It's a lie!!!!


I have read the book and I think the movie had changed somethings to make it more dramatic for television.
In the book I had the feeling Steven actually enjoyed being molestated,it sounds horrible but I got that from the book.Ok not that he enjoyed but that Parnell had done it for so long to the poor kid that he didnt feel anything after a while.And in parts of the books Steven said himself that he felt love for Parnel(wich in my opinion makes the book more disturbing than the movie),and there his allso the fact that he didnt want to be found,he was not retarded as a teenager he knew that he was being molestaded,yet he never tryed to see if he could find a better life.I dare to say that Steven had an other motive from bringing Billy to the police,I think he was jealous that a new younger boy was taking his place.

From the book I read the story of a regular young boy that got brainwashed into becoming a sex slave and at the end totally got used to it,he even let Parnell screw his freinds/neighbour up.I felt that by age fourteen Steven was happy with this sick way of living because he simply didnt know better and once he got home he wasnt happy,he wanted to see Parnell again.

But for the movie it has been modified for us to feel sorry for Steven ,somme parts of the books were cut off and funilly it was the parts that helped me geting a bit of disliked for Steven.

I think there was far more to the story than what we see in the movie and the relationship between Parnell and Steven was not just good vs evil but was far more complex than that.

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I've read the book too and you're totally wrong (or you didn't understand it at all!). At 7 years old, he didn't know what to do, he was too immature, but he didn't like what was happening at all. He has been an innocent victim AND THAT'S THE KEY WORD: he has been a victim from the beginning to the end, even at 14.

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Yes! he was a victim,I agree but I think that at age fourteen it seemed that they were other things going on in his head.
Come on he was fourteen,he was not stupid he knew what Parnel was doing to him was wrong so How comme he didnt try to leave as soon as he was old enough?
How come he had let Parnell molest his freinds?
When he was a little boy , I understand that he was very young so he couldnt do much BUT I still think there was more to him than what we see in the movie.
The way I felt for him was different in the movie than in the book,I felt so sad for Steven when I watched the movie so I wanted to learn more so I bought the book and it felt totally different,less hollywood,more disturbing and Steven had a lot more isues with his real familly that are not covered in the movie.
I am just saying that the kid was victim not only because he was raped multiple time by that sick bastard,Parnell but he was allso victim of brainwash.Steven at age fourteen smoked,was having sex and it was clearly shown in the book that he had somme afection for the man who raped him as a child,he wanted to see him in prison!!!!!and at times in the book he writes that he had somme good time with him.
I am not saying that Steven was bad I am just saying there was certainly other more complex things going on in his mind that were not covered in the movie.
And the Stayner familly are no angels either,I mean its weird,their youngest son was kidnaped and raped and even at an old enough age,Steven never questioned the lie Parnell told him,He never bothered trying to find his real familly...why?!!!!
And their Oldest son murdered inocent girls.
I mean something is going on there!!!!!!!!

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I agree with Oliver for the most part. Steven even said that he was used to it and was fine with Parnell. But when he came home he realized what he had been through and was angry at him. Yes, he was brainwashed, but I don't agree that he was jealous of Timmy White. If you look at pictures of him, he's got the biggest smile(unlike Nemec in the film) and he seems genuinely happy with the attention. He doesn't seem like he's hiding anything.

Sympathy can raise your tolerancy level to astronomical heights. He said he "felt sorry" for Parnell, that's all I needed to hear.

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he was brainwashed. do you understand that term, genius?

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Yes! he was a victim,I agree but I think that at age fourteen it seemed that they were other things going on in his head.
Come on he was fourteen,he was not stupid he knew what Parnel was doing to him was wrong so How comme he didnt try to leave as soon as he was old enough?


He was abducted at the age of 7. By the time he was 14, he wouldn't have thought of it as 'wrong' anymore, it was just his life. Human beings can get used to anything, the worst type of abuses, and one of the first thing to go is any hope that there can be anything better for yourself. So no, if something has happened to you for half of your life, you aren't going to know that it's 'wrong.' How could you, what do you have to compare it too? Fuzzy memories of a family that supposedly didn't want you? Even if he did know it was wrong, it was what he felt he had to put up with in order to be loved and taken care of.

Grown adults get used to being abused in less time, particularly when they are dependent on there abusers, and often times even when they are not. Children want to be loved, and will take 'love' in any form they can get it. Isolating a child and being his soul provider of love, he or she will do anything for you and anything to recieve your love an approval.

Aditionally, our bodies are designed to enjoy sexual stimulation, so it's quite possible that he felt some pleasure during the abuse. This is what adds to the guilt, and the difuculy in dealing with the situation. Now you are 'bad' becuase you enjoyed something that you know is wrong. This pushes you into identifying with your abuser, you feel like you are in it together. Also, it's a lot easier on your self image to convince yourself that you are in love with someone than that they abused you. Our minds lie to ourselves in order to protect us. That happens all the time, and we often don't know our own motivations for our actions. (let alone someone elses)


___________
Amyanda2000
~You okay honey?

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<He was abducted at the age of 7. By the time he was 14, he wouldn't have thought of it as 'wrong' anymore, it was just his life. Human beings can get used to anything, the worst type of abuses, and one of the first thing to go is any hope that there can be anything better for yourself. So no, if something has happened to you for half of your life, you aren't going to know that it's 'wrong.' How could you, what do you have to compare it too? Fuzzy memories of a family that supposedly didn't want you? Even if he did know it was wrong, it was what he felt he had to put up with in order to be loved and taken care of.

Grown adults get used to being abused in less time, particularly when they are dependent on there abusers, and often times even when they are not. Children want to be loved, and will take 'love' in any form they can get it. Isolating a child and being his soul provider of love, he or she will do anything for you and anything to recieve your love an approval.

Aditionally, our bodies are designed to enjoy sexual stimulation, so it's quite possible that he felt some pleasure during the abuse. This is what adds to the guilt, and the difuculy in dealing with the situation. Now you are 'bad' becuase you enjoyed something that you know is wrong. This pushes you into identifying with your abuser, you feel like you are in it together. Also, it's a lot easier on your self image to convince yourself that you are in love with someone than that they abused you. Our minds lie to ourselves in order to protect us. That happens all the time, and we often don't know our own motivations for our actions. (let alone someone elses)>


Very good post, Amyanda. Your post explains STeven's reactions well and made a lot of sense, too.

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There are so many answers to your questions regarding why Steven didn't run away or want to contact his family.

Do you honestly think that he was only sexually abused? He wasn't. It was far more than that. He was mentally and emotionally abused as well. He was taken as a child and spent seven plus years with his abuser. Do you know what usually happens in those situations? It's called conditioning. The abuse became all Steven knew. He forgot his family. He forgot most of his life before he was taken. His world revolved around his abuser. And as sick and twisted as it is, he got attached to the man raping him. It got to the point where it was all he knew so he was partly comfortable with his situation. Also you have to remember that sexual abuse/rape causes a lot of shame factors. And for him to have endured it for so many years he would have been conditioned to believe he deserved what was happening to him.

I haven't seen this movie since it aired but I think I remember his abuser saying things to Steven like that his parents didn't want him and didn't love him. A seven year old is going to react to that very strongly. Even as he grew up that wouldn't have changed. He was traumatized at such a young age that it never really left him regardless of how many years passed.

As for not wanting to go home to his parents I imagine it had something to do with the lies his abuser told him about his parents not loving or wanting him. From the beginning he would have been waiting for his mom or dad to show up and save him. When they didn't he would start to believe his abusers lies about his parents not caring about him or wanting him.

Then also there's the shame factor again. After so many years of horrendous abuse Steven would have felt damaged and dirty and unworthy of love. I know all of this firsthand as I was raped at a very young age. I was raped and ritually abused for most of my childhood. One summer in particular I was kidnapped by my abusers and held captive for three months. I waited for my mom to show up and rescue me but she didn't. The longer she didn't come the more brainwashed I became. They told me what they were doing to me was what people who love you do to you. They said my mom wasn't coming to save me because she didn't want me or love me. They said she knew what was happening but didn't care. And after a while I began to believe them. My abusers became my entire life. I grew attached to them. I even loved them in a small twisted way. I didn't run away because I thought my family didn't want me or care what was happening to me. Because they didn't care I thought I deserved it so I stayed instead of trying to escape. That summer changed my entire life and me as a person forever. I'm almost 30 and I still feel dirty and ashamed. I still think I deserved what happened to me. Childhood trauma never leaves you. You can't ever escape it. It's with you for life. I'm living proof of that. It's not always about the sexual abuse. The mental and emotional abuse is the most damaging aspects. Steven didn't run away because he was brainwashed into thinking he deserved what was happening to him. He didn't run away because his abuser was all he had for years and years. It was all he knew. Abuse was his life. He became comfortable in his situation. His family and his life before being abducted became the unknown and not the familiar. His abuser ended up being his family. It makes me sad that some people can't see this or understand it. His actions make perfect sense to me as they were my personal reactions to my own abuse.

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I'm sorry for what you had to go through.

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I agree with believer b's post. He was an innocent young boy who was fed alot of lies by that sick pervert! He was a VICTIM. Trying to place blame on Steven is like trying to say a rape victim deserved to be raped because of what they were wearing.

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[deleted]

The book is also called I Know My First Name Is Steven.

I never had the friends like I did when I was 12. Jesus, does anyone?

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[deleted]

um.... did you just refer to timmy white as billy?


your post is ridiculous! steven hardly enjoyed being molested (or as you put it "molesteded"). he was just young and weak.

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Their are many differences between the movie and the book:

Movie-Steven dropped out of HS after his sophmore year.
Book-He dropped out in the middle of his senior year.

Movie-Steven met Jody in HS and married her when he was 17.
Book-He met her when he was 19 and married her when he was 20.

Movie-Parnell allowed Steven to smoke when he was 8.
Book-Parnell didn't let Steven smoke until he was 11.

Movie-Parnell first molested Steven at his Cathys Valley cabin.
Book-He first molested Steven in an empty parking lot.

And the movie didn't cover Steven and Parnells life with Barbara and her family. And they barely covered the court case.

Thats why I wish they would make a theatrical version of this story, that way they could cover the 'whole' story.

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Unless a person was abused as a child, it's very hard to understand exactly how it feels. Sexual stimulation is a very confusing thing for a child to experience at the hands of someone older. There can be guilt feelings and even a sense of devotion to the abuser, depending on the relationship they have. It's complex. It's not always as simple as "liking it" or "hating it." But really, if any kid had a choice, they would long to be unconditionally loved by adults who keep their hands to themselves.

-- Leet.

~ Gíñä ®ïl€ÿ ¡§  GødÐes§! ~

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Ok lets talk about his real parents,I beleive there is something rather odd with them.I mean Steven was a child when he was abtucted but I'll bring back the point that as a later age most teeneager would rethink the situation and realise it dosnt make sense what Parnell has said and would try to find their parents,but Steven never seemed to try that hard to escape from the clutches of someone who molestated him......why?!!!!!!!
Then there is the fact that Steven older brother had murdered inocent couple of girls.
My point is they had an abducted son that never tryed to find them even when he was old enough to and they have a son in jail for murder.
Dont you think that there must be something wrong with their parenting.

Please dont be angry at me I am not trying to insult Steven memory or your opinion,I just beleive that people should not take the movie as the truth like a previous posters said a lot of the real story had been missing from the movie and what had been missing are things that truly separate Steven in the movie from the real Steven.

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This is to the person who first posted and cannot seem to get passed the fact that Steven did not try to escape before.

My view is Steven was an innocent 7 year old when abducted and sexual abused by Parnell. H e was too young to do anything about it and Parnell fed him lie after lie about why he was there so in the end Steven felt that he had no choice and thought he had to stay there. Then as Steven grew older he had been so brain washed by parnell that although he knew what was happening was wrong he felt powerless to stop it.

Parnell had total control over Steven and it wasn't until parnell abducted the other little boy that Steven finally found the courage to run away from him because he didn't want the little boy going through what he went through.

The fact that Steven saved the other boy from a life like he had shows how Steven felt.

I really dont think you should read too much between the lines in cases like these the facts speak for themselves. Steven was 7 years old when parnell took him away from everything he has ever known and a teenager although more phycially able to stand up for himself is still not mature enough to deal with alot of issues that steven was going through.

The bottom line is Steven was scared of parnell but showed how decent,brave and couragous he was by saving the other little boy.

Also in reply to the topic of his brother theres no evidence to suggest that their was anything wrong with their parents but look at the facts again His young brother was abducted and sexually abused all them years how would your parents react? Then he shows up completely different to how you remember him and is also suddenly famous so your whole family is in the spot light then the same brother dies tragically.How would you feel?

I am not condoning the murders and he deserves his prison sententance but dont you think the family should have been given more help and support. Parnell ruined so many lives by his sick actions and these are the far reaching effects of abuse.

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Didn't try to get away? Do you know how big a 7-year-old boy is? Steven was a tiny child, scared to death. Both the film and the book show Steven using the phone to call his home, but he couldn't remember his home phone #.
And as for Steven growing to "like" the abuse, that is laughable. Victims of ritual abuse and torture often learn to separate themselved from the abuse by becoming numb to it or, in extreme cases, blacking out while it is happening. This does not make the abuse any less horrific for them. It is one mechanism that our minds use to deal with pain - both physical and emotional. Do not doubt that Steven Staynor suffered from post-traumatic stress syndrome for the rest of his short life. Abuse does not end when the abuse stops happening.
In response to the "he could have escaped sooner" argument, look at Elizabeth Smart. Her abductors took her out in public on numerous occasions; all she'd have to do is yell out "help" or "I've been kidnapped" in a store, and she'd be safe. But her captors brainwashed her into thinking she'd never get away, and that they'd kill her family if she tried anything. As it was, the police who recognized her had to beg her to admit who she really was, and separate her from her captors before she'd say a word.
Parnell told Steven that his family didn't want him anymore, and that they'd moved away from the house where he grew up, so that even if he did go back, no one would be there.
Steven was 14 when he escaped with Timmy White - STILL A CHILD. I find it bizarre and frightening that people can feel anything but the deepest sympathy and understanding for abuse, rape, and torture victims - especially someone like Steven, who rescued Timmy White from the same fate that he suffered. Steven was a victim, and in the end, a hero.

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It is amazing to me how people who have NEVER been a victim of child molestation/incest or abuse AND are not in the medical field can sit there and say how a child enjoyes being kidnapped and raped.

I have been in his position as a young child.
I have also counseled other children/adults who have been in the same situation.

Steven saw this man who was the one who kidnapped him as a father figure.
He was lead to believe his parents didn't want him.

In this day and age with all the young children being kidnapped and who are victims of being sexually assaulted and/or possibly worse being killed it is disturbing to see some ignorant person trying to say that he enjoyed this.

He was lead to believe that he had to live with this man.
AS a CHILD of 7 he was confused and was beinbg brainwashed.

Just as MANY children who are taken by one parent.
They believe the other parent has abandoned them.

A 7 year old isn't going to go up and say kidnap me and molest me.

I have to wonder if the original poster is someone who abused small children and trying to justify it with saying they enjoy it.

Steven was a VICTIM of a MAN who lied, abused, brainwashed, and sexually molestated this boy.



If you don't have much to begin with, then you don't have much to lose.

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Ambersky,

I have to agree with you. I got a strange feeling that the original poster is or is becoming a child molestor himself.

For him to even write these feelings down makes me sick to the stomach.

Ambersky, I applaude your honestly and your work you are doing. All the best to you and yours.


:)

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I actually thought the original poster was just a silly attention-seeking little child but, worryingly, he claims to be twenty-five on another thread so there really isn't any excuse for his utter ignorance other than yes, this person does have paedophilic tendencies himself.



"I always pretend to root for Gryffindors but, secretly, I love my Slytherin boys."~ Karen, W&G

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I remember being left with caregivers(babysitters) I didn't like as a child. I never ran away, even though I felt mistreated. Mostly because I always believed my parents would be upset if I misbehaved or wasn't well received by these caregivers. I always knew they would come for me.

When a child's opinion isn't respected in the home, or can't be acknowledged for financial reasons, the child will assume no one cares how uncomfortable he is. You tack on the gifts given by Parcell and the special treatments, and most kids will feel guilty for not going along with an adult. As he aged, that guilt probably turned into anger for his parents.

As for the brother, I totally buy that this family was not the beacon of safety. I can think up a million scenarios for why Cary would continue to feel rage in that household, while the rest of the family probably goes on to become overachievers and model citizens.

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Gina,

Thank you for finally suming it up like a proper adult.

OMG! All of you people need to think about what life is like at 7. You are in constant need of reasurement, affection, discipline etc.

Now depending on who is teaching and parenting you, your outcome will differ to anyone else's.

Steven, being jealous of Timmy White? Give me a break.

Keith Parnell is a predator, a manipulator, and a sick and twisted individual.

He is in the wrong, his abuse in Stevens eyes was a form of love. Steven didn't know any better at the time.

I hope that all who have seen this movie take away it's meaning. Inform your children, watch your children, talk with, and not at your children. It's our job as parents to do all we possibly can to protect them.

I sincerly hope that none of you, or your loved ones ever have to go through what Steven and his family have gone through.

Steven is a hero. Enough said.

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Unless a person was abused as a child, it's very hard to understand exactly how it feels. Sexual stimulation is a very confusing thing for a child to experience at the hands of someone older. There can be guilt feelings and even a sense of devotion to the abuser, depending on the relationship they have. It's complex. It's not always as simple as "liking it" or "hating it." But really, if any kid had a choice, they would long to be unconditionally loved by adults who keep their hands to themselves.


This is such a good comment, it bears repeating! Unless you have been abused as a child you truly can not have any understanding of what happens to a child who has experienced it. The way they think is altered in a way that it is hard to explain. It affects every area of your life. And in most cases, a child is left to feel that there is something wrong with them and that they deserved it to happen. So they may have sympathy or loving feelings for the molester, but that is because their sense of trust, love and their self image is all messed up.
As for enjoying the sexual feelings, many people say they experienced that too. Even Oprah said on her show that she enjoyed the sexual feelings she had when molested, after all that is part of the human experience. Your body does not know that it should not have those feelings, sometimes it is automatic.
Oprah says that part of the process is the molester seducing you. I see that as very evident in this case. The man told Steve his parents did not want him anymore and he must have felt so abandoned. Who else could he turn to for anything, even the loving feelings you would have for a caregiver?

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its okay to pose questions to wonder why certain things happen, but you seem to lack any empathy for this victim. Even adults can take a lifetime to get over abuse. You obviously have a hard time with compassion. Perhaps there is a reason for this? Sociopathic qualities can be inherited, or is there some other reason? I'll give you a good example of how I believe parents can instill sociopathy/lack of empathy in their offspring: Bush #43 was treated very coldly as a child, in fact he didn't learn of his own sister's tragic death until later, then it was told to him in a dismissive way. Don't you think Bush's lack of compassion for other people (i.e. Katrina victims etc) could be seen as an outgrowth of his own parent's lack of compassion with him?
In other words, I think you should look in a mirror and start looking at the reasons why you want to blame this poor victim for not running away.

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Not only is Bush a sociopath, but he had terrible parents?

The More You Know!

(By the way no matter how you feel about him, it really is hard to argue he's a sociopath without looking like someone who is completely bias, I think the guys a bad pres., but I don't think he's insane).

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This was the major problem. There were many circumsstances that led to Stevens torture. The same time he was kidnapped, he had a discussion with his father about respect for grown ups and that he has to obey. Today we know that this could led to the thing that a boy could be so weak that he has no chance to see what is really going on.

And I dont think that Steven was stimulated by the things Parnell does. Parnell only sodomized him (after that he bleeded!!!) and forced him to s... his d... till he ejaculated in the little boys mouth. You never can find a boy that likes these acts. The kid tried to talk to the school psychlogist, but the woman has not really heared the fear when Steven talked about his new dad. She was convinced, that she should helb him accepting his new dad instead of asking why the boy was so scared.

Its a very tragic story because it happened so many times. Thats the reason why this evil thing got just normal. Steven said, that he got used to it.

And its just naturally, that the book has some differences to the movie. If a movie contains all these details, no one could show it. I say the movie and after a while a read the book. There are differences, but it is the same kid, the same story, only some parts had to be hidden due to the fact, that somebody should be able to see the movie.

In fact, I read something that this case was the third worst case of a child torture ever happened in the USA. After I read the book I can really not imagine what happened in the first two cases...

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Really good point and to be honest I dont really wanna know what hapened in the other two cases.

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To the Bush bashers on this thread - way to turn something tragic like Steven Stayner's abduction into a platform for your ridiculous and asinine anti-Republican rhetoric. Stick to the topic at hand & leave your political rants to another website.

Now regarding the OP of this thread, I haven't read the book so I have no way in knowing how you came to your decision but I highly doubt Steven enjoyed being molested. I can see why so many posters are upset about your inference, it's pretty unsettling...

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One thing that has always troubled me about this is the fact that a 7 year old boy walked several blocks home from school. I grew up on a farm, and my parents wouldn't even let me stay home after school alone until I was 12. I wasn't even allowed to stay in the house alone while my dad was out on the farm. My mother always said there are too many bad people out there. I thought she was overprotective. I was born in 1958, so the time frame wasn't much different. I was 7 in 1965 - the year Steven was born. I am not criticizing the parents, but that's just the way I was brought up and I always thought that was strange.

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They probly figured that nobody would snatch him in the middle of a suburban community.

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That never bothered me. My mother walked me to school everyday the first week of kindergarten in '79 and then I walked the six blocks across town alone until I started driving. My brother and Sister who are both younger didn't even get that. For some reason that escapes me we all took different routes. And we lived in the area that was supposedly "transformed" by the Starkweather-Fugate spree killings in the fifties.

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I haven't read the book (yet) but sene the movie and however I won't swear on what's the truth about Steven's parents but if it was true that they never talked to him about getting in car with strangers nor taught him how to use a telephone (he was after all already 7 - in that case the age is 'already' and not 'only').

If all that was true plus the distance between the school and the home he walked alone - I would very much critisize his parents.

If Steven hadn't suffered for their incredibly horrific parenting, I would say it served them right to lose him like that.
But I eon't since the child did suffer. -.-

Gosh, it annoyes me to no end every time in the movie, the scene where the police asks them if they had done crtain important things and they never had. -.-

YOU WILL CURSE THE DAY YOU DID NOT DO ALL THAT THE PHANTOM ASKED OF YOU!

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This is not directed at anyone, but I had to get something off my chest. I'm sick and tired of people second-guessing and blaming victims of abuse and rape. Unless you have been in such a situation yourself, you really shouldn't pass judgement. And Steven lived in what was thought to be a relatively safe neighborhood, in a small community - so his parents must have felt secure - after all, they had four other children who had never been exposed to anything violent or dangerous. Steven was a child, vulnerable and naive, and snatched cruelly from his family and fed horrendous lies and subjected to even more horrendous abuse. After a while, Parnell was the only parental figure he had and they moved quite frequently. I agree with the Stockholm Syndrome assessment that could very well be relevant in this case. And the police could have expanded their efforts rather than giving up Steven for dead.

The abuser has all the power, while the child is helpless in a relentless cycle. This was also a different time when the affects of abuse, the danger of abduction and molestation was not discussed and awareness had not been heightened the way it is now. I lived in an abusive home for years and never reported what was going on, out of fear, loyalty and the fact that I blamed myself. It's not as clear cut as just getting out and calling the police. It's much more complex to a child - the abuse becomes so much a part of your existence that it doesn't occur to you to live any other way. It wasn't until Parnell brought Timmy White into the picture that Steven realized that he had to take action - he couldn't allow this to happen again. He was selfless in that he risked both of their lives to escape Parnell and sent Timmy into the police station alone - it was only because Timmy got scared and ran to Steven that it was even discovered that he had been missing for seven years. His main concern was getting Timmy away from Parnell, not for himself.

The Stayner family is definately dysfunctional, and Steven's abduction obviously did not help matters. But keep in mind that Cary Stayner has admitted that he had fantasies about killing women long before Steven's disappearance. Perhaps if it had been caught earlier, but would they have known what to look for? Cary was extremely quiet (a word used to describe him by so many people), and uncommunicative, how could his parents have known what was going on inside his head? With so many other things going on, would you have been able to ascertain that there was a future serial killer in your family? Would you know what to do after your child had been abducted? There is no definate, clear answer. I just wish that stiffer penalties were doled out to abusers, rapists, kidnappers and stalkers. And that there was no more of the cycle of shame and sweeping things under the rug. None of the Stayners (including Steven) received counselling, perhaps because of the thought of sharing their ordeal with strangers, which is unfortunate because they clearly all needed help in dealing with the aftermath of Steven's captivity.

Sorry for rambling on - I just had to speak out!

http://vintagestars.proboards67.com

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If Steven hadn't suffered for their incredibly horrific parenting, I would say it served them right to lose him like that.
But I eon't since the child did suffer. -.-

There doesn't seem to be evidence that their parenting was horrific. If their child turned out to be a serial killer, that does not mean they turned him that way. If that were true, wouldn't all of the children be deviants? And following that logic, everyone in prison must have had terrible, terrible parenting. That is a blanket judgement I am not willing to make. If you read any books on serial killers, there are a lot of things that contribute to starting that cycle. Sometimes parenting might make up a part of that. But sometimes it doesn't. And sometimes a child might have problems, and though the parents do everything in their power to help him he just turns out a certain way. I do not believe we can lay the blame at the door of parents for everything that happens to people. Sometimes there is just something wrong with someone.

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What are you on about? You argue my point with Steven's brother yet in my post I never critisized their parenting regarding Steven's brother--I only spoke of Steven and how Steven was a victim of bad parenting. I even literally mentioned what I meant with the bad-parenting accusation.

Did you even read my post apart from that one sentence?

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This post is about 4 years old but I just have to tell you you should never blame steven or his parents the only one who deserves blame is parnell. Even though he is dead now I bet when he was alive reading articles or posts where people would blame the parents or steven that parnell would get a rush.

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"One thing that has always troubled me about this is the fact that a 7 year old boy walked several blocks home from school. I grew up on a farm, and my parents wouldn't even let me stay home after school alone until I was 12. I wasn't even allowed to stay in the house alone while my dad was out on the farm. My mother always said there are too many bad people out there. I thought she was overprotective. I was born in 1958, so the time frame wasn't much different. I was 7 in 1965 - the year Steven was born. I am not criticizing the parents, but that's just the way I was brought up and I always thought that was strange."


This was 1972. Back then I'm sure many kids walked home from school alone. Although there were many child predators out there, I don't think parents worried as much back then. Alot of parents probably thought it could never happen to their child. I was in elementary school in the early 80's, and I always walked to the bus stop by myself. Nowadays, as I'm driving to work, I never see a bus stop without an adult present. Parents are much more cautious today then they were 30 years ago.

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This was 1972. Back then I'm sure many kids walked home from school alone. Although there were many child predators out there, I don't think parents worried as much back then. Alot of parents probably thought it could never happen to their child. I was in elementary school in the early 80's, and I always walked to the bus stop by myself

I also walked to school myself from 1st grade through third grade until we moved. I dropped my sister off at daycare in those years too. Back then people did not hear or know as much as they do now about that kind of stuff.
And the sad fact is, a child is way more likely to be molested by someone in his/her life that a stranger snatching him off the street. Yes, it does happen....and it always makes the news so we know about it. But kids who are molested by their relatives, teachers, coaches etc don't always tell. The statistics say 1 in 4 girls is molested before age 18. That is obviously way more than children who are kidnapped.
So I wouldn't judge Steve's parents harshly for that. It was a product of the time. And truthfully, we should all worry more about the people whi knwo and interact with out kids.....statistics say they are way more dangerous.

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Even though the original post is from a year ago, I think the original poster has absolutely NO clue on child psychology or trauma that comes from abuse. Their justificiation is completely obsured and shows their ignorance from a lack of understanding.

Plain and simple: He was kidnapped at seven, seven year olds believe any lie if it's told over and over especially to justify something sudden.
By age 14 he had been abused for seven years, this is how he grew up, and even if he knew it was horrible, it is what he was used to. He was brain washed and had stockholm syndrom, ex: Elizabeth Smart. This is a very simple explaination of the psychology of children and abuse.

Personally I lived with an alcoholic parent which came with it abuse. I knew it was wrong but that is also the way life was. After my parent left I flipped flopped houses and let me tell you, I would have rather gone back with my parent then face the unknown which for a pre-teen is very scary. Pre-teens and teens are not adults so do not expect them to rationalize or have the emotional or mental capacity like an adult.

Steven's family and himself were very messed up, only from seeing the movie they had no clue on how to deal with what happened. I did not see anyone getting counseling, it was more okay your home it's over. I am not sure if that is just because of the time it happened in. I think there could have been a different outcome if all of them went for help.

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I'd also like to point out that it's not like he was mollested by somebody (such as a teacher) and then had some normal life he went back home to- this was his upbringing!!! I think some people must not realize how impressionable children are, how their upbringing effects them and molds them into the person they become. we really believe that we are all born knowing "right and wrong" and middle-class middle American values! that's not true at all, our upbringing determines a large part of who we become.

___________
Amanda
http://groups.myspace.com/jonathanrandallfanclub

myspace.com/amanda_marr

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This was 1972. Back then I'm sure many kids walked home from school alone. Although there were many child predators out there, I don't think parents worried as much back then. Alot of parents probably thought it could never happen to their child. I was in elementary school in the early 80's, and I always walked to the bus stop by myself. Nowadays, as I'm driving to work, I never see a bus stop without an adult present. Parents are much more cautious today then they were 30 years ago.

I still see bus stops without adults present. People either feel that there neigborhood is safe, or that there is safetly in numbers or that they have no other choice.

Lot's of us where latch-key children, it was just a reality. Just because other children where in families where children where not aloud to be home alone at a young age doesn't mean that every family has that luxury. Differences in parenting styles doesn't mean that the stictest most protective one's are the best parents and the rest are bad parents. No parent is perfect, just remember that- no parent in the world would stand up to extreme scrutiny, the myth of the "perfect parent" is just as un-real as the myth of the "perfect family"

That's why it's always so easy to blame the victim- because not only are victims perfectly innocent in all things, neither are ANY of us. You don't have to be innocent to be a victim. We should not confuse the two and try to say that someone is not a victim because they were less than innocent or perfect.

___________
Amanda
http://groups.myspace.com/jonathanrandallfanclub

myspace.com/amanda_marr

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I think Tim White might disagree with you when it comes to why Steven saved him.
In my eyes Steven broke the cycle of his abuse and stopped Parnell from ripping another boy's life apart. That made him braver than most of us will ever have to be.

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Go do some reading about things like Stockholm Syndrome, and the other mental health effects on kidnap victims or hostages. It's far more likely that Steven Staynor was experiencing that effect.

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Shawn Hornbeck has just been found after being kidnapped and held captive for 4 1/2 years of his life. It's been less then a week since his return and already people are wondering why a child, now 15 years old, "stayed" with their captor. Why is it so hard for some people to understand what was being done to those innocent children such as Steven Stayner and Shawn Hornbeck? These children don't stay because they're having fun or because life is more pleasant there then at home. They are being held against their will. They are being physically as well as emotionally abused until their spirit is broken and they can't function as the rest of us would. I beg everyone to research and study up on Stockholm Syndrom and then maybe you'll better understand what these children as well as even adults are suffering through. They are the victims, not the villians.

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