Sequel

I know there's not a snowballs chance in hades, but if Hollywood knows what's good for them, they'll make a BOTH 2. Either by using the original characters (I guess it'd have to be band of the Deformed Hand because a finger would be missing because of the dead dude. And one of the other fingers would have pink nail polish on it because of the gay dude.) Or at the very least Hollywood needs to do a remake.

If you watch this movie, all of life's questions are answered. Better than a ouija board, better than Dion Warwick's Psychic Friends, better than a magic 8-ball.

Why, just the other day I had it playing in the background while I was trying to decide what to eat for dinner. I was in bad shape. I couldn't decide. I didn't know what to do. I almost called 911 to see what they suggested I have for dinner. And then I hear Rattler say "I hate fish", and BINGO. I remembered that I too hate fish. So I didn't have fish for dinner. See how Band of the Hand saved my life?

If Hollywood doesn't make a sequel or a part 2 or a prequel or a remake or whatever else is all the rage these days, I'm going to have to put them on "The List". "The List" already has George Lucas on it for making Howard the Duck and for destroying Star Wars by making Han shoot after Gweedo instead of Han shooting first, the way it really happened. I know Han shot first, because I was there in the cantina and saw the whole thing. I don't know why nobody believes me. Making that statement isn't as far fetched as a lot of what other people say on IMDB's message boards.


"I'm Jake. You're not. This probably makes you sad."