Just watched the movie (again!) and there is no actual headline for this bit but as you said Ian Richardson does quote from the article - here you go
“HOLY CHOPPED MEAT, princess Wendy went witling with a razor yesterday and had a ball. Yes ser ye another young soldier waved goodbye to his loved ones as her royal highness went crazy with a cutthroat during a routine pr-op shave on British flagship HMS Lion.”
The main issue to the scene being the fact that ANY press on board wouldn't be allowed to send ANYTHING off the ship without it being thoroughly vetted and censored first.