MovieChat Forums > Steel Magnolias (1989) Discussion > The older I get, the more I sympathize w...

The older I get, the more I sympathize with...


... M'Lynn's attitude about Shelby having a baby of her own. She was absolutely right to be concerned, and in the end, Jackson Jr. was robbed of his mother.

Jackson and Shelby were too quick to dismiss buying a baby.

reply

I will always agree.

See my post aways down "20 yrs later"

reply

I was Team Shelby for years. I always sympathized with her. My daughter is Type 1 now, diagnosed at age 6. I still empathize with Shelby and understand her feelings, but living with the fear this horrible thing creates is a nightmare. I don't know that I wouldn't react the same way as M'Lynn.

reply

"Team Shelby" - I like that! That's me, Team Shelby. I love this movie, I bet I have seen it 20+ times. The one thing that really bugs me is how M'Lynn just craps all over Shelby when Shelby tells M'Lynn that she is pregnant. Shelby tries all these different approaches to get M'Lynn on board, even going so far as to confess the marriage is having trouble, but M'Lynn just won't have it. Finally, when Shelby BEGS her to support the pregnancy, M'Lynn walks out on her. That is unforgivable, IMO.

Yeah, I get it, you are concerned about your daughter's health and all that, and of course it's all Jackson's fault, but how is your attitude going to help? Do you want Shelby to abort the baby? I doubt it. It's over and done with, being a b*tch about it is not going to help anything. I don't see how a mother could look in the eyes of a child who is imploring her for her love and support and just turn her down flat like that. M'Lynn is a cold, selfish scold who needs to accept that her daughter is an adult now and isn't going to do everything she says anymore.

Quite frankly I don't see how Shelby lets it slide like that, the next scene they are over a Truvy's and all is hunky-dory between them.

reply

You're all busybodies. Mothers must accept they have no control over their adult offspring. Shelby knew the risks and she even said "I'd rather have 20 seconds of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." Do I think it was a wise choice to let a child grow up motherless? Doesn't matter. Not my circus not my monkeys.

reply

Well, I suppose when your child that you cherish develops a condition that could take their life if you don't manage the hell out of it and every morning you sigh in relief that she woke up at all, you get a titch overprotective.

reply

The correct quote is that she would rather have 30 minutes, not 20 seconds.

reply

Being concerned and being a busybody in my mind are too different things. If a parent knows that their child has a high chance of dying from having a child and also knows that their child's marriage is having problems, it would be hard not to be concerned.

reply

She was right to be concerned and THAT'S IT. I have diabetes for 19 years now, I have two beautiful and healthy daughters and both of my pregnancies went fine. Blood sugar also reacts to stress, emotions and no wonder Shelby had it hard when her mother was behaving like that.
Now, if you are focused on your blood sugar and do everything to eliminate spikes and lows, you can have a wonderful, full life, just like any other healthy person.

Some mothers demonize it a lot and they're not right to do that and traumatize their child. Young diabetics have it hard just the way it is and it's not wise to make them feel like they have a horrible disease. They don't, there are many worse than this. They need your support, your guidance, they need to be assured they're not different and broken, they're perfectly normal, just with a small problem that can be easily managed and they should and would be accepted all the same.
The worst thing that can happen to a diabetic child is overprotective, over-concerned parent. And I say that as a former diabetic child and a person who worked with newly diagnosed diabetic children and their families. It's not easy, but it's manageable.
Testing is organized skepticism

reply

M'Lynn was scared to death that she would lose her daughter. The backstory does not reveal how many near misses Shelby has had, but the behavior of others in the beauty shop to Shelby's pre-wedding diabetic reaction shows how serious it is.

After Jackson Jr. is born, M'Lynn is considerably more relaxed. Donating her kidney gives back the feeling that she can finally do something to extend her daughter's life. The transplant rejection and coma several months later is a devastating blow.

Shelby's desire to have her own child is, in part, to have tangible evidence that her own life has had meaning. She knows she will die at a younger age than most people. She wants something lasting, a reason to have gone through her trials. The decision to have a baby is a risk she is willing to take, even if she will die sooner.

reply

She was right to be more than concerned..

I've seen the movie too many times to name since I was a child and now that I'm older I think Shelby was incredibly irresponsible, and Jackson should have been on her as much as M'Lynn about it.

She didn't think it would kill her. She was probably hopeful that her kidneys wouldn't even give out. She was naive and her actions proved to be selfish.

I think Shelby is 23 at the start of the movie. Not surprising, we all think were invincible at some point in our youth.

reply

I can see it from both sides. I'm having health issues of my own, where I'm going to have to take medicine for 5 years that will pretty much most likely put me into menopause at 33, and so I can understand Shelby's fear and wanting a baby of her own. Adoption is an option but there's nothing like having a biological child that will carry on (hopefully) the best parts of you.

But since Shelby's doctor told her that children wasn't possible and she knew that it was a huge risk for her and probably her child, I understand M'Lynn's frustrations that Shelby didn't seem to care that she could die because she wanted a biological child.

-"Moo with me"

reply

I've always been pretty much on M'Lynn's side.
Even though M'Lynn could be critical & harp on Shelby about other issues (what Mom doesn't lol) she was ABSOLUTELY RIGHT in being furious & very concerned when Shelby got pregnant.

Then when I heard Shelby say the words "The doctors said this would probably happen." I lost ALL sympathy for Shelby.
SHE KNEW there was an enormous chance that her kidneys would blow out, yet she has a baby anyway?!
Her reasoning for it sounded childish too, so 'her life would be special'.
A baby doesn't make your life special, its not for the baby to have to fill that void.

Between the wedding attitude & the baby attitude of BOTH Shelby & Jackson, it sounded an awful lot like 'I want what I want' and not thinking of the baby's future & other consequences.






I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus.
Didn't he discover America?
Penfold, shush.

reply