MovieChat Forums > Talk Radio (1989) Discussion > Why Was Barry so Cruel to His Wife?

Why Was Barry so Cruel to His Wife?


Towards the end of the movie, Barry's wife calls in in the guise of a caller and speaks kind words to Barry only to have him rebuke her with vulgar and cruel responses. Why did he do this? You'd think after what he'd just been through he would be open for someone to love him.

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Well, it was his ex-wife.. and suffice to say he wasn't pleasant to her through-out. Though she was professing kind hearted and honest feelings, the situation was admittingly disgusting if you saw to look at it in that light; and he being in a point of utter most contempt for the world seemed to jump on that aspect of it. He heard her lying on the phone to her current husband, essentially calling him a sleezebag, then on air tried to profess her love for him. He was an idealist, who didn't seem opposed to love, he just had an idea that if it were real love, it wouldn't have been such an ugly situation. At least, that's my take on it.

--Joe

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Maybe because it was his job.

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Indeed, this is an excelent question. Judging from Barry's prior behavior to his wife, no one could expect such a reaction. He is the one who calls for her, asking for her encouragement, he obviously doesn't give a damn for his producer-girlfriend, when his wife arrives he is very tender to her, confessing her how he's missed her. All of these seem to have convinced her, and us too, that with a call reminding Barry of his early radio days, things will eventually work out pretty good. In fact very interesting is the fact that this call seems to be the beginning of Bary's sentimental collapse. It's the first time he seems to fully understand that he also is a part of the *beep* world he would so easily rebuke until then. If you think it deeper, this would be the exact reaction he would have had to such a call, if it was anyone else on the line except his own wife. But he doesn't have the courage anymore to put aside his own, very existing problems, from those of his callers.

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We say the ugliest and most hurtful things to the ones we love the most. Barry follows that trait of human nature because he is afraid and angry. He lashes out at the woman he loves because he'd rather attack her then be hurt when most vulnerable. Despite cheating on Ellen with some other floozy back when they were married, Barry feels betrayed by her for leaving him and hooking up with "some suburban zombie" -- what a blow to his great ego! Barry also heard Ellen call him a bleepin' basket case to her husband over the phone by accident. He has reason to believe that she regards him very lowly.

Barry is most reckless with his life, sullen and depressed to the point of suicide when the pressure of his show becomes monstrous. His idealism about his purpose in life gets chipped away by every utterance of stupidity, obtuseness, prejudice, ignornace by his callers.

Barry conveys his hurt by telling her the story of the little dog with a bone in his mouth. Afterwards, Barry, having near destroyed the last connection to a healthier and more heartening lifestyle by pursuing a future with Ellen, he has completely disintegrated as a human being. He regrets his actions wholeheartedly aloud to his producer-friend after his show is over.

"See Ellen, try to talk."

He says his worst fear is being boring and having his audience leaves him. He's really worried about being able to love and be love in return. One of the most harrowing phone calls comes in the form of a husky-voiced woman who conveys awareness, intelligence, sensitivity, and finally coldness: "The question is obvious -- why does an intelligent person like you put so much energy into hurting other people? Do you not love yourself, Bar. I'm sorry for you because you don't know how to love."

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Self-destructive people tend to attack and repel the people who are trying the hardest to help them.

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[deleted]

Left him over a meaningless affair and then wants to leave her second husband for nothing? Just another phoney

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The clues are there throughout the film: 1) when he meets the original talk show host in the place he was working as a suit salesman, his wife steps forward to meet the guy and Barry cuts her off quickly, stepping between them so he can dominate the conversation and schmooze the guy. 2) He says "F__k our marriage" when discussing marriage and career with Ellen in another of the flashbacks. and 3) Near the end he proclaims that he, himself, is a hypocrite, and that he professes hate for The System, while also embracing it. So he used her candor as just another career opportunity.

Simply put, Barry was very lonely but very selfish and wouldn't let anything come before personal success. He was sorry he did it, but it was plain he'd never act any other way. Also, watch when Ellen tries to make eye contact with Barry through the glass...he can't even look at this woman he professes to love...serious intimacy/commitment issues, as well as everything I said previously. He acted the only way that was comfortable to him at that point in his life: mean and cruel.

Thetruthcanthurtyouitsjustlikethedark.
Itscaresyouwitlessbutintimeyouseethings
clear&stark.

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He overheard Ellen telling her husband on the phone words to the effect "pretend I am visiting a sick relative". When she called in later Barry realized she was being nice only because she felt sorry for him.

It dawns on him his show and his entire life is based on lies and he begins lashing out. His "schtick" had been that people tell the truth on his show but he realizes it is nothing but a joke.

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They establish very clearly and plainly in the script that Barry treats his lovers like crap. He just does, it's part of who he is. They don't bother going into why.

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I always saw it that Barry knew he had a harsh "persona" on the air and his response to his wife's call was just fiction for the radio. You know this, because he immediately runs out to try to find her when the segment is over.

It's also possible he said it because he wants her to get on with her life, so he pushed her away again. He may not believe he is loveable, as it's said in the film several times.



"Farewell Good Hunter. May you find your worth in the waking world."

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The film makes note that Barry has self-loathing.
So her reaching out to him... he repels that.

But at the same time, i DO believe he was being honest with her, even though it was so mean. He DOES think she's a sell-out. He DOES think he has a bevvy or hot dames so why would he need her?

Basically, his life could go in 2 directions.... He could go with her, or he can continue his thing. Going back with her was a romantic notion, but when push comes to shove, he didn't want that choice.

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He could go with her, or he can continue his thing. Going back with her was a romantic notion, but when push comes to shove, he didn't want that choice.


Yes, good point. He chose the life of the "tortured artist" over her because he felt he would somehow be selling out otherwise. In the end, getting his "truth" out there is more important to him, at all costs. I also agree that his self-loathing and his demons were too many and he probably knew in the back of his mind that he would be dragging her down with him.



"This is dead air, Barry....dead air."

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I like your take.... that even though he's a big a$$, there was a part of him who was doing right by her, by refusing her. He could've led her on, and taken advantage of her doting, but best for her that he cut the cord dramatically.

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Yes, agreed. Note how he runs after her during the break, because he knew he went too far....but he also had to go too far to push her away for sure.


"This is dead air, Barry....dead air."

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Yes. This makes sense. He did still care for her but knew in the end it wouldn't work out- again. Besides she had remarried and he probably didn't want to be responsible for her leaving her current husband on a not so sure thing with him.
Dini

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Barry is a classic narcissist.He's nice to people only so far as what they can do for him. He has contempt for people, and even more for the ones who help him the most.

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A narcissist yes, but I think it comes more out of self-loathing.


"This is dead air, Barry....dead air."

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