Jessie is sadistic

Nanette, I understand what you're saying, but I think when you are as despondent and so utterly without hope as somebody like Jesse, you become estranged from "normal" human emotion and motivation, things like love and hate, cruelty and kindness. Given her state, I think it was pretty thoughtful of Jesse to take the time and feeling and, yes, courage to prepare her mother for what was about to happen. And Jesse was quite clear about her reasons. She wanted to make sure that her mother understood that it had nothing to do with her. When Jesse was saying that if there were just one thing in life that she could really look forward to, e.g., rice pudding, that it might make life worth sticking around for was pretty heart rending and pretty much said it all. I've never been one to think of suicide as "selfish ". It is very "self-centered", yes, in the fact that it is in a sense the ultimate act of "self", and I would think that the survivor's guilt could be traumatic. But in the end, it will always be the choice of the individual. I felt very sad for Thelma, but to imagine the profound level of hopelessness and loneliness/isolation that Jesse must have felt is, frankly, horrifying. She was barely able to go through the motions anymore. And i imagine she had felt like this for a long time. She'd given life a fair shake and she finally decided that she'd had enough. My sympathies rest with Jesse.

For Jessie Nan, I don't think she would have even thought about her actions being cruel where her family and especially her mother were concerned. She was in pain, and at least Thelma would have been able to explain to Jessie's son and the rest what happened and what Jessie had attempted to convey. If we go through life, thinking why someone does things or acts a certain way and how dare they do that and cause me this much grief and pain, then that could also be considered self-centered and selfish.

I think we are very fortunate beings, if we can live out our lives and not get to the point where Jessie was and have to commit the ultimate act of the "self". I don't believe that is how our lives are supposed to pan out or end; but for some, the inner turmoil and pain would be just so very very deep, intense and cutting, that they can't see any other way out. I recall seeing this at the cinema when it was first released. I came out emotionally drained and pale. I recall walking to my car and kid delivering papers on his bike asked me if I was OK. It hit a nerve with me, due to the depression and pain I was going through at the time. I look back now and think what a self-absorbed, self-pitying and indignant jerk I was; but that was just the way it was for me at the time and part of the process.