Madonna almost ruined this movie
No one has hit upon it yet, but Madonna is an awful actress and has a hammy stage presence. That's great if you're a mediocre pop singer whose oversexed music videos help people forget how great your voice isn't, but it's really detrimental to efforts to play a female lead in a movie. She stunk up this movie like she's done all her others (Shanghai Surprise, Who's That Girl, Evita, Suddenly Seeking Susan, to name a few--A League of Their Own is the only exception, but that's only because she had a small role). She is sooooo melodramatic, and it would be awful if she were acting, but if you watch Truth or Dare, which filmed around the same time as this movie, she acts the same way in that too (the banter she has with Beatty in T or D makes you fully understand why he broke up with her-he probably regretted letting her be in his movie, but that's what you do in 1989 when you're shtupping who was then the world's most popular female singer). That leads me to believe that she's that corny in real life too. I won't begrude her songwriting or her musical ability on stage--she has a strong voice and gets 150% out of the skills she has. But let's face it, she's no Julie Andrews, Judy Garland, or Lena Horne. She's especially no Barbara Streisand or Bette Midler. What she has always been is a controversial and opportunistic, kind of like a white Diana Ross mixed with a little Marilyn Manson.
Imagine in Michelle Pfieffer had been Breathless Mahoney instead? Anyway, just had to vent my "Madonna sucks as an actress" beef.