MovieChat Forums > Birds of a Feather (1989) Discussion > Funniest lines

Funniest lines

posted 18 years ago by tru-fan
17 replies | jump to latest

Can anyone remember their funniest lines.....

I love it when Tracy gets hit on by this guy and Dorien gets jealous...
Dorien : "I would never throw myself at a man the way you did"
Tracey : "You? never throw yourself at a man?.....You'd fire yourself out of a cannon if you could get the helmet over your wig!"

Or when Dorien's ugly niece comes to stay "Look at her....she must have been conceived on a day trip to selifield"

One of my absolute favourites is when Tracey and Sharon think George Hamilton is there father and they say to Dorien.....

Sharon : "Tracey and I are celebrity children!"
Dorien : "Really? I didn't think King Kong had been allowed to mate"

Classic lines but there are so many of them.
Whats everyone elses?

[–] view146 18 years ago

While playing Monopoly -

Sharon: (Moving the piece around the board) "And you're on Dorien's boobs! Otherwise known as the Community Chest"

And the time Tracy was cheating at dieting -

Sharon: "I had to watch her like an 'awk."
Dorien: "What's an 'ork'?"
Sharon: "You know, an 'awk." (Flapping her arms) "AN 'AWK!!!"

Dorien is looking round Sharon and Tracy's new kitchen -

Dorien: (Opening one of the drawers) "Very smooth."
Sharon: Yeah. Think of the time you'd save if your draws moved as smoothly as that!"

[–] tru-fan 18 years ago

I also think the episode when Sharon auditions for the modelling agency and Dorien says she has always wanted to be in showbiz and Sharon retorts.....
"Do you really wanna be the woman in the stair lift advert?".
Cracked me up for ages.

[–] blazinsdbabe2003 18 years ago

Yeah the one wher they're playin Monopoly always gets me, everytime i play that game i think of it.

[–] smurfboy 17 years ago

Sharon and Tracy are rowing and Dorien says: 'God I love to watch working classwomen bicker - it's SO Albert Square!'

When Sharon is building the pool for Debbie Arnold's character:
Sharon: You've had more pool contractors than I've had hot dinners!
Debbie: I doubt it...

Tracy: Kate Moss might be a stick insect now, but one day she'll feel something dragging on the pavement behind her, turn round, and realise it's the cheeks of her 'arris.

[–] chad1977 17 years ago

I liked the episode where Sharon & Tracey are putting in double glazing for this man who is a con artist, and when they go round to get their money, his sister refuses to pay, so Dorian charges in....

DORIAN: Oh I've had enough of all this pussy-footing around, (then proceeds to
smash everything on the womans fireplace)
TRACEY: Dorian calm down!
DORIAN: I haven't even started, you pathetic Bitch....cough up!!
WOMAN: Oh all right, I'll go get my cheque book.
DORIAN: That was better than sex!!

[–] steviebchops 17 years ago

The one were Sharon is hunted in a shop as a model and Dorien asks "what are you modelling? Gloves?"

[–] rjc1987 17 years ago

haha I love the monopoly episode!!! Where Sharon says to Dorien

"You can't do that you cheating Arab!"

And in the first episode where Dorien says to Sharon

"It was nice meeting you Sharon, you might live in a slum but you have a certain grace"

[–] VanWhistler 15 years ago

I like the dieting one, where one says to the other:

"Little pickers wear bigger knickers!"

To err is human.
To really foul things up requires a computer.

[–] Melm 13 years ago

My favourite is when Sharon says of Dorien " She's had so much surgery there's enough left over to make a little person to follow behind and do the hoovering" or something in that vein. Cracks me up every time.
Vision TV (Canada is re showing them as I type this)

[–] dalabaster-479-313230 12 years ago

Tracey: He's got lovely eyes...
Sharon: Yeah? How many?

Dorien: If you ever call me aunty again I'll tell your mum about the time I caught you spying on me in the shower.
Garth: When was that?!
Dorien: About half past eleven tonight.

Tracey: We can't come to the phone right now because... we're aaaaaaaaat!

Tracey: Can I play devil's avacado for a second?

Tracey: You weren't sexually harassed!
Sharon: Alright, don't rub it in...

[–] 12 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Kraal718 11 years ago

When the girls and Dorien are discussing going to the new tapas bar and Sharon mispronounces "tapas".

Dorien-"Its ta-path Sharon,its tapath"

Sharon-"Oh ith ith!" LOL

[–] buddyboy28 10 years ago

Sharon - "Look here yo-yo knickers"

That always cracks me up.There's too many to mention really.Some of the episodes are just full of non-stop hilarious lines.

- - -
Fill your hand you son of a bitch!

[–] Reva_C 10 years ago

LOL I also can't play monopoly now without thinking about the community chest line.

It's not a line, but everytime I see the bit when they're in the hotel and Dorien sits on the camp bed that snaps shut with her inside of it...it still manages to make me laugh LOL

~ I hardly looked at his face. His knees were what I wished to see. ~

[–] moviefan926 9 years ago

I'll always remember the scene when dorien was crying and her makeup was running down her fsce when sharon walked in and said "Blimey it's Alice Cooper" haha.

[–] neof 9 years ago

Theres an early episode - I can't remember which one, where Sharon and Tracey are going on about money (or the lack of it).

Sharon says that all she could get for Traceys birthday in the past was a box of Milk Tray, and Tracey got her a blouse from Yves Saint Laurent. Then Tracey says " I dont know why I bothered you never wore it!" then Sharon says "Oh and what did I have to go with it? A pair of pink velour track suit bottoms?!"

Anyone remember which episode that was?

[–] kellymariekitty 8 years ago

You should have done er Shal, you should have done er with the Jack!!

Hahahahahahahahahahaa