Ultra-low budget, but oddly charming.

This was a forgettable, low-budget movie in the same vein as "Rawhead Rex" or "Hell Comes to Frogtown"... and yet, isn't that part of their charm? I grew up in a small town, where the best video rental store was also part of the donut shoppe... they had the largest selection of horror movies, anything from "Chopping Mall" to "The Kindred".

I vaguely remember this film (hey, 1987 was a long time ago), mainly because of two scenes: first, I kind of remember her on a motorcycle, in a dirt parking lot, tearing around after some bikers. Doesn't she make somebody's head explode? But the most memorable scene is where the witch disrobes, revealing all six of her breasts, and nurses a clutch of demon zombies... who all wear brown, hooded cloaks... I was watching it with my best friend, and we just started laughing! (I'm just glad I wasn't eating yoghurt at the time... that's all I'm going to say...) I'm not sure we even finished it. Of course, we recommended it to all of our friends; you just can't put a price on something so hilariously awful.

Anyway, as bad as these films were, I have to admit that I kind of miss them. They weren't great (dude, they weren't even good!), but in retrospect, at least they weren't "Hollywood." When Hollywood makes awful movies -- like the 2006 remake of "When a stranger calls" -- they're so serious about it; do they really expect us to believe that a spray-painted turd is a gold nugget?

Anyway, when I'm at my local video store, and I see films like "Dracula 3000" or "Feeding the Masses", I know they're total crapola, and yet, I get kind of nostalgic. They may be turds, but no one's calling them kruggerrands.