MovieChat Forums > Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988) Discussion > Obligatory Quotes Message Board

Obligatory Quotes Message Board


this film is chockfull of great quotes. here are a few of my faves:

freddy: "janet, don't make me crawl around you; this sand is too hot!"

aussie sailor in club: "oh, that piece of *beep*!"

janet: "you heard that story about his girlfriend and the dancer; how did that make you feel?
lawrence: "it made me physically sick!"

freddy/ruprecht: "oh lawrence this is the happiest day of my life! i think my testicles are dropping!"

lawrence: "do you want me to get the genital cuff?"

freddy/ruprecht" "oklahoma! oklahoma! oklahoma! oklahoma! oklahoma!"

freddy: "now that's a statue of a naked woman, and i can appreciate that, but if you think you can tell me how to spend my money, then you have got to be joking!"

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They're ....DANCING!!!!

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Who was she with?

Danny Terrio...of Dance USA

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"...He's so happy he's crying!"

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where Michael Caine announces he is getting married and Ruperict just says: 'Really!!!', and starts knocking the vases off the mantle piece. That bit just cracks me up!

When the butler says 'May i take your trident sir?'

and of course when Ruperict says 'Can i go to the bathroom?'


Probably the last genuinely funny film that Steve Martin made!




'left alone, in the dark, seeking out your lost soul.....'

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When Ruprect is introduced to Lawrence's future wives
Ruprect: Mother?
Lawrence: No Ruprect - not Mother.
Ruprect: Not Mother?

Whe sitting at the dining table wearing an eye patch and holding a fork with a cork on the end "to stop him from harming himself" stabs himself in the eye.


Comic genius. As for as I'm concerned the Ruprect and Lawrence sequence makes the film.

Hey! - Killer boots man

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I loved the line when Lawrence appears in Freddy's hotel room as "Dr. Schuffhausen."

"We'll take him back to my villa and I will really go to work on him." Also, the evil glare after he says it - it's one of my favorite scenes from ANY movie.

Also,

"To have an affair - zat eez French, to be caught, zat eez American!"

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Ruprecht- "Oklahoma!"
Ruprecht-(while poking himself in the eye) - ohhh...
Lawrence- "Do you want me to take out the genital cuff?"
Ruprecht- "not mother?"
Freddie- "They're DANCING!"
Lawrence- "If you keep banging on the pots, then you won't have any pots left!"
Lawrence- "Do you remeber what happened when Uncle Ted came to town?" (Ruprecht puts on a yellow rubber glove and smears some lube on it)

The best Steve Martin movie EVER.

Is life worth living for? I don't think so. Is death worth dying for? I don't think so.

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I argue that Dirty Rotten Scoundrels is the best Steve Martin film ever. Really, I truly believe that to be My Blue Heaven with Rick Moranis and Joan Cusack. It's a little known gem...the entire movie is quotable, lovable, and utterly scrumptulescent.

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Freddy: I've got culture coming out of my ass!

Lawrence: Do you ever have a single thought that originates from above the waist?
Freddy: No!

"Welcome to Hell."

Freddy: As my Gram-Gram used to say, it is better to be truthful and good....than to not.

Freddy: Oooooh, LADY Fanny from Omaha.

Lawrence: She doesn't have the money.
Freddy: She does have the money.
Lawrence: Only by selling off everything she owns.
Freddy: Well, she's keeping the mink!

Freddy (moaning & laying in the hall): I heard the music so I pulled myself up the stairs and dragged myself down the hall. And here you are.....DANCING!!!!!

(Freddy banging pots and yelling "Oklahoma, Oklahoma...")
Lawrence: Ruprect will just love Oklahoma! Lots of open spaces for him to run.

Lawrence: Do you remeber what happened when Uncle Ted came to visit?
(Ruprecht puts on a rubber glove and applies lube)
Lawrence: Noooooo. After that. We apologize.

Freddy: James Jessington! Forrest Lawrenceton! Lawrence Jesturton!
(stomps foot in frustration)

Some of those are paraphrased, but close. I love this movie! I ran to watch it in the threater after I saw the trailer, (where Steve Martin pushes an old lady into the water). A few years later, I turned my dad on to this movie and he absolutely loved it. Both this movie and The Jerk are 2 movies I will always remember watching countless times with my father, rolling in laughter. Good stuff!

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Lawrence: Do you ever have an emotion that originates above the waist?
Freddie: ...No!

"Take the boat, swear to me, never to tell. The secret you know, of the Angel in Hell."

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Okay, seriously, best line ever-

"To be with another woman, that is French; to be caught, that is American." Said with the appropriate amount of French disgust for the dumb American scoundrel, there just isn't a more classic line in the move.

Everything our parents said was good is bad- sun, milk, red meat, college.-- Annie Hall

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