Poorly executed and excruciatingly slow.

Before I start I just want to say that I'm a *massive* fan of Cleese and virtually all of his work, from his acting performances to his work behind the camera. I'm very fond of so much of his filmography, from the Python series and films, to A Fish Called Wanda to Fierce Creatures and of course, the near perfect Fawlty Towers.

Because of this, I was recommended Clockwise.

I was expecting a feature-length symphony of chaos and Cleese-humour; Fawlty Towers, but given a budget and a 100 minute run time to wreak havoc for Cleese's character.

However, Clockwise is anything but.

The biggest problem with the film is its pacing. It is almost unbelievably slow. Of course, a slow buildup is often a benefit in such comedies; the story and circumstances slowly burn towards a riotous explosion of comedy, like Fawlty Towers has so often done. But in those instances, the slowness worked because we were always aware of the threat, of the tension, of the promise of what trouble is bubbling below the surface. In the case of this film however, I was bored almost to the point of turning off the movie.

Clockwise features entire scenes where characters do essentially nothing, or engage in so-called 'antics' that are virtually free of tension, suspense or humour. The scenes in the monastery, in the country fields, in the phone box or by the side of the road completely drain the film's energy. The very point of the movie is for us to feel the importance of every second tick by, to race against time, to be terrified of the prospect of being late--of missing the engagement. However, although Cleese's character is set up to be bordering on near obsession with these things, by the midway point he has seemingly abandoned these qualities and drifts through the film, even remarking that he doesn't care anymore. This character trait change is completely unprecedented, and makes no sense, to say nothing of how it drains the film of drama and comedy. I won't even touch on the bizarre and absurd sequence in which Cleese and his student take another man into the woods to steal his clothes by offering sex. It's barely usable in theory, and in execution, the scene is utterly groan-inducing.

The second major problem refers to the characters themselves and the way the film handles them. An entire slew of supporting characters are introduced (badly and uninterestingly), each of them supposedly being set up to antagonise and confound Cleese when he finally arrives. After we spend the whole film slowly and numbingly reaching Cleese's engagement, these characters are virtually forgotten, merely wandering into his speech session to distract him for a moment before being seated. The explosion of comedy and awkward confrontation, as was done so marvelously in A Fish Called Wanda, Fierce Creatures and Fawlty Towers, never occurs at all. The film's climax barely even occurs, and when it does, it's merely signposted by Cleese giving a bizarrely disjointed speech; a scene which doesn't seem to know whether it's suggesting that Cleese has lost his mind, or is merely winging it. Frankly, at this point, I didn't care. The subplots and ultimate conclusion of the story are never resolved. The film simply stops. Having Cleese's character no longer caring is fine, but this fact is never properly established.

Finally, the performances are either painful or boring. Everyone but Cleese seems to have turned their 'annoying-stereotype' meter up to eleven, screeching, whining and giggling in the most absurd ways. Meanwhile, Cleese himself plays the film surprisingly straight and subdued, barely every reaching his trademark levels of Basil Fawlty hysteria. This, despite the fact that he finds himself in situations that would make Fawlty collapse in agony. Naturally, I understand that we are dealing with different characters here, but since the film goes to such arduous lengths in the first act to set up Cleese's neurosis, the fact that he sleepwalks through the rest of the film is genuinely bizarre.

Ultimately, Clockwise is incredibly disappointing, and, despite the apparent love of it in certain circles, I feel should be avoided at all costs.

It's begging for a remake to inject some tension, suspense and genuine comedy into this simple concept.