Things I Learned From 'Above the Law'

11) "A guy at Princeton" has a bigger database than the CIA.

12) Police officers give Nico their police-issued pistol when his police-issued pistol has been taken away, even though Nico has bags of weapons.

13) Morally upright police officers are more than happy to destroy shop windows for the sake of an interesting scene outside.

14) Trained assassins use the same weapons that third-world guerillas living below the poverty line use. They also wear suits while on the job.

LOL Funny... especially the aging point.

1. I learned that Steven Seagal is a terrible actor who has shifty eyes.

2. I learned that Steven Seagal has the same facial expression throughout the entire movie.

3. I learned that Steven Seagal weighed like 170 lbs. in this movie, then put on like 200 lbs. over the next 8 years.

4. I learned that if Jean-Claude Van Damme starred in this movie, it would probably be even worse.

(Yeah, mine aren't as funny... whatever! LOL)

1.If you so much look at seagal funny, youre *beep* thats it.

Even the most primitive society has an inate respect for the insane

It was on AMC again the other day. "AMC" stands for American Movie Classics, and apparently they're pretty liberal with their definitions.

1) CIA agents who are involved in illegal drug trafficking routinely discuss their narcotics business in front of people they've never met before.

2) Real knife-fighting involves holding the knife with the blade facing you, not the other guy.

3) Having the unarmed hero thrash the knife-wielding head villain in the first ten minutes sort of defuses the tension when they meet again later.

4) In Chicago, the El trains always run on schedule, even when there are guys in adjacent trains shooting at each other.

5) Even in the US, CIA agents routinely chase local cops through crowded public places with guns blazing. If underworld drug lords are involved, they can tag along without raising any suspicions.

6) In Chicago, if you live in an apartment with El tracks running directly below your window, you're allowed to jump on top of passing trains and ride for free.

7) The Chicago police department was built with non-union labor, which is why the walls almost fall over when someone slams a door.

8) Breaking the law is bad, but breaking the law to stop other people who are breaking the law is good.

Thingyblahblah,

Rule A : Everyone loves to whine about Seagal movies.
Time for some cheap role reversal.

1) If you're the hero and director, you never age at all. When you're 22 years old, you'll look like you're 40, and you'll never have to sit for hours while some fag applies age make-up.

2) The best way to train yourself in Aikido is to be the person repeatedly beating the hell out of other Aikido students you practice on.

3) A CIA rouge ran the Vietnam Drugs, secretly controls the drugs, and can get to any drugs at any time, that's why he was too stoned to look up an address in the phone book to find out where he lives.

4) CIA assassins receive absolutely no training in marksmanship or hand-to-hand combat since the Church commission, because that would be dangerous and bad. Instead they are top secret undercover operatives on deadly missions at Langley behind a desk with names like Valerie Plame, mother of two bouncing baby twins.

5) There are no legal consequences for kidnapping a federal agent, stealing his pants, and making him jump into Lake Michigan, because they're so egotistical they would never report it, and likely fdrowned since a Langley desk job never teaches flotation or swimming.

6) When you're jumping through a plate glass window, go head first, shoes don't matter.

7) In a shootout, if you have a choice between going for a gun or throwing your shoe at your opponent, the shoe is never the smart choice, unless you were really trained like Maxwell Smart was, back in the day.

8) When the CIA plans to kill a US Senator, they have to bring in a sleazy local bar owner..., like they did when they killed JFK and Jack Ruby the sleazy bar owner shot the fall guy Lee Harvey Oswald. The CIA never changes.

9) Plastic ties are a great way to restrain someone, they use them at Abu Ghraib. And if you're tied down with them, you lucked out and won't be tortured.

10) Anyone can whine about a movie, and they usually do, after they watch the whole thing, the second or third time.

Now the bonus series:

11) Chicago cops love black officer ladies in pink outfits, they all want to "do her". President Lincoln was from Illinois too, there's something in the water.

12) There's a lot of Vitalis hair oil in the Windy City, and Nico owned 51% of the company post production.

13) In the armpit of the Midwest, "boys in the choir" means nefarious criminal elements. The bible belt this isn't.

14) Illegal immigration was supported by the church basements 20 years ago, this crap today is nothing new.

15) Priests in Chicago are tough #$%ks, with smart mouths, and hollywierd spoke truth to power in their movies even in 1988.

Nothing else yet because the movie isn't half over.

1. we are an empire like the romans, we kill our senators.
2. when italians and blonde anglos have badies they look puerto rican.
3. the 80's ruled

so LMFAO!!!

"It's just so big!"

1) their will never be another action hero quite like seagal.

2) seagals martial arts teachings

3) one of the most charasmatic stars thats ever grace the silver screen..(he will grace it again like fire and oil)

4) best close range fighters ever cause he wont giv u any room or space to attack him. he finish ya off.

5) very stylish and impeccably best dressed people in hollywood

6) his political views and judgement about the government and cia which was good to c someone showing what corruption we have in the world today

7) their is only one steven seagal (their is no next steven seagal)

8) seagal first and daylight second.

9) seagal is very cool, calm and very deadly fighter.

10) fight scenes are very realistic.

11) it is very difficult in choregraph aikido in fight sequence cause if the stuntmen dont react and can fall properly could injured, paralised or killed

note... aikido can do serious damage to anyone

lol...
"I too have seen the top of her head" classic