100 things we learned

1. If I ever have a 'orpan' friend sliced by a sword I should drag him thru dirty water.


If I'm dragged down from my perch and beat up, I won't let go of my beer can until I'm finally knocked out.

"Have a good time. ALL the time. That's my philosophy Marty"


When sparring with your friends, make sure to move so slowly that anyone could counter it.


- orphans have parents.

- that ninjas can easily kill a bunch of smg wielding mobsters, but can't beat up an unarmed and terribad rock band.


they don't make buns like that at the bakery!


If you're a creepy Asian dude living with 3 single guys, you'll feel the need to feed each one grapes out of your hand.


Playing the electric guitar is not a discipline of Taekwondo


- No matter how thick your accent is, everyone else will understand you perfectly.

- Boss ninjas can transform into white guys during battle.

- Taekwondo is a way of life.

- It's easier for an assailant to pour beer on your head if you lean forward.

- Your girlfriend will understand if you have to kill her brother.

- Only through the elimination of violence can we achieve world peace.


--Ninja armies, when fully dressed for stealth combat, will move about on public roads, in broad daylight, on standard consumer motorcycles.

--Friends will come out on top because they play to win.

--The UCF is apparently a place I need to avoid at all cost.

--Whenever I'm home, whether alone or not, I need to walk around shirtless with the buttons/zipper of my pants completely undone.

--When my close friend receives an important personal letter and accompanying photo, I need to immediately jerk them out of his hands to gawk at them.

--When my close friend receives good news, I need to hoist him up on my shoulders and parade him around the yard like we just won the Super Bowl.

--Central Florida police officers are not too committed to their jobs. ("Where'd everybody go?" "I dunno. Let's get out of here.")

--Carefully parking your car while your friends get pizza can get you killed.

--Throw in some biker gangs for extras in your "film production" and you're sure to talk some half-drunk skanks into going topless.

"Rampart: Squad 51."


Taekwondo originated in Korea. Eberyone practice Taekwondo there.
If you're really good at taekwondo, you can pinch a guys nose with your toes on stage.

They're dead meat!

Maurice Smith is a great fighter, trainer, UFC Champion,a d pioneer in MMA.........horrible actor.

Remember, use the magic twig wisely


If someone tells you to leave their sister alone, *leave* *her* *ALONE*!


Especially if you're her FRIENDS.

Philo's Law: To learn from your mistakes, you have to realize you're making mistakes.


if you're gonna eat at Uncle Song's restaurant, you better pay your bill and you'll get your ass kicked


Florida swamp water may be the best antiseptic for a ninja sword wound.

let someone else tell the boss that everybody's dead.


Jeff doesn't scare Mark "at orll", "at ORLL!!" Goodbye!

When theres no more room in Hollywood, remakes shall walk the Earth.


Sometimes a bad movie is a BAD movie