I can't believe I took this so seriously when I was 10
This is a really rotten feature. It's shocking to me. You know how you usually have those movies that were so intense for you as a child, and you find it again twenty years down the road, pop it in, and can't even stay with it? That was my experience last night. My wife and I were bored out of our minds. Let's set up a serial dichotomy. I think other people should do this after reuniting with an old movie.
What I Remember/What it Turned Out to Be:
Inspired animation, several notches above network/Darker edges, and that's all; it basically is network quality
Dramatic story arc which became emotional and gut-wrenching/Simple, basic kids storyline which feels rushed, with no surprises
Cute little duckling I had some weird crush for/Oh, hell; I should of had clinical treatment for having a crush on a duck. Also, Webby is annoying as hell.
Witty dialogue/Cut-n-paste one-liners from the network show
Original/Lacks so much originality, makes me wonder why they even pushed this into the theaters
Funny genie dude/Lampy is his name? I forgot because he's both annoying and forgettable.
Violent ending, gooseflesh-inducing denouement/Again, rushed as hell, as well as typical of any Saturday morning adventure, one of those "hey-we-won-and-everything-is-okay-so-we're-going-to-laugh-it-off-roll-credits" finales. Nothing emotional at all, or even tense.
Realistic/Awesome; they have the Odysseus-like ability to dig a quarter of a mile before dusk in order to reveal a massive pyramid which would have made more than the cover of the Smithsonian, and everyone is perfectly fine from the event as though they had a nice, long nap.
That's all I can think of right now. The one thing that rang true was the beautiful score; that could be the main reason I was so wrapped up in ToTLL back in the day. Music has a way with kids.
"Don't TOUCH that. Dangerous, honey."
-Hicks