1)Never trust a defecting Russian General who kisses you on both cheeks every five minutes.
2)Boom boxes are armed and dangerous.
3)Never try to separate a girl from her cello. It will not end well
4)Cello cases make excellent toboggans.
Next?
5) You shouldn't fall down or get up unless told to
6) Karachi has a good restaurant
7) Pickett's charge was up Cemetery Ridge, not Little Round Top
8) People with an Oxford education are more likely to use theatrics
10)Siberian gulags have great orchestras.
11)Just because you're a great cellist, it doesn't mean you can also fly Hercules airplanes.
12)MI6 agents are not big Barry Manilow fans.
13) Sticking your head in boobies renders you completely deaf
14) Safehouse agents don't require codenames or ID when communicating via radio
15) Some agents need to sneak missiles in to ghettos
16) It requires no time, effort or planning to drive from London to Bratislava on a whim
17)Beware of KGB female assassins who can strangle you using only their thighs or blow you up using an explosive teddy bear.
18)Never piss off the leader of the Snow Leopard Brotherhood.
19)Never accept a Martini from a gullible cellist.
20)The best way to smuggle diamonds out of Morocco is to mix them in with some ice cubes that are surrounding a beating "heart"
21) Soft-nosed bullets are for wimps
22) Bratislavan toilet sweepers can't mind their own business
23) Listening to "The Pretenders" on repeat can invoke extreme violence
24) Hessian sack material gives perfect sound-proofing from loud electronic beeping
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28: The Siberian philharmonic orchestra has a bourgeois repertoire
29: A face-shield above a gun makes it physically impossible for any shooters to aim for your body instead
30: Ditzy cello players are happy to pretend to be snipers, poison cocktails, fight trained army personell whilst horse-riding, open cargo-bays whilst flying Hercules planes and skilled enough to dress cello cases to look like people in a matter of seconds
31: A bunch of people on horseback are able to overtake a Hercules cargo plane
32)Within one minute of telling your friend on the phone that you can't meet a good man while you're sailing around the Strait of Gibraltar, a gorgeous MI6 agent literary drops from the sky into your boat.
33)Explosive keychains come in real handy when you're inside of a Russian Army Base in the middle of Afghanistan.
34)Don't shoot! You'll hit the plane!
35)MI6 and Bond are cool with supporting the Taliban.
Never follow a hippie to a secondary location, Lemon.
-Jack Donaghy
36)Mujahedeen Deputy Commanders of the Eastern District and some of their men often have trouble getting themselves (and their horses) through customs at the Paris airport.
37)I only kill professionals.
38)There is always enough time for a sniper to make "Strawberry Jam!" of someone's brains.
Never follow a hippie to a secondary location, Lemon.
-Jack Donaghy
39)If another man claims that I am not Russian...then his friends won't kill me on the spot. Not now, anyways... but what about later? Perhaps I'll be saved for the harem?!?
Never follow a hippie to a secondary location, Lemon.
-Jack Donaghy
40)Brad Whittaker met his Waterloo.
41)It's a good thing for General Pushkin that James Bond is a good shot.
42)KGB snipers usually wear body armor.
43)This is a mission, not a fancy dress ball!
Laugh while you can, Monkey Boy!
44)Enemy agents relish the chance to send secret notes just before cutting their intended victim's rope. (SMERt' SHpionam)
45)M has a fully furnished office... with stacks of paperwork everywhere... in the back of a cargo plane... for some reason.
Never follow a hippie to a secondary location, Lemon.
-Jack Donaghy
46)Milk bottles are weapons of mass destruction.
share47)Station V = Vienna... I guess MI6 has no stations in... say Venice! SMH.😉
Never follow a hippie to a secondary location, Lemon.
-Jack Donaghy
48)Cellos named The Lady Rose cost $150,000.
49)If your Russian General boyfriend tells you that an arms dealer is a patron of the arts, he's lying.
50)Who knew that you can send a Russian General to Moscow in the diplomatic pouch?
51)"Salt corrosion" was a real problem in the former Soviet Union.
52)ALWAYS declare your musical instruments at the ANY border!
53)DON'T SHOOT!... if you could potentially hit an aircraft.
Never follow a hippie to a secondary location, Lemon.
-Jack Donaghy
54)Don't ever meet James Bond at a cafe inside a Vienna carnival. It will not end well.
Laugh while you can, Monkey Boy!
55)The best way to smuggle defecting Russian Generals out of Czechoslovakia is to hide him in the trunk of your car.
share56)MI6 station chief's have no idea how to use night vision goggles.
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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .
That Fast & Furious 6 isn't the only movie with a very long runway.
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