Too Controlling Wife? - She's Having a Baby (1988) Discussion

[–] ijonesiii 18 years ago

The way I remember the film, Kristy made it crystal clear that she did not want Alec Baldwin and his girlfriend staying at the house because she didn't like the way Jake seemed overly interested in her and I also got the impression that she never liked the Alec Baldwin character.

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[–] 18 years ago

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[–] ehartsay 17 years ago

*stares*

You are joking, aren't you?

That is not like "surprise! I got you that DVD you like!"

It is more like "Surprise! I drugged you and got you into a gay orgy with the football team!" Or "Surprise! I got you a sex change operation while you were under!"

Not everyone wants, or even LIKES, babies or children.

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[–] estella2 18 years ago

if i was in her position. my husband wouldn't be hearing the last of my bitching. and he'd definitiely have to make me breakfast in bed or something to make up for it. ps. katy is that you? Go raiders. if it is, you'll get that reference.

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[–] 18 years ago

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[–] SouthernCross88au 18 years ago

Ok... you made your point.

I wouldn't because I like to listen to people instead of acting on first impulses...

Children are like snowflakes; unique, fragile and fleeting.

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[–] 18 years ago

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[–] CallMeSeverus 18 years ago

Now, I haven't seen the movie in several years, so I could be wrong... but we really don't know what type of conversations Jake and Kristy may have had on the subject of children. Did he ever actually say, "I never want to have kids."? Did they agree that the responsibility of birth-control would lie solely with Kristy? If a man doesn't want to have kids then he needs to get the vasectomy or wear protection or not have sex.
Yes, it's important for couples to discuss plans for children -- whether or not to have them, how they will be raised, etc. But we don't really know what their discussions were prior to their marriage.

Also, I think Kristy's anger was, in many ways, justified. He told Davis he and his "girlfriend" could stay when clearly Kristy was not up to having company... especially company that they didn't know. I also think it had more to do with Jake's reaction to the girlfriend. The man couldn't take his eyes off her and was practically drooling as he stammered over his words. Yeah, I'd be a little upset, too.

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[–] Kingvagabond 18 years ago

Kristy deliberately got pregnant without including Jake in the decision - for that the least she should do is give him a break. As far as the man being forced to have a vasectomy - what are you 9? If you decided you didn't want to have kids would you want to be forced to have your womb ripped out?

Kristy was drooling over Davis' girlfriend and Jake should have included Kristy in his decision but they're hardly anywhere near being on the same scale.

As always I apologise for my poor grammar' speeling and use of RanDOm cAPitaLS

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[–] frootos 18 years ago

She didn't deliberately get pregnant without including Jake. Actually, she didn't get pregnant for a while after that, not until after they both saw a fertility doctor, and were actively trying to get pregnant.

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[–] 18 years ago

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[–] CallMeSeverus 18 years ago

As far as the man being forced to have a vasectomy - what are you 9? If you decided you didn't want to have kids would you want to be forced to have your womb ripped out?

If I was absolutely sure I never ever wanted to have kids, then I would take the responsibility to make sure it never happened... I would not leave it up to someone else. It used to be the girl couldn't trust the guy to "take care of it" or "I'll pull out in time" (excuse my crudeness) But really, girls are just as guilty of "I'm on the pill" or "don't worry, if something happens I'll take care of it (abortion)" or "I wouldn't expect you to be involved"...

And no one is "forcing" anyone to get a vasectomy... I had said: If a man doesn't want to have kids then he needs to get the vasectomy or wear protection or not have sex. There were three options there... each with different pros and cons and each with a different level of preference.
...and I'm sorry, "forced to have your womb ripped out"? Is that really a fair comparison to a vasectomy? What are you? -- 9?

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[–] belldujour 18 years ago

I think the reason she got so angry with Jake is that she was so shocked they were not on the same page vis a vis Davis' trashy girlfriend. If my husband's best friend brought a woman like that to my house, I would assume from the start that my husband would recommend some good hotels in the area, and would never dream that he would invite them to stay with us.

As far as the comments about Kristy intentionally trying to get pregnant without Jake's okay- I completely understand what some people are saying about it being underhanded. My only argument in her favor is that Jake never said he didn't want kids at all, only that he wasn't ready, wasn't ready, wasn't ready. My husband was like that until I forced the issue, too, and while he was on board with me and I never would have deceived him like that, I can understand her frustration to an extent. And now, he wouldn't change a thing, just like Jake at the end of the movie saying that what he was looking for wasn't something to be found, but something to be made.

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[–] crystal_blu_3 18 years ago

Kristi didn't do anything underhanded at all. Jake knew that she was trying to get pregnant, they went to a fertility doctor for Christ's sake!

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[–] sullivanj5 18 years ago

Did you even watch the movie at all??? She did stop taking the pill BUT told him when she was having trouble getting pregnant. They both went to fertility specialist who said he had a low sperm count due to his underwear so he had to change to boxers. There's even a scene where he is hiding in the attic because he was tired of the "chore" of sex to get her pregnant since she was following the ovulation/temperature thing. She set up the pillows and gave him wine and said he could watch tv. Do you remember ANY of this, or you blocked out those scenes from your memory?

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[–] 18 years ago

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[–] Zando777 15 years ago

She stopped taking the pill without telling him -- he was under the impression she was taking the pill. Clearly an act of deception, and unacceptable.

When a guy is banging random broads, then yes, he needs to take proper precautions to avoid preganancy if he wants to avoid the possible consequences. (Or make sure the girl can't locate him.) But with his wife, he should be able to rely upon her honesty regarding her birth control practices.

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[–] erikdi01 18 years ago

Can you BE anymore retarded? I love how you put all the blame on the woman. If you had the ability to get pregnant and go through the pains of labor, you wouldn't be singing the same tune. Grow up

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[–] tmdlw 18 years ago

uh, i think the movie is called, "she's having a baby, not "damn, she tricked me into having a baby". can't anybody just watch a movie without over-analyzing? sheesh!

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[–] 18 years ago

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[–] raven872 17 years ago

Hmmm- Lemme guess... Deadbeat dad?

Your bitterness is very telling.

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[–] 17 years ago

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[–] tmdlw 17 years ago

What deception? What fraud? They were married before they got pregnant, right?Did they have a conversation where they agreed not to have children? Are we talking about the same movie?!

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[–] savageddreams 17 years ago

Yeah, seriously. A lot of people on here seem to have issues with the opposite sex. I wish people would just understand. Men are not evil. Women are not evil. PEOPLE are evil. Okay, not evil. Sometimes selfish, frustrated, and careless, not necessarily evil. People do and say things all the time that are deceitful, it's human nature. Men don't do it more than women, and vice versa. If you disagree, see a therapist. Simple as that.

As far as the original topic, I know that when I tell a friend or my siblings about an argument I had with my spouse, I can't tell them what precisely happened. If I'm upset, I'll subconsciously make myself sound like the good person, even if it was (mostly or all) my fault. HUMAN NATURE. Anyway. I'm lucky to have a spouse with similar views, and if we were confronted with a friend who brought over an extremely disagreeable... partner... we would probably tell them where the nearest motel is.

Dr. Cox: Newsflash, you can't drink and then come to work. You're not airline pilots.

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[–] queenhelly 17 years ago

Getting back to the original question, she blew her stack when he suggested Davis and his girlfriend stay over without first discussing it with Kristy. Then she has the nerve to tell him to promise not to get mad when she tells him she hasn't been taking the pill for 3 months. The point isn't whether or not he wants kids, it's about her doing something without consulting him that effects them both. She was furious about Davis staying over without her input, yet it's ok for her to work for 3 months on having a permanent resident in the house without at least letting her husband in on the plans ? Look at it this way, Jake wants to be a writer, would she have been cool with it if he said "hey honey, I quit my job 3 months ago, I've been working on a book every day when you thought I was working... don't be mad"

Anyway who cares, all I know is Alec Baldwin was such a hottie 20 years and 50 pounds ago !

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[–] erinker74 17 years ago

We should definitely disregard the entire movie, then... ;)

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[–] 17 years ago

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[–] Kastore 16 years ago

I think you make the best point (that hasn't been deleted, at least) and it really illustrates the double standard presented in the film.

Personally, and from a man's perspective, Jake was stupid and out of line to invite Davis and his girlfriend to spend the night. While Kristi used the opportunity to show her true potential as an hysterical bitch, Jake probably had it coming for thinking with his other head. Which only raises a further point that, in the given situation, just about the worst thing Kristi could have done was make Jake sleep elsewhere in the house. . . . .

But, Jake only made a decision that might have affected the couple for a single night. Kristi made a decision behind her husband's back that would have affected the couple for the rest of their lives. Why isn't Jake allowed to blow his top and punish his wife in some way for that? Instead, he eventually goes along with it? Something wrong with that picture.

If I ever go down, I hope I don't get the Potato Judge.

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[–] ebright99 15 years ago

My wife reacted the same way when Alec Baldwin slept over at our house. Women just have this "thing" about Alec Baldwin and his sleep-over habits.

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[–] drxcreatures 14 years ago

(My wife reacted the same way when Alec Baldwin slept over at our house. Women just have this "thing" about Alec Baldwin and his sleep-over habits.)

LOL

http://www.cgonzales.net & http://www.drxcreatures.com

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[–] Zando777 15 years ago

Most bitter deadbeat dads are that way b/c the woman misled the guy and deliberately got pregnant.

If women could be saddled with a life-long obligation they never asked for the way men are, they'd probably be singing a different tuen.

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[–] MelivaME 13 years ago

...Huh?
I am sorry, but in the case of this film if Jake really didn't want to get pregnant, he would have taken matters into his own hands. He would have worn a condom, or heaven forbid- told his wife he wasn't going to have sex unless she was on the pill. But he didn't. He went along with it to her face, while having a breakdown in his own head.
I do think her being off the pill for months without telling him is underhanded, and deceitful. But so is him drooling over every single woman in this film that isn't his wife. A huge subtext of this movie is about love and fidelity and to me its more of a comparison between how having a baby effected their love for each other.

And women CAN be saddled with a life-long obligation they didn't ask for. Not every nation, state, province etc. has liberal abortion laws.

'Cause we all end up in a tiny pine box, A mighty small drop in a mighty dark plot.

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[–] jones7418 12 years ago

LOL. It's just the way we women are sometimes!

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[–] Zando777 15 years ago

It seems he's only placing the blame on the woman in the instance where she deliberately deceives her husband.

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[–] tokyostreetkiller 11 years ago

Why should he have been wearing a condom if he was sure his wife was on the pill? Wasn't that the whole point in her taking the pill? Now if she said she didn't like the pill or something then sure, he should wrap it up. And of course it's a big deal for men, we don't want our pay to be garnished for the next 18 years regardless of what the mother makes or does. Yeah that's perfectly fair! lol But whatever, she should have told him about not taking the pill. She owed him that much, they are married after all.

Also, I didn't like how she made him sleep on the floor. Really? How childish is that? If my wife told me to sleep somewhere other than my bed I would tell her she's high. What gives women the right to think they can say stuff like that? I blame Oprah. We are adults, not 9 years old.

"Let's get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!"

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[–] 15 years ago

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[–] jmix66 11 years ago

The writer for this on must have been through a bad divorce.
He certainly doesn't like women....
Or didn't when he wrote this...

Bad films are a crime against humanity.

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[–] patrickbohn 8 years ago

The reason Kristy got mad at Jake for inviting Davis and his GF over is because she doesn't like Davis.

Remember the scene where she comes up to him and he tells her she's the only one he's ever loved, and tries to come onto her? There's a reason that didn't take her by surprise and shock her. Because she knows he's a total sleaze.

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[–] BlackDog123 8 years ago

That was obviously unacceptable. But prior to that - Davis was her husband's best friend. If she doesn't like him, fine, but to pressure her husband to completely cut him out of his life? I mean, Jeff allowed her to do this - but she could at least TRY to let him have a little freedom. Just because she wanted to settle down and act like she was in her fifties as a young woman doesn't mean her husband should have to act that way as well. When you truly love someone, you want their happiness. You don't throw tantrums and sulk until they feel beaten down enough to do what you want. My long time bf has some rowdy friends I don't care for - first off, I trust him not to end up at a strip club or in a ditch lol. Secondly, they hang out at a pub, so I can do my own thing when they're together - if I end up hanging with them, I can be pleasant (or I go home, or I chat with other people, etc). And thirdly, if someone needed to crash at my (giant) house (with three guestrooms), I would not throw a tantrum, I would talk to my bf later. He would do the same for me.

We are in our thirties with no kids (by choice) and not married so obviously we are selfish, deeply unhappy losers (according to this movie) lol.

They're coming to get you, Barbara!

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[–] patrickbohn 8 years ago

Davis was her husband's best friend

Because Kristy didn't tell Jake about it. My guess would be Jake would be none too pleased that his "best friend" was hitting on his wife.

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