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things learned from watching Garfield and friends


1.) Never leave a baby outside in an unattended shopping cart if you forgot to buy eggs.

2.) Garfield and Friends is the place where fun never ends

3.) An alligator cheese sandwich made from an alligator named Cynthia on Rye bread with 76 caraway seeds per slice with lettuce picked in Northern Bolivia on Memorial Day and a pickle in the shape of Muncie Indiana is a common type of sandwich

4.) There are NO dinosaurs in Cinderella

5.) Everyone eats Lasagna

6.) If you ever disagree it means that you are wrong

7.) Wyoming doesn't exist

8.) Certain pigs like to take showers

9.) If you're a bookworm and start to read, the books will come to life

10.) Nobody has ever heard of record players

Don't Genius Live in a Lamp?-Patrick Star

BAZINGA!--Sheldon Cooper

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11. Not to let Garfield "paint you"

12. Kicking Odie off of tables can be multicultural

13. No Ninjas in Rumplestiltskin

14. There are only two kinds of problems. Those you can't solve, and those you can. No sense worrying about the ones you can't solve, and no sense worrying about the ones you can.

15. When reading, try not to let your imagination get carried away with someone else.

16. The most annoying thing in the world is dogs.

17. Slobbering over a certain comic is a felony in some places.

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18. Abu Dhabi is a far commute for any kitten that is too darn cute

19. Kittens that are boys can be very girly

20. You can get real food for 7 dollars

21. Anchovies on pizza should be a felony

22. Carpet tacks are an interesting enough thing to get their own TV documentary

23. Lasagna can be made into a cake

24. If you try to use a cute kitten to get good "take out" food, it won't really work because the owner will just take the kitten inside.

25. If you see a cute kitten, give him a 7 course meal

26. If a cat is too ugly, give him a bag of disgusting garbage to throw away

27. Raisins are really shrunken bowling balls

28. If you want to throw an annoying house guest out, either make it seem like he's an ingredient in the dinner, or call their strict spouse.


"I've heard better comebacks from a turkey sandwich. Get a life!"

BAZINGA!!!!

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[deleted]

37. Coat hangers are also interesting enough to get their own documentary.
38. Slurping is a felony.
39. Puppies are strong enough to bury cars in the backyard.

Let's get dangerous!

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40: If you've seen it on television... IT MUST BE TRUE!
41: You're not Sylvia, you're one of those Kung-Fu Creatures On The Rampage...
42: It's getting harder and harder to earn an honest buck these days!

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43. My mind mulls many malicious malfeasance. Mayhaps mean and menacing Margarine Man burgled Big Bo's bitter butter for better biscuit batter.
44. Wade is too young to be pummeled and harmed by an ape that wants to tap dance in his potato salad.
45. You will lose all your feathers during a total eclipse on Arbor Day while listening to the Marine Corp Band playing "Home on the Range" and watching a badminton match between two guys named "Ichabod."
46. Garfield cannot read your lips if they don't move.
47. You need a lot of I.D. to get a membership to a video store, including a license, references, and a picture of you in a zebra costume.
48. No two people in history have ever been able to agree on a pizza topping.
49. Binky could be in Congress if they didn't have enough clowns already.
50. Every mini mall has a croissant and/or soft frozen yogurt stand.
51. Frank's Croissant and/or Soft Frozen Yogurt stand's service-by-number system sucks.
52. Bullies are really not intimidated by the "stuffed vulture" position.

I came. I saw, and I came again.

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53. THE BUNNY RABBITS IS COMING!!!
54. NEVER forget where you park..... aisle K, level 17, blue

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55. Aloysius Pig predicted the end of the series (the show was cancelled due to budget cuts.)
56. Aloysius Pig hates PBS! (He said he hated Masterpiece Theater, so..
57. All of the moms on the show have big butts and big breasts.
58. Even though they are pigs, Orson's ear look like bunny ears, and Aloysius' look like puppy ears.
59. Orson doesn't know Aloysius is his cousin.
60. Aloysius likes donuts and pizza.
61. The Spanish Aloysius Pig speaks in incorrect grammar and is a crybaby.
62. Roy, Lanolin, Orson, Wade, Aloysius and the Buddy Bears can use the bathroom.
(They either farted, showed panties, or their butt hole in an episode or two)
63. U.S. Acres takes place in the present day (In one episode, Wade says it's 2004.)
64. Wade's grandfather is dead.
65. Binky the Clown sings obnoxious songs.
66. It starts with just a little thing no one would miss at all. What possible, perceivable harm can it do to break just a little law? What harm can it do? What harm can it do? What harm can it do?
67. In the early episodes, Wade can't sing well, and when he finally does sing well, he either says "into the something something I don't know" or makes an "Eeeh..." noise.
68. Oh, we're the ants who ruin your dinner, we're always here to mess up any day! When we're around, every camper gets thinner and if we get the chance, we will take your food away!
69. Orson sounds evil when he punishes people.
70. The reason why Orson was scared of Aloysius in Kiddie Korner was that he was the one who killed Snow Wade.
71. Any kind of paper on U.S. Acres looks like toilet paper.
72. The moon and the stars is a superstition.
73. Aloysius' mom is voiced by Kevin Meaney with her voice pitched up 12%.
74. Imaginary Lanolin is naughty. She clutches her breasts and shows her undies.
75. The episode "Snow Wade and the 77 Dwarves" is educational because it teaches kids adjectives, hence it being popular among ESL class pupils.
76. Orson hates radios.
77. Nermal and Orson are the only characters who sang "We're Ready To Party!"
78. If someone steals your idea, sue them!
79. To avoid getting arrested, tell bad jokes!
80. The TV station in U.S. Acres is called NORM-TV.
81. Aloysius pulls objects out of his butt.
82. Aloysius has a pet goat.
83. Aloysius Pig is off-model 50% of the time.
84. Aloysius stands on his desk to throw at his dartboard.
85. Garfield and Friends is taped in front of an animated studio audience.
86. It's great to have a lobster around the house!
87. Dogs can be mistaken for baby dolls.
88. Ahu Duabi is full of red Nermal clones.
89. Fix a TV in Japan, and you'll get Japanese programming.
90. There was a U.S. Acres movie that only played in Muncie, Indiana.
91. Wade only knows a few famous Shakesphere lines.
92. Lanolin can't cry.
93. Lanolin inspired female characters with western accents like Mirabelle Haywood.
94. "Hiya Hunn" was supposed to air in the 8th season.
95. Shelldon hates Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
96. If you flush guppies down a toilet, they will guest star on Muppet Babies.
97. Whatever your name is, you're still the nice same person.
98. Eat and be lazy, and you'll get your own show.
99. Wade's heart can be seen when he's nervous.
100. Friends will care for you!

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101. It's not superstition or just plain luck that makes things turn out the way they do.
102. A black cat crossing your path is bad luck if it's a puma.
103. A huge puma surplus = one puma
104. Roy will never buy another stereo from a horse.
105. Roy operated on a patient for $900.
106. What did the patient have? $900
107. What did Roy remove from him? The $900
108. What was the patient's complaint? The $900

My God, he was innocent!
He went to the chair two years ago, Frank.

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109. Wade wants to be brave, but that scares him too.
110. Never trust the paper here under the sofa.
111. The paper underneath the sofa lists penal code number 7756, which is to not remove it, as it is a LAW LABEL. Ooh-woo-woo-woo-woo!
112. The penalty for removing the paper underneath the sofa is 9,999 in prison.
113. The U.S. Acres gang goes to bed at nine.
114. No John Wayne Impersonations and No Yogurt are allowed at showings of Wanted: Wade.
115. Power Pig can't decide on an introduction phrase.
116. The bull poops itself in fear.
117. The mystery guest isn't a raisin and it isn't painted blue.
118. If you steal a cow, the penalty is getting hit with a pie.
119. Parrots can do celebrity impersonations.
120. Cats can take care of human babies
121. Wade can't talk properly. He mispronounces words like "Good evening" as "Grevening" and "pointy" as "pwonity".

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122. If you're bad at handling money, you wind up in Washington.
123. Deja vu is the sensation of doing something that you have done before.
124. Deja vu is the sensation of doing something that you have done before.
125. Two tens for a five...two tens for a five. Five into ten goes twice carry eleven divide by nine... WAITO UNO MOMENTO!
126. Some of the animators of this show, almost make $100 a week, according to Aloysius.
127. Kissing the girls and making them cry, that's not right!
128. Garfield can't write himself into any situation without it ending in him eating lasagna and taking a nap.
129. Watch the way you interrogate those chickens. They can change those buck buckaws at the drop of a hat and change their story!
130. An actual dinosaur will be considered cute and worthy of having it's own kid's show if it's painted pink. If the pink paint is gone, all bets are off.
131. People who live in a glass house *bum bum* Get embarassed...a lot.
132. THAT WIND-UP MOUSE!
133. Crickets are actually horrible consciences.
134. Pinocchio the book didn't end so well for Jiminy Cricket...
135. After 25 years, this is still the best cartoon show I've ever seen.
136. Learning to double talk is easier than falling off a murf. It's guaranteed for seven fermuts or twenty thousand gordniks, whichever comes first.
137. The best revenge on a prankster is to do absolutely..NOTHING!
138. It is required by law that all cartoon chases have the paint a tunnel on a wall joke.

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139. "Gorsh" is Samoan for "splut"
140. "Por favor mia dia die centriolina" is Italian for "Please pass the pickles"

Now I am off to Emmett's Fix It Shop...to fix Emmett

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141. It's a rule that if you're an astronaut your name has to be Buzz.

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142. Always grow a jungle in your lawn for pizza men.
143. Cute kittens can make you lose your appetite.
144. I wage my horse, the Klopman Diamond and the Mayor of Davenport Iowa.
145. Every Milkman from East Moline Illinois has his own talk show.
146. Oatmeal works as quicksand.
147. Switch your friend's nose around if you are going to sneeze.
148. Living with Boopsy is better than eating Jon's dinner
149. A chick in his shell has a lot of space inside.

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150. Even if you go miles and miles away to finally eat your mom's cookies, just one bite will still awaken your gluttonous cat, even if he's wearing earmuffs

151. If Binky continues singing, Edna Fogerty won't make it to 98

152. Matzo balls in the dryer lint trap is outrageous

153. Spending tons of money for home repairs will make you sound like a sputtering motorboat

154. When the sign says don't pull the rope, do NOT pull the rope!

155. When you toss a huge picnic of food up in the air, it can turn into a giant submarine sandwich

156. If your croquet ball lands in the irrigation ditch, just do a little digging and it will float over towards the croquet stick

157. Ice machines in the freezer have a blizzard function

158. If you are trying to go 5 minutes without eating, several people will offer you free food

159. There can be drive thru lasagna restaurants in the middle of the woods

160. If you own an all you can eat buffet, always avoid fat orange cats because they can clean you out

#pennygetyourownwifi

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