MovieChat Forums > Bird on a Wire (1990) Discussion > Tops my worst film list!

Tops my worst film list!


My apologies if you like this film, everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion.

I am really only putting this list here so I can refer back to it when some one asks for my least favorite films. I put BoaW as the worst, because unlike some of the others listed, I did not expect it to be so bad.

I think two of the WORST things a film can be is really boring or really annoying, and this film manages to be both, thanks to the lead characters.

But what really sinks this film to the depths of rottenness is Mel's disgusting mockery of gay mannerisms halfway through the film. It is only slightly less offensive than if he were performing in blackface. I still remember shuddering in disbelief for the duration of the appalling scene, and nothing he has done since has made me forget it.


1. Bird on a Wire
2. Very Bad Things (Indeed!)
3. Buffalo '66
4. An Alan Smithee Film: Burn, Hollywood, Burn (#62 on IMDb bottom 100)
5. Gummo
6. Boat Trip
7. Mad Dog Time (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116953/)
8. Showgirls
9. The Adventures of Ford Fairlane
10. Chained for Life (1951) (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0043397/)

Dishonorable mention: The Last Days of Disco

reply

[deleted]

All I know is, I saw A LOT of people leaving the theatre when I saw that one (same w/ Buffalo '66), maybe they got a headache like you did with Very Bad Things.

I still stand by BoaW as the worst because of Mel's wincing, lisping, appalingly insensitive mockery of gay people, and he only got worse after that.

You are correct, though, that some of them are so bad they're worth watching. I might replace one of them with The Cat in the Hat or Elf.

Thanks for the feedback!

KAKISTOCRACY (n.) - a society governed by its worst citizens.

reply

[deleted]

Yes, but I have yet to meet someone who disagrees with me on this movie.

KAKISTOCRACY (n.) - a society governed by its worst citizens.

reply

[deleted]

I like to see people act naturally, whether they're extremely effeminate, kinda dull, or a loose cannon. I don't think hgay men should have to hide their mannerisms, nor do I believe should we be paying heterosexual actors to "fake" mannerisms that REAL gay actors already have.

I'm from the Chicago area, by the way.

KAKISTOCRACY (n.) - a society governed by its worst citizens.

reply

Okay, reread the part above that says, "...nor do I believe should we be paying heterosexual actors to "fake" mannerisms that REAL gay actors already have." Now remove the word heterosexual and change the words "REAL gay" to "other" and you now get, "...nor do I believe should we be paying actors to "fake" mannerisms that other actors already have. That's the entire job description of a film actor, to fake mannerisms and pretend to be someone they are not. With film, you don't even really have to memorize the lines, they can give them do you if you screw up. And I think the point of the scene in question was that it was supposed to be over the top and unnatural. The character was a straight man pretending to be gay. Since the character was really straight, it made more sense for him to pretend to be even more exaggerated.

reply

[deleted]

[deleted]

xavrush, I disagree 100% as to your assessment of Mel's "offensive and insensitve" portrayal of an effeminate man. Like you, I too am a homosexual, but I found Mel's interpretation of the "gay" man charming, interesting, and downright sexy!...

Take off your fighting gloves my friend and enjoy good acting when you see it. Just imagine that Mel, as Matthew Carlson, a hair stylist showed up at your local bar. I don't know about you, but you wouldn't have to ask me twice to dance!

reply

I don't know about you, but you wouldn't have to ask me twice to dance!
Yes, and then imagine him giving you that dance and then saying, "Ha, sucker! I ain't no queer!"

Given the words Mel would later use about gay people in a 1992 magazine interview, I wouldn't be surprised.

This is just my opinion, if you enjoyed Mel's performance in gayface, you enjoyed it.

KAKISTOCRACY (n.) - a society governed by its worst citizens.

reply

Yes, I loved Mel's depiction. In fact, I dated a theatre student in college that looked just like him... maybe I didn't get over it.

(I think that you are secretly turned on too!)

Long live Mel in Gay Face, Gay Pants, Gay Shower etc.!!!

reply

(I think that you are secretly turned on too!)
Yes, that must be it. I have a secret desire to have a man sweep me off my feet and read me bible verses as we re-enact the crucifixion and pray for stem cells while hurling buggerers out of windows, à la Braveheart.

KAKISTOCRACY (n.) - a society governed by its worst citizens.

reply

C'mon now... Are you serious about all that stuff???? I didn't make any secret of my attraction to Mel... haven't you seen the butt shot in "lethal weapon?" I rest my case... and as for Braveheart,.... When I say I have a thing for Wallace, I don't mean George.

reply

There are plenty of hot butts out there, so I can't believe you would choose one attached to a religious zealot homophobe. That's all I'm saying.

He may be attractive at first glance, but his views make him unattractive to me.

KAKISTOCRACY (n.) - a society governed by its worst citizens.

reply

Since Mel's views make him unattractive to you, I am only left to assume that opposing views would be "attractive?" So you prefer say... michael moore.

PS the last I heard, catholicism does not a religious zealot make. Of course, there are many cults that include idiots. Perhaps you should look into one.

reply

As a matter of fact, I certainly would rather spend an evening with Michael than Mel.

And it is well-known Mel is not your garden variety Catholic. His sect is at the extreme end.

Who are you anyway? Andrew Sullivan? Jeff Gannon? No wait, John Schlafly! (Phyllis's son.)

KAKISTOCRACY (n.) - a society governed by its worst citizens.

reply

Who am I? Your worst nightmare. A Log Cabin Republican. Yep, Gay and morals... what a combination!

By the way, I had no doubt that you were a Michael Moron.

reply

Please, we don't need infighting. I said I would prefer Micahel over Mel Gibson. I did not say I was a huge fan of his. (I waited for video to see 9/11.)

Was that you on that TRIO documentary on LCR's? That guy was a piece of work. John Schlafly wasn't far off.

reply

You prefer Michael Moore over Mel Gibson. hmmmmm, obviously we are from different planets.

reply

MM doesn't turn me on or anything. I would have picked someone else for comparison, an actor at least. You're the one who first brought him up.

There are plenty of actors out there who have good looks without Gibson's warped views.

KAKISTOCRACY (n.) - a society governed by its worst citizens.

reply

Oh, now we know all we need to know about you david,. I just read the entire exchange and I saw it comin'!

Lemme guess, you hate it when the news shows put drag queens on when they cover gay pride parades, think the character of Jack on Will & Grace is an insult to gays (but the sexless Will is just right), and place personal ads demanding that respondants be "straight-acting." And you thought that Elton John's duet with Eminem at the Grammys made perfefct sense.

I could be wrong, but that's the picture I have in my head.

P.S. Who is John Shafly?

reply

You just listed four scenerios and the first two contrast with the last. Needless to say: You could be wrong.

As for John Schafly, the other writer used him as an example. Perhaps you should read the posts again and take note of who is talking. Do a google search for Phyllis Shafly. When the picture in your head quits rattling around, let me know.

reply

John Schlafly is the son of Phyllis Schlafly, who made a name for herself in the 1970s opposing the Equal Rights Amendment and painting feminists as sinners and heathens. She now runs a crackpot right-wing organization called Eagle Forum, which opposes gay rights among its many positions. John is gay but, for whatever reason, works for her and never says a word against her, à la Mary Cheney.

http://www.boston.com/news/politics/conventions/articles/2004/09/02/at_80_schlafly_is_still_a_conservative_force/


KAKISTOCRACY (n.) - a society governed by its worst citizens.

reply

"Morals" are about the last thing to describe Republican behavior lately.

If Mel's impersonation of a gay hairdresser offends you, what do you think of Robin Williams and Nathan Lane in "The Birdcage"?

reply

PErsonally I do agree that making one of Mel's "alter egos" a camp hairdresser was a bit of a cheap shot just for laughs. I have no problem at all with blokes playin it a bit gay but it was just the whole irrelevance of the scene in relation to the actual movie. And lest face it, it wasn't just Mel. The male hairdressers were all bunny jumpin, high pitched squealin homos.
I don't personally find it offensive and i think half of the reason is because Gibson's actual execution of a camp gay man is appallingly unbelievable. As a mechanic called Billy Ray he fits. I find it very difficult to believe that he lasted so long as a camp hairdresser with a hideous mullet. I dont care if it was the early 90s!

Nathan Lane's performance in The BIrdcage is something wholly different. HIs role, although comedic, is as Dan Futterman's maternal figure. IN as many ways as we can ridicule him, there is sympathy and empathy for the situation where he is sidestepped for Futterman's biological mother when the meal with the senator arrives. Being offended by Gibson's inappropriate and poor portrayal of a stereotypical gay hairdresser is totally different to being offended to The BIrdcage or any other of those mid 90s "Stars in drag" movies like Too WOng FOo or Priscilla. We go to watch those movies knowing the subject matter and prepared for as much ridicule to be heaped on the characters as there is hopefully going to be sensitivity. There are no cheap shots and the directors try to evoke audience empathy so that the characters are genuinly likeable.

The most unsatisfying thing about the birdcage was not the acting or the stereotypes as the leads were all good in their roles. If they played it gay, they playedit believably gay and although the limpwristed were prevalent, there were other gay guys around of all types.
NO, the worst thing was the horrifying message that might have been conveyed to an unsuspecting audience, and is worse than Gibson's portrayal in the totally irrelevant Bird oN A Wire. The message that i wrote about in my dissertation on this film involves the hetereosexualisation of the characters who feel that in order to be accepted by the inlaws/society , they must clear their lives and homes of anything with colour, flamboyancy and energy. ONce that is done we are left with various pale shades of gray and not a lot else but hey, at least the senator will approve of their son.

ANyway..:-p

reply

[deleted]

hillarious. There are so many worse movies out there. Godzilla remake, godzilla originals, 78% of horror movies at least (and I am a fan of horror movies btw). snakes on a plane etc. I agree on bufallo 66 and most of david lynchs crap however you may not like it Mel is one of the kings of the scene and may he remain that way.

reply

I'd say this is Mel Gibson's worst movie, except I'm afraid he's got others just as bad or worse.
I thought The Adventures of Ford Fairlane was kind of good.

reply

WHAT ABOUT OTHER CRAP SUCH AS BATTLEFIELD EARTH,SPHERE,LEONARD PART 6,PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE,GET CARTER,AVENGING ANGELO,FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 5,JASON X,JASON GOES TO HELL,THE DEVIL'S OWN,LAST ACTION HERO,JUNIOR,XXX,THE EXORCIST 2,EXORCIST:THE BEGINNING,ZOOLANDER,I-SPY,BEST DEFENSE,THE RING,CHILD'S PLAY 3,NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PARTS 2,3,5,7,HALLOWEEN 6,ON DEADLY GROUND,HARD TO KILL,HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE,LOST IN SPACE,KARATE KID PARTS 2,AND 4,LOOK WHO'S TALKING TOO,COVER-UP,RED SCORPION,BLUES BROTHERS 2000,BOILING POINT,VANILLA SKY,MISSION IM POSSIBLE PARTS 1 AND 2,ASSASSINS,THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT PARTS 1 AND 2,TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE PART 2,THE SPECIALIST,SPAWN,TIGHTROPE,THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS,MR. MAGOO,RHINESTONE,DEEP BLUE SEA,JAWS THE REVENGE,BATMAN:BEGINS,SPIDER-MAN,HULK,CAPTAIN MERICA,THE SPECIALIST,AND ANYTHING WITH JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME.AND I COULD KEEP GOING ON AND ON FOREVER.

reply

Good list, but this film still ranks (or reeks) below them all because, while most of those films one would expect to be total crap, this one totally tried to pass itself off as a legit film, and everyone involved should have known better than to go ahead with it. It has left much more of a lasting stench lo these fifteen years.

I think Ebert said once (about North) that when a film is that bad, you don't forget it for a long time.

KAKISTOCRACY (n.) - a society governed by its worst citizens.

reply

WHY EBERT HATED THIS ONE TOO?

reply

Ebert gave this movie a negative review (like most critics did), but I doubt he hated it as much as North, which he considers to be one of the worst pictures of the 1990's and the worst of the year it came out. He used the word "hated" in his review about a dozen times in a row. Entertainment Weekly's Owen Gleiberman was the one I remember really hating BOAW.

I was just using Ebert's review of North as an example of how I feel about this movie.

KAKISTOCRACY (n.) - a society governed by its worst citizens.

reply

[deleted]

Great list, However, you're pretty hard on Van Damme and Segal. I have to say, Segal is in some bad ones but I love Out for Justice and Above the Law and Hard to Kill are okay. The only Van Damme movie I can stomach is Kickboxer...although it's as cheesy as it gets.

How about Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, Independence Day, Coffee and Cigarettes, Birdman, 21 Jump Street, Muriel's Wedding, Knocked Up, Masters of Disguise, G Force?...I could go on and on too if I had the time and really thought about it.

reply

Sure, what's a little homophobia and insipidness when you've got handsomeness "mindblowing" kisses.

But as for him being cute, so is Ashton Kutcher. But I'd rather have a barium enema than sit through a movie of his!

And as for Braveheart, with its cartoony "villains" and revisionist action-hero history (not to mention some more homophobia thrown in for good measure), that so maybe it's not so "nothing like" it after all!

But if you like 'em, I know I can't discourage you. Enjoy.


KAKISTOCRACY (n.) - a society governed by its worst citizens.

reply

U DIDN'T LIKE HIM IN LETHAL WEAPON?

reply

I did; he was funny yet sensitive, espescially when he mourned for Patsy Kensit's character in LW2. As for playing gay in Bird On A Wire, that was a form of self mockery surely? He must have been so desparate to escape and hide that the cover of a camp hairdresser would be the last place his nemesis would think to look for. The camping, was mild to say the least and even then, only when pushed for a reaction to the warm welcome by his old workmates. Seeing Goldie Hawn's character looking on amused was charming. When he delivered the money and left, yes, he was back to his 'manly' self, but he wasn't homophobic, just suprising them with his return to self.

Mel might well have a staunch religious zealotry about him, but whatever else he's done since this film, he was more entertaining than offensive in it.

Didn't we burn Donna Summer records when she claimed gays were from suffering AIDS for their sins? - ho hum.

Negative: the T-1000 will definitely try to re-aquire you there

reply

Hmm, interesting thread.
I just saw this rerun (last seen in the movie theater 15 years ago, I guess!).. I actually was amused throughout the whole thing- then and now. It was definitely fluffy, but as I didn't feel it was trying to take itself seriously at all, I wasn't looking for something deep.

I was not offended by the hairdresser scenes, because I also felt that all was portrayed good-naturedly. I am quite offended by Mel's politics and religious zealotry, but did enjoy this silly movie.

Then again, I enjoyed North.

-D

reply

You're right: this is one of the worst movies ever. A movie driven totally by greed and imitation. Full of strained plot points and the easiest, lamest dick and gay jokes. Hollywood at its worst. John Badham can be a good director with a great script, he's horrible without one. And this dreck didn't have one.

reply

WOW! You are gay and that's why you don't like this movie? The gay mannerisms you speak of are about 90 seconds of the movie. And as silly and sometimes pretentious as the movie is, the whole idea was that he had to act gay because of his involvement in the witness protection program. It might be bad comedy, but hardly homophobic.

It is regrettable that your proclivity affects your ability to judge movies. It is people like you who slow the process of understanding among the general population.

Rational people agree that this movie is neither good nor bad (based on its rating), it is just average among the 500 feature movies that came out that year.

You would benefit your agenda by not using such hyperbole as "worst film."

reply

Ninety seconds is a long time to sit through a minstrel act clearly intended as an unwarranted lampooning. Perhaps if Gibson were better at masking his well-documented negative attitude toward homosexuality it wouldn't have come off as mean spirited.

But I will admit one thing: it's not as if it ruined an otherwise great movie!

KAKISTOCRACY (n.) - a society governed by its worst citizens.

reply

I somewhat enjoyed this movie, but then again I only saw the last 30mins of it, and it was dubbed in spanish (i dont speak spanish) and I was a little drunk. But I dont think an action flick with its final action sequence staged in a zoo (or something i dont know what the hell was going on) can really be taken very seriously.

reply

i think we can all agree to the fact that mel gibson is against any race, sex, orientation, or religious belief that he is not.

reply

yeah it would appear that way from his recent antics in the news

reply

Exactly. The OP and many others had Gibson's for years. His fans just didn't want to see the emperor hadn't been wearing clothes for quite some time.
The evidence was always there, not just onscreen but in interviews.

"Well, for once the rich white man is in control!" C. M. Burns

reply

Bird on a wire is an extremely underrated movie.

reply

I know I'm answering this pretty late but I agree with xavrush--this film is incredibly homophobic and unfunny. In a way though I'm glad I saw it. I'm a gay guy and caught this in a theatre in 1990. When that disgusting part with the hairdressers came on the audience laughed. I cringed in my seat and started to feel ashamed...but then I realized I had NOTHING to be ashamed of. I got angry and every since then have spoken up when anyone says something homophobic--before I never said a word. So Gibson actually made this gay guy more vocal and proud!

And to the str8 guy who said we shouldn;t be upset over 90 seconds (it was longer than that) of offensive gay bashing--who the *beep* would u know? You're not gay. Don't tell us what is offensive or not.

BTW--does anyone realize that when Gibson was a hairdresser he must have slept with these guys?????

reply

Excellent, preppy. I'm sure the OP has moved on and doesn't give a shee-ite what these idiots think anyway.

The only thing you had to be ashamed of was having paid to see this in a theater.


Without 'phobes like MG and the way-worse (Sally Kern and local cops spring to mind), the whole Stonewall thing would not have happened, so in a way we have them to thank for the movement. (And if they don't like it, I have another movement for them.)


"Well, for once the rich white man is in control!" C. M. Burns

reply

Thank you Clothes-Off. Those jerks probably don't realize their hatred makes us stronger and more vocal. And MG has proven to the world that he's homophobic AND a racist.

reply

Even without Gibson's cringe-inducing stereotype performance, the film just plain sucks. Paul Schrader once said "An audience would rather be confused than bored," but here I was both - absolutely mystified how such a by-the-numbers, hackneyed, botch-up was green lit, let alone unleashed on an unsuspecting public.
Take into account this was released during the summer of 1990. Those of us old enough to have suffered through it remember with something approaching PTSD the following films: Home Alone, Kindergarten Cop, Pretty Woman (boy, do I hate THAT steaming #2), Days of Thunder, and Ghost. Argh. Rolling Stone's Peter Travers wrote a memorably venomous piece about that unfortunate summer called "Dum Dee Dum Dum", which pretty much says it all. Sorry folks, I'm too lazy to dig it out to quote from it verbatim, but it may be online somewhere - it's worth checking out, and echoed perfectly my opinion of a moviegoers nightmare summer. Oh, dear...

reply

Good quote by Paul Schrader and totally accurate. I think the only reason "Bird..." got made was becuase Gibson and Hawn were attached. I hated "Pretty Woman" also. It made it look like prostitution was fun and the way to get a guy!!!"Days of Thunder" I refused to see because of Cruise. I (sorta) liked "Ghost". I think you're off on "Home Alone" Don't get me wrong it was a LOUSY movie but I don't think they came out that summer. I def. remember seeing it opening night back on Thanksgiving (the kids in the audience were in hysterics over it--the adults sat there dead silent).

reply

Yah,(you're right about Home Alone not being released in the Summer- wouldn't make sense. I'm an idiot!) Home Alone I think was actually the top-grossing film that year. It's not a total wash-out, there's some good jokes("Keep the change, ya filthy animal!:)), but Teen Flick Auteur John Hughes(R.I.P.) went into overdrive with the mawkish sentiment, and Lowest Common Denominator physical comedy (read: violence for laughs). Hughes can do sentimental holiday films with great acumen - check out Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Naturally, we don't celebrate Thanksgiving here in Australia, but the message was universal. And the scene where Steve Martin drops 18 f-bombs on the poor car rental woman is a real classic. That's the way to do Holiday comedy, IMO!:)
I think 1990 was only saved by a handful of smaller budget films like Wild At Heart, Goodfellas, Reversal of Fortune, and I really liked Pacific Heights, too - none of which were released during that notorious Summer of 1990.

reply

I thought "Home Alone" was just horrible. I didn't laugh once. I wanted Maccauley Culkin dead halfway through and thought the comedy was WAY too incredibly violent to be funny. The 4 year olds in the audience loved it though:)
"Planes, Trains and Automobiles" I never saw--mostly cause I can't stand John Candy. All I remember is it got an R rating here solely for language:) Then again so did "The Breakfast Club" Hughes' best movie IMO.

reply

"I wanted Maccauley Culkin dead halfway through and thought the comedy was WAY too incredibly violent to be funny."

That just shows how fcked up you people are and why we shouldn't be taking your oversensitive, irrational, whiny ass opinions seriously.

reply

I think the only reason "Bird..." got made was becuase Gibson and Hawn were attached.
Probably! It made a lot of money, but there doesn't seem much of a story ... just one contrivance after another. Very ordinary IMO!🐭

reply