Hysterical Review

Check out this one from Amazon.com's LP Quagmire...



WELCOME BACK, BIG FELLA!, October 23, 2002


"King Kong Lives," the ads proclaimed loudly in December, 1986, "and he is NOT happy!" Filmgoers though, couldn't have been more thrilled, and stormed theaters en masse to see the great ape's return.
They weren't disappointed. Prior to the film's release, however, the naysayers were out in full force. After all, the 1976 KING KONG was an unassailable classic, a noble and poetic masterpiece, the most fantastic expression of Beauty & The Beast ever filmed. How could this new film expect to follow such a cherished, cultural and cinematic touchstone, and more importantly, how could it do anything but cheapen it's legacy?
All misgivings were quickly disspelled when the film finally hit the multiplexes. After a dramatic recounting of Kong's tumble from the World Trade Center at the end of the original film, (complete with cameos by stars Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lange, neither of whom appear to have aged a day), we fast-forward ten years later to discover Kong has indeed survived his plunge from New York's tallest skyscraper, and we find him comatose at a privately-funded research facility, awaiting a heart transplant...
I wouldn't dare give away more than that. Brimming with remarkable special-effects wizardry, KING KONG LIVES is a true entertainment spectacular and, in a rare feat, has become every bit as legendary as its illustrious predecessor. Even though Rick Baker chose not to don the monkeysuit for the sequel, it's virtually impossible to distinguish this ape from the '76 model, and that's as it should be. The near-documentary quality of the effects proved so convincing that many people reportedly ran screaming from the theater in shock and terror. John Scott's majestic and moving score perfectly compliments the frenetic action of the visuals, and the accompanying soundtrack album became an immediate bestseller.
Sadly, for all it's acclaim and popularity with audiences, KING KONG LIVES appears to be the final film in the franchise. It's also become something of an albatross around the lovely neck of leading lady Linda Hamilton, whose only high-profile piece of work since this picture has been a guest shot on tv's FRASIER. Then again, not many actors get the opportunity to share a moviescreen with Hollywood's biggest star - KING KONG!

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The 21st Century deserves a Superman worthy of the Colbert Nation -- STEPHEN COLBERT FOR SUPERMAN!