i didnt get it

Maybe you could watch it again and see if you have a different take on it? I didn't like it much at first, it really grew on me. I think there is a lot of meaning in it, but it's subtle.

In what twisted universe is uploading photos of vampires to my blog "not really vocational"?

IMO:
I think in the simplest terms it's a love story.

A women who conforms to what she believes society thinks she should be is married to a yuppie lawyer who is sleeping with her sister. The leading lady lives a life where she doesn't do what she wants to do but what she thinks she should do, what she believes is expected of her but she is obviously unhappy. She's celibate and sees a shrink on a regular basis. Then a stranger who is her polar opposite comes into town and shakes things up. He lives his life in a way that society would very much frown upon. And though the way they approach the world is very different they are actually quite similar. The most obvious example being their common celibacy. Also, their need to be normal. Gram feels he was too violent and caught up in sex so he gives it up, Ann doesn't want to appear like her sister so she stays away from it, they're both giving up a very human need to appear normal to others and fit in with society but ironically they end up being all the more strange and isolated. When they both stop trying to be what they think they should be (from society's standards) and just give into their desires they find happiness with one another.

So to answer your question, I think the film is trying to say that you should do what makes you happy (within reason), not what you think you should do to be 'normal'. This is illustrated with both Ann and Gram's common misery until they stop trying to be something they're not. And yet, it's not trying to say you should be selfish and just do whatever feels good which is illustrated with Ann's husband and sister. I think they're there to show that if you take it too far and become a completely selfish person you're going to just end up hurting others and yourself.

To clear this up a bit more, society would find Gram a very odd character (probably even more so back in the 90s) and Ann's initial response to his videos was sort of the voice of society: shun him, run away, etc. However she has a revelation when she finds that her husband has been cheating on her and she realizes that being what she thinks she should be wont bring her happiness. And when she throws her predispositions away and just admits that she's arguably in love with Gram she finds happiness. Society would say go with the rich, successful, (thought to be) handsome husband but she desired the unemployed artist with odd hobbies.

Voting History: http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=26598711