MovieChat Forums > Mystic Pizza (1988) Discussion > Kat really wanted to bust that marriage ...

Kat really wanted to bust that marriage up didn't she?

posted 9 years ago by Jack2979
14 replies | jump to latest

Ok before everyone lectures me that Tim was the adult blah blah blah Cat was well aware that he was married and she never showed any sign that she felt guilty. Hell, she was giving him the eyes since day one. So they finally sleep together and they run into Mrs. Travers - her facial expressions were enough that she didn't have to scream "we slept together!!"

She said "he didn't say a word to me". Wth did she want him to say? " Uh Hi honey, I'm in love with Cat so you need to pack up your things and get out"..... She wasn't a little girl, she knew the deal but she didn't care at all. I couldn't sympathize with her at all. Tim did what was predicted - he never told her he was going to leave his wife. It was kind of creepy the way they both played house with Phoebe witnessing everything.

[–] Nia_J 8 years ago

I thought their relationship was beautiful...I was hoping he would leave his wife when I first saw this movie- about ten years ago- but now I see that probably won't have been unlikely

he is not the first man trapped in a marriage he doesn't want to be in..it's the reality that many couples do stay together for the kids or financial reasons without any love.

I hope he and Kat do reunite in the future and make a go of it they went beautifully together

[–] BrianT999999 8 years ago

Really? I thought he was a total scumbag. There's no real indication that his marriage is loveless; it's just that his wife isn't there, an attractive young woman is, and he goes for it. He never makes any attempt to apologize to Kat, and in fact when he comes buy to drop off some money for her at the pizza parlor, he even takes his daughter in with him, which conveniently means Kat won't blow up at him.

[–] Nia_J 8 years ago

I know this might seem a shock but not all
married couples are happy. But they stay together for the sake of kids, finances, society...etc

many lives have been wasted to conform to society expectations that people must stay together and those who want to be happy are banished to hell because divorce is the devils work and rubbish like that

as for bringing his daughter into the restaraunt at the end I presumed he wanted his daughter to say goodbye as she loved Kat and Kat loved her- it was to say bye to each other

he seemed an unhappy man who is 'doing the right thing' by his family and letting go of true love
and choosing the welfare of his child

what man could do more

[–] number9-4 8 years ago

many lives have been wasted to conform to society expectations that people must stay together and those who want to be happy are banished to hell because divorce is the devils work and rubbish like that

Amen. I get so sick of the kneejerk "Divorce is a tragedy"/"People who cheat are the scum of the earth" narrative.

I've known quite a few couples who went on to live much healthier, happier (separate) lives because one of them had the guts to say, "This isn't working" (including for the person who was left, not just the other way around). Now in those cases, to be fair, one person was not leaving the other to be with someone new. But if they had stubbornly clung to a dead romance from their school days any longer than they already did? I'm sure it certainly could have happened.

Personally, I shudder to think what my life would be like if I'd married one of the first few guys I *wanted* to marry...Some people just get luckier than others when it comes to the timing of meeting the right person. Some are never even tempted by infidelity because they end up with the right person the first time around; some don't, but are fortunate enough to find the right person after that first bad pairing dissolves on its own; and, of course, some already have issues within their relationship that make a new person the potential catalyst to end it, but not without a lot of drama and judgement along the way.

Of course, with this movie, there is a lot of debate over what Tim's intentions were in the first place (whether he was even remotely considering leaving his wife or was just a horndog). I think they left it a little vague on purpose, but I do believe Tim could have eventually had real feelings for Kat. It was a little early for any, "I'm so madly in love I'm going to leave my wife" business (I mean, how long did they know each other? Two weeks?), but I think it could have gone that direction. There obviously was an attraction, and apart from that, they had a lot in common and seemed to have a good mental connection, not to mention he saw that she meshed very well with his daughter, which I'm sure was endearing.

Then again, the way Tim stopped giving Kat the time of day (other than the money) once his wife got back in town makes it less believable that he had real budding feelings for her (what, did he just forget he had a wife because she was briefly away on business? The implication is sort of that he knew she was coming back, but just took advantage of the fact that she was gone. I think that's the contradiction that makes a lot of people judge him harshly -- he should have either been honorable in the first place and never cheated, or committed to the fact that he had growing feelings for Kat and not just cut ties with her as soon as his wife was back). But it also could have just been a plot device to make Kat have this coming-of-age ending.

I personally see Tim not so much as a jerk as someone who's kind of weak and wishy-washy; he probably isn't very happy with his wife, but he doesn't want to rock the boat by leaving her either. Of course, having a young daughter complicates things greatly, but the reason I'm hesitant to say that's why he didn't leave his wife is because he had the daughter all along, yet only stopped seeing Kat once the wife was back. If he had continued to cheat once the wife was back, it would seem more like it was just that he didn't want to lose custody of Phoebe.

[–] Rajesh_pimp06 8 years ago

I thought the wife was more attractive. I also think when the woman is a tad frumpy or homely looking people tend to give her a break like with Kat. Where as if it had been Daisy who was the one having the affair with a married man people would have called her a "slut" I don't see the difference to be honest. Both he and Kat were in the wrong. Kat is supposed to be the "intelligent" sister. Yet she acted like a complete ditz where this man was concerned.

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[–] jindaleemt 8 years ago

I don't think she planned anything. It all just happened naturally. Things like that just happen. Human beings cannot always plan everything or do what you're supposed to do all the time. Humans are emotional and physical. Not that Kat was very physically attractive in the movie. But things like this just happen. You can be committed to one person and become attracted to another person temporarily. But you have to watch out because you could get hurt, hurt other people involved, and maybe destroy something huge. If Tims wife found out their marriage could be over. It's really dangerous. At least Tim had the decency to give her money. It seems like an apology and compensation. Other men could be more irresponsible.

[–] QueenJackieB 8 years ago

Fortunately we have better brains than other animals...

She knew what she was doing. She didn't want to admit it and that's shameful.

I blame him mostly since she was a child in comparison and he was the one with the commitment. But she had a good upbringing and should have respected their marriage. She was just too naive to know how to deal with a grown man.

[–] Nia_J 8 years ago

firstly common sense and intelligence seldom go hand in hand

secondly attractive or not....one can fall for someone less attractive but be happier with them. also beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I personally don't think Brad Pitt is attractive at all- does that make him ugly? does that make me wrong? or maybe we are attracted to who we are attracted to and need not apologise for our preferences

thirdly....commitment does not mean one is happy. people get married for all sorts of reasons and not all of them to do with love. I am sure he really liked Kat....and what happened between them was a growing experience for her and possibly for him.

is she going to burn in hell for giving in to temptation? are u going to get a higher seat in heaven because u have never cheated and consider yourself on superior moral ground?

people cheat...doesn't make them bad people. we are all humans and to enjoy sex, to love,
to hurt, to loose, to move on, to love again...all
part of the growing and learning experience that makes life beautiful

[–] number9-4 8 years ago

is she going to burn in hell for giving in to temptation? are u going to get a higher seat in heaven because u have never cheated and consider yourself on superior moral ground?

people cheat...doesn't make them bad people. we are all humans and to enjoy sex, to love,
to hurt, to loose, to move on, to love again...all
part of the growing and learning experience that makes life beautiful

Very well said, Nia.

I realize that cheating on a spouse means betraying a vow, but at the same time, it's just like, how many people would really want to stay in a marriage blissfully ignorant when the other person wants out? It's a crappy situation either way, but the cheater just cannot win. Even if the person fully ended their marriage before even going on a date with another person, let alone multiple dates or getting physical, I'm pretty sure people would still judge them for that (if there were another person they were interested in, but hadn't actually cheated with yet). I guess they think people should always work to save a marriage, but I just don't find it realistic that every marriage is salvageable. The only difference between ending a relationship that's not working and ending a marriage that's not working is that, in one case, you're going back on a vow; but people have poor judgment about who they should be with sometimes, particularly if they're young, and I just figure, the spouse would probably rather not be seen as an obligation.

Also, if the judger *is* offended for religious reasons because marriage is supposed to be a sacred vow, then isn't it at least as bad of a crime to enter into a marriage without God, thereby secularizing something that's supposed to be holy?

[–] Nia_J 8 years ago

depends if people are religious. you can be religious and stick to your vows to salvage a marriage which is abusive. I have come across situations (as a social worker) where the father or mother are abusing the kids, even cases where woman forgive husbands for sexual abuse of the kids, because vows override any challenges. I am not religious (and neither are many couples who marry, they do so because it is the 'done' thing and societal expectations- particularly true for many Asian couples who marry to appease the family)...but for me, certain things in marriage are inexcusable and vows mean very little to me.
But not everyone shares my views, some people believe vows before God override moral code and even self respect...and that's there choice.
For me marriage is a commitment between two people to one another....one can be an atheist and have a higher moral code than someone who stands by God and does the most ungodly things. so when someone says they are devout religious I am skeptical as religion does not make good people...and lack of religion does not make bad people.
cheating can happen in all walks of lives and affect people differently...it's never pleasant but it happens, and will continue to happen...to those who believe in vows and those who don't.
as life is short and one should always aim to be happy- as unhappy parents make unhappy children- if a marriage is not working then it's always more Nobel and brave to walk away than try to salvage something that in the long run will destroy more lives and in the end, will be a wasted life.

[–] number9-4 8 years ago

I have come across situations (as a social worker) where the father or mother are abusing the kids, even cases where woman forgive husbands for sexual abuse of the kids, because vows override any challenges.

And that right there is a perfect example of why I find the concept of vows so problematic. All in the name of religion or just plain old stubbornness, some terrible unions that would make everyone more happy and psychologically healthy if they dissolved, can carry on for a lifetime.

I'm actually not sure I ever want to get married for that very reason (people don't leave when they want to because they took a vow, there's a complicated legal process, etc. etc.). I find it strange that so many people (mainly women, if we're being honest) see a vow as the be-all, end-all relationship goal. Look how many people take that vow and then change their mind anyway! If history has taught us anything, it should be that young people in particular are not necessarily good at choosing a partner who will fulfill them for a lifetime. Like I said in my earlier post, I would have happily married a few of my old boyfriends from my teenage/college days. But thank God I didn't!

[–] Nia_J 8 years ago

I don't believe in marriage either- will never want my kids to get married. they can live together have kids what not but never marriage...it's a religious hold over society to conform to what's right and wrong when religion itself has no idea

[–] Rjc189-729-270588 7 years ago

No she wasn't a little girl she was a coming of age teenager. Let's not forget real life and Monica Lewinski a twenty year old who actually believed the president of the USA.

[–] ExTechOp (2742) 6 years ago

Monica Lewinsky is an apt comparison

Tim (in this movie) and Bill Clinton were both older men who were smart, experienced and more than capable of gently discouraging young women who crush on them.

They're also both capable of playing to those crushes, grooming their admirers like modern internet predators.

This was a coming-of-age flick, so Kat had to learn her lesson as the plot required, but that's the whole point. She was learning a lesson Tim had already learned.

She's not blameless, just naïve. Tim should've known better (heck he probably DID know bette and just didn't care).