Things I learned from this movie

19. Yves Perret and his goons can enter and exit a maximum security prison as they choose, yet their imprisoned mates are stuck there.

20. The oldest cop trick in the book is bad cop...worse cop.

21. Ray Tango and Gabe Cash are both equal 2nd best in the cop rankings for LA, which makes you think... who's the first?

141: It's all the way in.

In all my life, I will never love a woman the way this officer loved that lip ferret.

193) If you live in a walk-up apartment in LA, you can still have your own 1-car private garage with an automatic door opener.

194) When driving your car into said garage, a waiting horde of children will spray you with waterguns.

195) Prisons have ventilation tunnels with huge fans, which also double as storm drains when it rains.

196) In prison, bad guys with abnormally large jaws will prefer a grappling-hook and chain over, say, a shiv.

197) Ray Tango thinks his Captain is proposing marriage to him.

198) Dirty FBI Agents keep plates of uncovered spaghetti in their fridges.

199) ...because they are too busy counting their money to count calories.

200) Perret wants to be known only as someone who doesn't like Tango very much.

201) Perret either thinks his mice are beautiful, Tango and Cash are beautiful, or both.

202) Ray Tango really does miss his wardrobe.

203) Ray Tango wears his glasses when reading, driving and making trick shots with his dinky "Chief's Special" revolver but not during an armed drug raid.

204) The mullet-haired LASO officer thinks the Big City Boy is out of his neighborhood.

205) LASO dept. uniform shoulder flashes also do not identify their actual department and just say "Sheriff".

206) Tango does not know or will not tell Cash his sister's stage name.

207) Gabe Cash will pay cash... to enter a dance club.

208) Ray Tango shows his love for his sister by offering to buy her a savings bond.

209) Bonds have a 7 and a quarter percent yield, which is big money.

210) Cash points out that Ray Tango doesn't even have a plan B for escaping.

211) Ray Tango will shoot a tank trailer that is confirmed be carrying gasoline if he thinks it also carries cocaine.

212) When exotic dancers go on tour they don't want you to call them, they'll call you.

213) Ray Tango is just letting the locals do their thing.

214) That tanker truck is a major moving violation.

215) The Sheriff wants your badge, your weapon and your ass.

216) Ray is able to quote from memory the "big brothers' handbook".

217) When seeing what he presumes is his sister having sex with a dude, Ray Tango will simply stand there and awkwardly listen and watch her instead of, you know, hanging out in the kitchen for ten or twenty minutes until they're done.

218) Lo Pan, sorry, Quan controls the East Side, where Gabriel Cash has cost Perret millions of dollars.

219) Lopez controls the West Side of the city, where Ray Tango has cost him even more.

220) Gabriel Cash is a sassy woman in drag!

221) Gabriel Cash will instantly notice that someone "effed" with his gun, but then quickly forget about it.

222) A billion-dollar drug bust by Ray Tango goes above the fold while a 200 kilo drug bust by Gabriel Cash goes below the fold.

223) Fat guys in prison will choose the top bunk over the easier-to-climb-into lower bunk to sleep in.

224) Psycho inmates will keep newspaper clippings of their crimes taped to their cell walls to show their new cellmates and readily admit to killing their best friends.

225) High-profile trials of corrupt cop-killer LAPD detectives are held so quickly the wounds on the witnesses' faces will still be fresh.

226) Gabriel Cash will grab a slice of anyone's pizza as it's going by.

227) Gabriel Cash wears his bulletproof vest while putting away the groceries.

228) Weapons guy Owen and Gabriel Cash may be family.

229) Poor, lonely Owen just wants someone to say something over the radio.

230) Owen and Gabriel Cash have the same taste in clothing and guns.

231) Ray Tango and the LAPD are out of their jurisdiction.

232) Car bombs can be rigged to explode when you open the door and not when you turn the key in the ignition.

233) There is a lot of pollution in the air tonight named "Perret".

234) Those two cops are driving Perret crazy.

235) Ray Tango is only a cop because he likes good old fashioned American action.

236) A margin call from his broker is more important to Ray Tango than a talk with his sister.

237) Gabriel Cash thinks this is all wrong.

238) It takes Gabriel Cash a half hour to break a case that took Ray Tango 3 months to investigate.

239) If Gabe Cash makes it back and Ray Tango doesn't, Gabe is totally going to date Ray's sister.

240) Neither Tango nor Cash goes in on a major drug raid with either backup, warrants or cocked weapons.

241) LAPD suspects are taken to the police changing room to relieve themselves.

242) The LAPD will mistake a 5'6" woman wearing a motorcycle helmet for a suspect that is male and 5'11".

243) Exotic dancers keep glamour shot posters of themselves above their beds.

244) Duck statues make great weapons.

245) LAPD Captains wear cheap sunglasses over Foster Grants or Ray Ban Aviators.

246) When having sex in the back of a car, teenage girls will remove their shirts and bras but not their headbands.

247) Russian immigrants wear T-shirts that directly reference Glasnost.

248) Pornographic pictures taped to cell walls are not against prison regulations.

249) You can't get electrocuted if you don't touch both wires or the ground. But neither Cash nor Tango are sure about this.

250) Gabriel Cash wonders if Ray Tango is proposing to him.

251) Prison inmates are allowed to wear belts.

252) Drug runners do not buckle up, even though seat belts save lives.

253) There is No Smoking in Ray Tango's office.

254) Ray Tango's underwear is riding up to his throat.

255) When getting a massage Cash will remove his shirt but not his pantyhose.

256) Crazy people play with slinkies and are not afraid of anyone.

257) Slinky beats paper, like scissors. Rock probably still beats slinky.

258) Your sister will continue to mail you her rent checks even if you're in prison and can't cash them.

259) The LA Chronicle thinks today's children have become fixated with fashion and wants its readers to ask not what the critics say.

260) Private security vehicles mount red and blue light bars normally only permitted for police use.

261) When new inmates take a shower, all the shower heads are turned on.

262) Sliding off a high-tension wire into a pine tree at 40 miles an hour will tend to slip a disc or two.

263) Kiki just wants to get away.

264) Ponytails are out this season.

265) Strapping a giant magnifying glass to your forehead makes you a mechanical genius.

266) Luxury offices have mirror mazes hidden behind sliding panels.

267) Despite it no longer being the 60's or 70's, wealthy sophisticate Ray Tango prefers driving an 80's model convertible Cadillac over more prestigious brands like BMW, Mercedes-Benz or Porsche.

268) Gabriel Cash prefers a classic Corvette with the personalised California licence plate "G CASH".

269) Ray Tango has been a cop for 12 years and admits to being guilty of being too aggressive in taking criminals off the streets.

270) Whoever took Cash's Walther PPK needed to adjust the sights to shoot the federal agent at presumably point blank range, but neglected to adjust them back.

271) The cover for a club where the girls do not even dance in the nude is $5.

272) Ray Tango is divorced and going steady with an alimony cheque.

273) Lopez doesn't understand why they don't just kill them.

274) Back in '89, "Quicker" and "Easier" was also how you shopped by mail.

275) Only day and month matter when determining who's born first, not year.

276) Perret believes that thinking will be Quan's downfall.

277) It's easier to shoot the crew and take over the 2 large vehicles that are crushing your SUV from both sides than just hit the brakes.

278) Perret is left handed.

279) The Captain can only keep the department off their backs for 24 hours because the feds are on the case.

280) Their 24 hours started five minutes ago.