... No seriously. I was reading the Wiki for Invasion U.S.A. and they mentioned that it had a novelization, which I still might not have believed had they not shown a picture of it. Has anyone read it? Gotta be a rare item.
'Cause there's thunder in your heart... every move is like lightning!
http://www.amazon.com/Invasion-U-S-A-Jason-Frost/dp/0523426690
Yes, I bought it a few days ago but I didn't start reading yet. Should be a great book.
.01 ? Wow, I've gotta pick this up as a collectible if nothing else. When you do get around to reading it, please post back here with a mini-review.
'Cause there's thunder in your heart... every move is like lightning!
Here's an extract:
'BOOOOOOM! BANG!' Chuck leaps out, twin Uzi's ready for action 'RATATATATATATATA'. Bad guys duck. 'BOOOM' their car explodes. Chuck turns slightly, 'RATATATATATATATA', then switches to the RPG 'whoosh... BOOOOOM! whoosh... BOOOOOM! whoosh... BOOOOOM!' Explosions everywhere. Dozens of foreigners fire machine guns at nothing in particular.
Elsewhere, Rostov looks crazy, "We must find Hunter!"
Somehow Chuck and the reporter are both at the heart of the next attack. 'BANGGGG!!! RATATATATATATA' Chuck jumps from his truck and saves the idiot woman again.
"Hey cowboy, how about some asexual banter that just hangs awkwardly in the air?"
'BOOOM!!! RATATATATATA BANG!' BiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIg EXplosion levels a shopping centre. Chuck jumps back in the truck and heads to the next attack.
"I MUST find Hunter" screams a crazy looking Rostov.
'BANG! BANG! BANG!' Shotgun pellets bounce off Chuck's truck so he gets out to save the paintwork. 'RATATATATATATATA, RATATATATATATATA' The squibs in the foreigners chests' seem to be electrocuting them.
"Hey cowboy, why am I in this film again?" asks the reporter.
"Your role originally had a point but we cut it down to fit in more explosions" replies Hunter.
"Sounds familiar" agrees Billy Drago.
'BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM RATATATATATATATA, RATATATATATATATA'
"Where is HUNTER??!!!!" bellows Rostov, who seems a bit crazy.
'BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!' Chuck blows up some more stuff to stop the foreigners blowing stuff up. Some ethnic people argue. Society is breaking down. Chuck shoots people in the head til someone tells him where Rostov is. 'RATATATATATATATA' Chuck kills him anyway and goes to confront Rostov.
Crazy dude Rostov is ranting, "WHERE IS HUNTER?! WHY CAN'T YOU FIND ME.... oh hello Hunter."
"I'm gonna kill you for what you did to that Indian dude from Flipper that everyone's forgotten about" say's Chuck, I mean Hunter.
"I don't think so" replies Rostov, as he opens a door to reveal Deputy DA Alex Cahill tied to a chair, "now put down your guns"
"Don't listen to him Walker" cries Alex.
"Christ Alex, you're not even in this one and you still get kidnapped!"
'BOOOOOOOMMMM' a huge explosion shakes the building and Walker, I mean Chuck, I mean Hunter is able to stab Rostov in the ear with a copy of Shakespeare's first folio, killing him instantly.
"Read that, Rostov!" quips HuntChucker (this was the original ending), just as Trivet arrives to help.
The novelization is actually pretty great. It's by Raymond Obstfeld, under the psuedonym Jason Frost. In every regard it is superior to the film -- more humor, more background, more explanation over what the hell is going on and what exactly Rostov is doing, and most importantly a reason for the reporter to even be in the story! (Unlike in the film, she is actually involved with the storyline.)
More background is given over the Hunter/Rostov rivalry and scenes are just better -- plus there are many more action scenes. For example the airboat attack on Hunter's home. In the novel it goes on much longer, with Hunter taking out several of the terrorists as they chase after him. (However Hunter does NOT have a pet armadillo in the novel!) Also there's another action scene where some terrorists attack a country bar where the reporter is -- she was called there by Rostov, who was setting her up -- and Hunter comes in to rescue her.
I'm almost halfway finished, and the novel is a blast -- and the writing is leagues better than you'd expect.