Funniest line?




Nick Johnson

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i think mine is after the bath falls through the ceiling and tom hanks's character just looks at it and goes "HA!"

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When Tom hanks Says "Mozart, Mozart?, He's dead, his troubles are over! Help me! And of course "2 weeks, 2 weeks, you sound like a parakeet". Cracks me up every time I think of it.

Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

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Thats mine as well.
I also like when he begins to fall through the floor but the rug stops him, so he is stuck in the floor for hours.

Uh, um. Excuse me, can we get back to the situation of the gravy?

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Here are mine

(During the shouting match near the end)
Walter: You shouldn't have any trouble finding a bed.
Carpenter: I've got a bed lady.
Walter: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! THIS IS PRIVATE!

Max: Anna, all you want to talk about is money. Let's talk about love. Let's talk about sex. Forget love, lets just talk about sex.

When they buy the house they tell Jack and when he gets excited about it his pulse alarm starts beeping.

Walter: Well you better let me off here. I don't think you can make it up the driveway.
Pizza man: They're testing missles here or what?
Walter: That's right. And it's very hush hush, top secret, so forget you were here, forget you saw any of this, and forget about a tip. Ahh home crap home.

The scene with Mr. Schrapp where Walter is stuck in the floor and he thinks Walter is laughing at him.

and of course "Two weeks."

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Anna: "You are so much less attractive when I'm sober."

Walter: "Thank goodness it's not that often."

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I love it when he pushes on the tree and they all fall down, and when he's back in the house his remark is simply "We have weak trees!"LOL!

Frankly the whole movie is infused with wonderful lines, delivered by excellent actors. I have it on tape, watch it frequently, and laugh each and every time!

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YOOOUUUU WHORRRRE!!!

"My baloney has a first name, its HOMER, my baloney has a second name its HOMER"

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Funniest line: AHHHH, HOME CRAP HOME!!!!

Funniest SCENE: When Hanks takes a ride in the wheelbarrow blinded by the paint spill.


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When Walter is stuck in the floor and he said he was seeing farm animals.

"Cows, and chickens."


"Awhile ago I thought the care bears were here"

There are so many great ones.

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MAX: All you want to talk about is money. Let's talk about love and sex...ah forget love! Let's just talk about sex!

WALTER: Benny, if you don't give me that money, I'll...
BENNY: You'll what? ha-ha
WALTER: I'LL NOT LIKE YOU ANYMORE!!!!

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UPSTAIRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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GET BACK TO WORK!!!

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"...isralie secrete service. It turns out, carlos was hitlers pool man!"


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THE STAIRS ARE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The funniest line isn't really a line at all, It's Walter's bathtub laugh. :)


ANother great line
"Little problem in the kitchen, nothing, trivial."

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I didn't expect that water. It had legs!!



"And that's the way the cookie crumbles. And that's the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it"

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When talking about the carpenter...

"He didn't mean anything by it, he just thought you were fine wool."

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I like the part when Walter walks in the house and says "We have very weak trees." Just the way he said that was so funny.

I also like when he got stuck with the rug in the floor. And, when his wife tried to save him he fell through the floor.

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"What the hell was that?"
"I don't know, I just turned on the water."
"That's all?!"
"Yep. You should see the. . . I guess it's the water. I don't know, it's revolting!"

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"Let's talk about ,love and sex!" "Forget about love." "Let's just talk about sex!" Godonov, was great in that flick!
How about, when Walter is looking at Godonov's poster of himself looking all intense... "It's him were talking about isn't it?" The lunatic is back!"

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I'd forgotten that line :)
I say that about people i dont like :)

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i believe it's actually "good lookin' wool"

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Wayyyyyyyyy too many to count.
Love "We want to call ourselves Meryl Streep"

Walter: "You've made your name a household word. Cheap girls...I love it!"

And of course..
"TWO WEEKS!!!"

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i agree, that is the funniest scene in the movie. everyone does. we are likely to ever see tom hanks in a movie like this again. he is going for best actor nods from here on out.

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So many that have already been mentioned. My absolute favorite is Walter in the carpet in the floor. He sinks as he's counting money and even when he's firmly entrenched in the floor, he pauses and continues counting. He's singing the Name Game song "Let's do BRAD! Brad, Brad, boBrad..."

Another line that hasn't been mentioned: When the contractor doesn't want to take the job and says to Walter to offer him a drink of Scotch and Walter says something like "Of course, it's 11 a.m. you must be parched."

I love this movie, it just makes me completely crack up. Having built two houses, I can relate to the frustrations!

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So many that have already been mentioned. My absolute favorite is Walter in the carpet in the floor.


Anna's running around trying to find him while we can see his swaddled legs in the background, kicking and struggling from their trap in the ceiling.

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You whore!

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