???"

"You know, the one guy with the moustache, he's the cop, and the one Italian version of Sally Fields."

"Who else is in it?"

"Um, Keanu Reeves is in it. He's a hitman, but he's not actually a hitman because he has a partner that is a hitman too." (I don't know either)

"You're making this up aren't you?"

"No, I swear, its a nice little Italian film"

"Oh, it's Italian? It's foreign?"

"Well, they make spaghetti and meatballs in it."

Laughter

"And then they dump the spaghetti on top of Kevin Clean's head so it looks like blood. But its not really blood, its only spaghetti, but it is mistaken for blood"


Can anyone tell me if this is true? Because if it is, then I gotta see this because it sounds like the greatest movie of all time. And it better be all true. It better have Keanu Reeves as a conditional hitmen dumping spaghetti on Kevin "Clean's" head, and in addition to spaghetti, there is the Italian version of Sally Fields, therefore making it a foreign Italian film with an appearance from the fake Tom Selleck. If not, then I don't wanna see it. Thank you. God speed.