MovieChat Forums > Kickboxer (1989) Discussion > So what? Can he move like me?

So what? Can he move like me?

posted 9 years ago by colonel_inguss
13 replies | jump to latest

No, he's just gonna wreck your sh-t with a giant headbutt, about 30 knees to your rib cage, and a massive elbow that severs your spine and renders you pretty much useless in a fight against Tong Po's lackeys, you dumb bastard.
Have fun trying to find a Thai local to bring you to the hospital too, jackwagon! Best you can hope for is your gay tank top, high pants wearing brother to go find an old man in the jungle that gets him drunk and makes him dance and fight dudes in some sh7t a55 bar.
Maybe if he kicks enough banana trees and has all he can stand of Tong Po raping his girlfriend everyday, he may fight him for honor and retribution.

[–] mikebmc 9 years ago

Lol. I'm rolling

[–] colonel_inguss 9 years ago

Am I wrong?

[–] sweetheart_509 9 years ago

So do you like the movie or not, OP?

[–] colonel_inguss 9 years ago

It's probably the greatest film in the history of ever. The screenwriting is brilliant. I mean, if I had to sit down and figure out how to explain, on paper, how even though Eric and Kurt sound nothing alike, yet they're brothers, there's absolutely no way I could've come up with "Eric stayed with my father in America, and I moved with my mother to Belgium." It's genius.

[–] mikebmc 9 years ago

All I know is this brilliant film can be watched over and over again. Slow motion helicopter kicks, sexy tank tops, mullets, black dude in a van, vengeance for the under dog, hope, plaster falling down, great soundtrack and of course slow motion helicopter kicks. I know I said that already but come on. They are slow motion helicopter kicks that are so powerful that they put the one getting kicked into a trance causing them to freeze and just stand there, waiting for that foot to slap their face as if they are just begging for a broken face.. Funny thing is I took Muay Thai. I never learned how to do that. I know that the slow motion is a film effect but I bet Van could do it for real while everyone else was in real time. And he'd still hit his target!
Acting *****
Direction****
*beep*
Conematography**
Slow Mo Helicopter Kicks*****
Over All Score*******************x 5,000
Watch it. You will enjoy this film.

[–] ChknSoupForDaFanboysSoul 9 years ago

plaster falling down

The 80s pop rock ballad that I was singing in my head hit its climax just as I reached "plaster falling down" in your list. It was beautiful. It was almost enough to make me spunk in my red striped tube sock.

[–] mikebmc 9 years ago

Actually, I planned for that to happen. Pretty good, huh?

[–] rebelscout 9 years ago

"Until plaster was falling down"!

It was years until I found out that he said "plaster" in that quote.

For the longest, I thought he said, platsu.
I just couldn't figure it out.

[–] dennisvest30 9 years ago

It's a national disgrace that this didn't win an Oscar. The dance scene alone should have settled it, JCVD was robbed!

[–] mikebmc 9 years ago

Every time Van Damme slaps his hands together in dance, I smile. Thank you Kickboxer. You have served me well.

[–] colonel_inguss 9 years ago

Brother, you have no idea. This film is the pinnacle of modern cinema.

[–] Jonathan_El-Diablo 8 years ago

Now Su Kow! Nok Su Kow!

[–] Herreken 7 years ago

Best you can hope for is your gay tank top, high pants wearing brother to go find an old man in the jungle that gets him drunk and makes him dance and fight dudes in some sh7t a55 bar.

This made me LoL in real life. Thanks!

DISPLAY thy breasts, my Julia!