AFCW quotes = Your Faves


I keep watching this film as i taped it on my DVD recorded when it was on ITV (any american and canadian etc etc ppl will hafta research ITV, a channel we brits, scots and welsh have).

And now on with some of my fave quotes.

"Edoval Paticano" (with Kevin Kline looking down at JLC then biting her leg)
"The Ka....The Ka....The Ka" and so and so on lol
"ew! Avoid the green ones. They aren't ripe yet. HAHAHA!"

Those are just three of my fave quotes from this film :)

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When the choirboys sing "Canis Mortus Est" - so Python-ish!

Kevin Kline's random Italian is great as well - "Dov'e' la farmacia?", "Siamo alla Fontana di Trevi"...

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"You don't like us yanks, because we're WINNERS!! Not losers like you!"
"Winners? You mean like North Vietnam?"
"WE DID NOT LOSE NORTH VIETNAM!!"

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"I'm Mr Manfren..sen..gen.."

And when she then repeats his name perfectly - probably my favourite bit!



"I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs ..."

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Otto: "Eeeww! Avoid the green ones. They're not ripe yet. Ahahaha.... "

Otto: "Don't call me stupid"

Otto: "Aaassssssssshooooooooooooooooooooooooooole."

Otto: "Apes don't read philosophy"

Archie: "Look, Otto, look!"
Otto: "Hahahahaha...... it's K-k-k-Ken, c-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me. How are you gonna c-c-c-catch me, K-k-k-Ken?
Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. (Otto looks down and realizes he's stuck in concrete) Sh*t, *beep* limey cement!"

Otto: "Oh, it's you! I was actually worried there for a mintue."
Archie: "Keep your hands up!"
Otto: "No!"
Archie: "Put 'em up!"
Otto: "Uh-uh, I'll make a deal with you. I'll put one up."
Archie: "Put the other one up!"
Otto: "Which looks better?"
Archie: "I'm warning you, Otto."
Otto: "What are you gonna do, Archie? Shoot Me? Gut me down in cold blood like a dog? Hey! If you wanna settle something with me then why don't you fight me?! You're a man, aren't you, Archie? Then Lets fight like men! Come on!"
Archie: "Alright..."
Otto: "Alright then."
Archie: "Ok..."
(Archie puts the gun down on the floor)
Otto: "You look good, Arch."
Archie: "That's right, Otto. I used to box for Oxford."
Otto: "Oh yeah? I used to kill for the CIA."
(Otto picks up the gun)
Otto: "Now, get your hands up."
Archie: "No."
(Otto shoots two holes in Archie's suit, then Archie puts his hands up)
Otto: "Heh... you spineless bimbo. Now..... out."

I could mention a lot more but those are all I can remember that funny



Otto rules!




"If God is with us, who can be against us"

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Archie: Your brother didn't bring you here this time, did he?
Wanda: No.
Archie: He's no idea?
Wanda: He doesn't have a clue.
Archie: What?
Wanda: He's so dumb...
Archie: Really?
Wanda: ...he thought that the Gettysburg Address was where Lincoln lived.


Otto: I love robbing the English, they're so polite.


[Archie has put his gun down to fist fight with Otto]
Archie: I used to box for Oxford.
Otto: Oh, yeah? Well...
[Otto quickly picks up Archie's gun, and points it at him]
Otto: ...I used to kill for the CIA.


Otto: You really like animals don't you, Ken? What's the attraction.
Ken: Well, you can t-t-trust them and they don't sh-sh-sh-sh
Otto: *beep* on you?
Ken: Show off all the t-time.


Archie: [to Wanda] How could a bright and smart girl like you have a brother who is so...
Otto: [coming between them] Don't call me stupid!

Otto: Nice fish, Ken. You know what Nietzsche said about animals? "They were God's second blunder."


Wanda: I looked at the clock... because I was saying to myself... Its five to seven, where could he be going with that sawed off shotgun?


Archie: You're going to shoot me?
Otto: [in a pompous, English accent] Yep, 'fraid so, ol' chap! Sorry!


And now listen little child, to the man on crack

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Otto: Apes don't read philosophy
Wanda: No, Otto, they do (looks hard at Otto), they just don't understand it!

Wanda: ...and the London Underground is not a political movement!

Ken: The Ca...Ca...Ca...Ca...Ca...Ca...C...C...C...
Archie: Oh, for God's sake!

Otto:...you have great bones and dress really interestingly. Can I kiss you?
Ken: (without any hint of a stutter) Oh, no you *beep* well can't!

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Hi!
Could you explain to me what the "Gettysburg Address" part means?
What is the Gettysburg Address? There was a joke on the same topic in Singin' in the Rain - i didn't get it either.

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When Otto learns that the name of Archie´s daughter is Portia:
"Why does she have a car name?"

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The Gettysburg Address was a speech made by President Abraham Lincoln on 19 Nov 1863, when the National Cemetary at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania was dedicated.


You wouldn't know a joke if it got up and gave you a haircut - Edmund Blackadder

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"To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I know sheep that could outwit you! I've worn dresses with higher IQs!"

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This is so Blackadder and Basil Fawlty.

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Archie: You're quite the vulgarian, aren't you?

Otto: You're the vulgarian, you *beep*...

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Otto: Not you Ken you have a beautiful speaking voice, when it works.

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Too many to count. But I really love the scene at the end with Otto in the cement, Archie in the barrel and Ken driving the truck.

Otto: "YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS, KENNY!"
Kenny keeps driving towards him
Otto: "OKAY, OKAY, YOU HAVE THE GUTS!"


I love it when a plan comes together.

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Favourite line?

Kevin Kline distracts Stephen Fry at the airport by saying "Oh, look, the Queen."

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OMG, I forgot the *Oh look the Queen one*...
OMG, laughing too hard again!
But truly, my fave line?
When Archie looks at Jammie, and tells her she is the most beautiful (etc etc) girl he has ever seen.
I fell in love with Archie in that moment.
How this guy can go from humor to totallll sincerity in a heart beat kills me...! I mean he IS SO GOOD?
ANd he looks kinda cute with his underwear on his head too.
OMG, *laughing so hard*
When he grabs the pic, of the woman he is talking to, to sheild his privy parts, and with all the outrage and his court room voice telling them to GET OUT, hahahahahahahaha!

AUGURI!

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Otto: What does he want you to do, do her shopping, send her flowers, show her a good time… rub her out… He wants you to rub her out? He’s going to kill her ahahaha!!
Ken: Wh-what’s so funny?
Otto: Nothing, it’s just that wasting old ladies isn’t nice.
Ken: Well it’s better than b-b-b-buggering people.
Otto: I bet you a pound you won’t kill her.
Ken: Alright.
Otto: I love watching your @$$ when you walk, is that beautiful or what!? Don’t go near him… he’s MINE!

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Otto: You know your problem? You don't like winners.
Archie: Winners?
Otto: Yeah. Winners.
Archie: Winners, like North Vietnam?
Otto: Shut up. We didn't lose Vietnam. It was a tie.
Archie: [going into a cowboy-like drawl] I'm tellin' ya baby, they kicked your little ass there. Boy, they whooped yer hide REAL GOOD. []


"It takes more than going down to your local video and renting Easy Rider to be a rebel"

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XD!!!!!!!! OMG I completely forgot that! Funniest line right there!
"Don't go near him! He's MINE!"
Kevin Kline is a comic genius!

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Otto: SHUT UP! WE DIDN'T LOSE VIETNAM! IT WAS A TIE!
Archie: (in cowboy drawl) I'm tellin you baby, they kicked yer little ass there! Boy, they wupped yer hide REAL GOOD!

Otto: Hello, K K K Ken's P P Pets! Wake up blimey fish!

Guy: We mortaged this house last weekend.
Archie: Err well that changes things a little bit now, doesn't it.

Wanda: I knew the time because I was looking at the clock and thinking to myself, where could he be going at five to nine with that sawed off shotgun?

Otto: You don't have the guts to kill me...
(Ken keeps driving)
Okay, you do have the guts to kill me...

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all time favorite quote from this movie?..simple..

[says to a group of punks]
*beep* off, or i'll kill you.. LIMEY FRUITS!"

...........................................
"Has anyone ever buried a person up there?"

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Archie (in court): "WANDA!! I mean..I wonder..."

Later (sees wife in stands): "WENDY!! I mean...when did...you..."

And even later (when Wanda, testifying under Archie's cross-examination, goes and sticks knife in back of poor George): "...DARLING...!!"

After all the ensuing pandemonium inside the courtroom, Wendy comes up to Archie and says: "YOU CAN STICK THIS MARRIAGE UP YOUR BOTTOM".

So many such gems throughout this movie. And my favourite scene:

Following first encounter with Wanda, Archie drives off in his Jaguar with stars in his eyes and briefcase still on roof of car.

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I do love Kevin Kline's Italian sentences which are not connected at all and seem as if they are taken straight out of a phrase book.

Also, talking about Curtis' breasts, he says something like "i due cuppolo de la catedrale di Milano!"
(My apologies to anyone who actualæly speaks Italian, for my not being able to write it in any other way than phonetically!]

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His wife is the best.

"Oh now this is cracked!"

"Do shut up Portia."






Our garden back home is full of snails. We tried everything. We never thought of a Frenchman!

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Oh man, there are soooooooo many!

"Tell those two pigs to [beep] off."
"[beep] off, pigs."

"To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!" (I have used that line in real life!)

"I'm so sorry about my brother. I know he's insensitive. He's had a hard life. Dad used to beat him up."
"Good."

{After Otto fires into the safe)
"What are you doing?"
"I'm thinking!"

"I've lost my stutter. It's gone. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck can chuck wood."

(After Otto knocks Archie out)
"I'm sorry. Hey, wake up. I'm sorry. I was trying to help. I mean, how was I supposed to know it was you? I mean, what the [beep] were you doing robbing your own house? (Starts kicking Archie) Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I'm sorry!"

Of course, "Don't call me stupid."

Hee hee. [laughs]

Kat

When was the last time you heard these exact words: You are the sunshine of my life?

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Wanda's fake phone conversation...

Wanda: Oh my god. OH MY GOD! (hangs up dramatically) KEN! SOMEBODY JUST CALLED!

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Yeah. "SOMEBODY JUST CALLED!" Hee Hee Hee.

Kat

When was the last time you heard these exact words: You are the sunshine of my life?

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You pompous, stuck-up, giant, English, snotnosed, twerp, scumbag, *beep* dickhead *beep*

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"any american and canadian etc etc ppl will hafta research ITV, a channel we brits, scots and welsh have"

Brits, Scots and Welsh? The Scots and Welsh ARE British.


Of course they've brought forth juniper berries, they're juniper bushes!

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Brits, Scots and Welsh? The Scots and Welsh ARE British.


Good call ;)

All Otto related, of course!

"They get rigor mortis in the prime of life in this country!"

"She's a very sexy girl! Go ahead! PORK AWAY, PAL!"

(To Archie, as he lies unconscious after Otto has knocked him out thinking he's a robber)"How could I know it was you? I mean, how could you expect me to guess? You stoopid *beep* I mean what the hell are you doing, ROBBING YOUR OWN HOUSE!! YOU A**HOLE!! YOU STOOPID STOOPID A**HOLE!!! {Kicking Archie's body} Oops I'm sorry, I'm sorry!! Um... yeah." (Races from the scene)

(To Archie again, holding a gun to his nose) "I'm sorry I dangled you from the window, it was not a nice thing to do!"


"Oh no .. you will find that it is YOU who are mistaken, about a great many things!"

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