Question: do men write books/films about how hurt / abused they were?

......I think it shows a lack of dignity, to retaliate on the spouse who spurned you by exploiting them in the media.
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Bernstein was a "journalist" himself and while he assisted with Woodward in exposing the Watergate Scandal, I would question how many others he may have exploited himself, for the sake of a story and glory. How was his own integrity?



In other words, being a crybaby as if she was too special to accept what happened to her.
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I am not an Ephron fan and most of the stuff she had done was shallow, fluff and piffle. It was aimed at the simpleminded masses and most of her scripts should have been tarred, feathered and flung out of Hollywood......IMHO. I give her credit though for her co-written script for SILKWOOD-83' and HEARTBURN-86', which I was surprised, at how enjoyable I found it to be. It has a certain charm about it and I also found it oddly inspiring.

The film is on Rachel's side and it didn't really give us any real or solid reasoning for Mark's infidelity and this is bias. However, there may have been no reasoning for it, except that Mark was being foolish and self-serving. As a consequence, Rachel felt betrayed and burned and why shouldn't she be. Rachel had 2 young children and she came to a realization that she didn't need Mark—or a man—anymore and would cope on her own for a while. She empowered herself, which I see as a positive message.

Yes, it could have been born out of revenge and resentment; but Ephron chose to cry about it and then made a living out of it. This intention was for Ephron to deal with, her simple story or plight was universal though and that is what connects.

Maybe it was part revenge, maybe it was part wanting to have her side of the story heard. Nothing undignified about that. If he didn't want to have his dirty laundry aired, maybe he should have washed his shorts.

I mean, whatever she did to him, what he did was worse and it was his heartless and selfish actions that prompted her to write her book.

What prominent female celebrity did a lot of extra-marital roaming? Zsa Zsa? I don't know, I think the media covers it. And while there is some kind of consensus that men are not supppsed to "complain" or want revenge against the cheating spouse. But, real courage, IY, is sticking to your convictions and being true to yourself, in spite of the fact that you will have to deal with many detractors.

You are not obligated to society or any person to try and fit the way you feel about anything to satisfy some agenda that you don't agree with and had no part in establishing. One of your biggest problems, IY, is that you need to acknowledge and accept and own your feelings and point of view as yours. Cultivate your inner self and, for God's sake, stop seeking out points of view that are different from your own. It is a very negative and frustrating and TOTALLY unproductive way to express yourself. And this thing you've got about calling yourself "Inherently Yours", you need to stop. It's passive-aggressive in the extreme, this way of presuming that it is all those people around, their self-confidence, their understanding of the "rules of the game" and their willingness to play the game in order to just get along and try to make a decent life for themselves. People are not indebted to your own sense of shame, IY. It is completely unreasonable to expect other people to be so willing "to cut off their nose to spite their face". You cannot resent somebody for trying to be optimistic and for trying to feel good about themselves. And even though I have never been a "group person" myself, I understand that most people are just doing the best that they can.

And, most important of all, you need to stop thinking that other people are in any way responsible for how you've come to arrive at your negative world view. Bad things happen to everybody. You are not exempt from the human condition. This "inherently yours" thing you're peddling is all backwards. You and your feelings and your point of view are YOURS and nobody else's. Your raison d'etre is to provoke people who've done absolutely nothing to you until they become hostile and then you can feel justified in your victim identity and feel like you've accomplished something worthwhile. These cannot be your goals.

It's time for you to find something new. Remember, when Ruth Gordon won the Oscar. And, at the age of 70, said in her acceptance speech: "I can't tell you how encouraging a thing like this is."

It's not too late for you. And nobody is going to judge you if the mistakes you make are honest and nobody is going to laugh at you if you let your defenses down. People are too busy living their own lives to want to stop and play Devil's Advocate ad nauseum.

You're always saying how none of this is a game. You're right, life is not a game.. so stop living it on IMDB and go outside and do just one new thing.

Good luck.

"Yes, tubing my precious one! Haven't you ever tubed?!!!"