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Best Anti-Commie Anti-Arab Anti-Everything Movie Ever


What a film.

1988 - Guns'n'fn'Roses were riding high on an appetite for destruction, Poison were opening up and saying "Ahhhhhhhhhh!" and Bush the Elder was just about to replace the Ray Gun in the Oval Orifice. Great days indeed. But hang on... What we needed then was another B grade Rambo remake just to remind us that that we still had 2 more years of the 80's to live through... Enter the human beer bottle opener that is Gary Busey as "McBain" (another one?? No, you're thinking of "McClane") AKA "Bulletproof". Max Headroom would be chuffed.

What I (dis)like most about this film, apart from it being possibly the worst I have ever seen in my entire life, is that it appears to have introduced the next bad guy into the International (I mean United States) catalog of baddies... In 1988 we all knew that the Commies only had a matter of months before their international demise. We needed someone else to vilify for another half century (and by "we" I'm including Australians here - I'm one). We needed a new enemy. Oh - hang on. If the Eastern Europeans and Ruskies are coming over to our side who will we use??? How about the Mexicans? OK - but they're not really that threatening. We need Commie Mexicans, with Arabs. Comexicarabs. Are you serious? Sure! They're all gonna be the new villains of the 21st century - lets get the US masses used to them now (circa 1988)!

Whatever about vilifying Commies and Mexicans, it's the complete contempt of Islam that really stood out in this movie for me. For example, Commie to 'evil Muslim north African' terrorist type ally, "Damn your Allah!" or the very forgettable yet lovely blond Busey love interest and rescue target to 'evil Muslim north African' terrorist type captor, "To hell with your joke of a God"... mmmmmmmmmm. Sorry script writers, forgettable blondie actress and viewers, is that the same God that Abrahm/Abraham (wasn't a US tank named after him??) prayed to in the Old Testament. I mean, the one that both Christ and Mohammed professed about? We all knew that the Commies were Godless, but what about God fearing Americans?

However, Busey is so hilarious as Frank "Bulletproof" McBain, I could almost forgive the complete xenophobia of the script. A jobbing actor if ever there was one (and I have to say that there is nothing wrong with that - if you're doing something you love and getting paid, more power to ya), McBain, I mean Bulletpro... I mean Busey, presses the ham firmly next to the cheese in this sandwich of cliches and one liners. To illustrate, calling every baddy "butthorn" or being tied to some disused electrical wire pez-dispenser wheel of torture by the baddies and being ridiculed by his blond, love interest rescue target, about where the rest of the cavalry is, to which he quickly and cooly retorts something like "We couldn't get them on the phone"... she ends up kissing him within about 30 seconds.

Or possibly the best, captured priest to pretty blondie, "Why do they call him 'Bulletproof'?", "Because he's lucky".

There's a great review about this movie on IMDB already - something like "The best or worst comedy I've ever seen". I don't really think I can top that.

Sit back, relax, grab a Tab and think about the 70s, grab a New Coke and remember the 80s. Whatever you do, don't take this film as seriously as this supposed review does... you'll waste you're time. Just remember; the Commies are evil, Arab Muslims must be evil (this movie says so) and it's OK to kill with impunity with Uzi sub-machine guns and a *beep* tank that the producers of Thunderbirds (I mean the original puppet version, not the rubbishy film remake) would have rejected... hop on your Harley and ride into your next Motley Crue video.

I particularly love the sexy sax outro mixed with classic jangly 80's synth keyboard and drum machine played over the credits... How I miss the 80s.

Overall 80's schlock rating for this film - 11/10.

PS - you can see how sad plastic surgery can be at http://www.myspace.com/therealbusey



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LOL awesome review. Gotta check it out... thanks

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I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long

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they also show the american CIA as being bad too, so there!

"baby you can drive my car, and baby I love you... *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* yeah!"

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I liked the movie, the 80's were a great time, wish we could go back to them.

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[deleted]

[deleted]

another 300 boys and girls just kidnapped in Nigeria....granted that's central Africa...

What have Muslims done for YOU recently?

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Quite a few think Allah is really Satan

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