Best speech

[caption saying "A party broadcast on behalf of the conservative party. Image of Gazza crying, sad music, fade to Alan behind a desk.]

Who in this country was not moved when that great Englishman, Gazza, wept bitter tears at the World Cup last year? People thought that he was cring because he had been booked by the umpire, and so would miss the final. But that was not the reason. He was crying at the thought that the Conservative government, the only government this young hero had ever known, was behind in the opinion polls. He was weeping at the threat of the return to power of a Labour rabble led by a bald Welsh windbag, dedicated to destroying Britain's prosperity, running down our currency, encouraging satanist abuse of our children, spreading Aids through their sponsorship of homosexual behaviour, abolishing the House of Lords and executing the royal family. Gazza didn't want that for his children, do you want it for yours? Or do you want a government that lets you share in Britains prosperity by offering you the chance of five, yes five, free Sun jackpot bingo cards with every registered Tory membership application. Yes, apply now to join the Tory party at this week's once in a lifetime special offer price of only £9.99 and you will receive a free Tarzen Teenage Hero Turtle T-shirt, a gazza car tidy, and the news of the world every Sunday for a year. But don't join the Tories simply because we are right, lets listen to what young Britons have to say...

It cuts two two thugs in a junk yard who seem to be either reading off a cue card or something similar (I forget what they had to say). And then it cuts back Alan to finding out what the "working women" has to say [two page 3 girls with T-shirts saying Torrie instead of the sun], one messes up her lines and Alan corrects her. Very, very funny stuff, Rik Mayall is priceless.

ThE MaStER wOuLd NoT ApPrOvE- Torgo

I like the one in "Friends of St James" actually, where he says: "In the past, you were poor, you got ill, and you died, But people nowadays seem to think that they have some God-given right to be cured!?"

Etc, etc

"I'm the Dandy Highwayman!!!"
~All that really matters is your manners and physique~

No I did not say I oppose abortion. What I said is I oppose the so called ‘woman’s rights to choose’. It should be the state’s right! Ugly stupid poor people should not be allowed to have children.

And of course Profit of Boom
“whatever people demand you must supply, hang the consequences turn all the rainforest into hardcore porno mags, give Ben Elton something to write a new play about’ I love the rest of the speach in that episode to "Marx is Dead God is Dead my the Market is Imortal!

When he's high in Friends of St James is a definate best.

Formerly cactusx + Grant_Mitchell