MovieChat Forums > Better Off Dead... (1985) Discussion > What I learned from Better Off Dead

What I learned from Better Off Dead


It's ok to shower with your socks on because you can dry them with a hair dryer.

It's easier to rip out your car radio and throw it out the window than it is to just turn it off.

Car radios will continue playing for a little bit after being thrown out of the window.

Mountains are covered in pure snow and the street value is incredible!

Snorting snow freezes your brain and makes you hallucinate thinking you can't move your arm.

Camaros can run without alternators, water pumps and distributors.

French girls really know how to fix cars!

It's a shame to throw away perfectly good white boys.

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frozen dinners make good Christmas presents

jello has drug-like qualities

you take ground pig meat and pat it into pig balls

8 year old paperboys are relentless if you don't pay them

some math teachers have students wanting homework

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Going to high school for 7 and half years does not make you an idiot.

French girls are better than you at everything (Cars, skiiing.)

If you ever have a French person over for dinner be sure to serve: French fries, french dressing, and a bottle of Peru.


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cheerleaders will date entire basketball teams.

basketball players don't have a problem sharing 1 cheerleader between them- but no other students who aren't on the team.

when your clothes get ripped off-scream a while-instead of pulling them back on.


when a couple breaks up,ask the exboyfriend can you date his ex.


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you are N0T the father!

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fast food establishments really don't require you to wash your hands before preparing the food.

coffee is handy to soak your dentures into.

if chalk makes a screech on the blackboard,it will make your hair stand up.

an exchange student living at your house automatically makes them your gf/bf.


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brush your breath,brush your breath,brush your breath with dentyne.

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1.There are asians who talk like Howard Cosell

2.You can ski on one ski

3.Wrapping yourself in bed sheets with a tie around your head is the best attire for a suicide attempt

4.Aardvark fur makes a warm coat

5.You can pick up chicks just by reading a book

6. It's possible to read 70 pages for homework overnight for one class

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7. You can cut the coupons off cereal boxes and put them back in the cupboard while still full. Nobody will mind.

8. After 1 day of ski training you can do the hardest run... on one ski.

9. When you become an exchange student, pretend you don't speak their language in case you don't like them so they'll never find out.

10. Nobody will suspect you can speak english even if you go to an english school for a whole term.

11. After you buy a car because your girlfriend says it's tasty, you should just leave it covered on your driveway for months.



~ Observe, and act with clarity. ~

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Hamburgers can play a mean guitar riff!

Monique speaks perfectly good english.

Ricky has Tentacles...

Drunks can't taste gasoline when they drink it.

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The blob of green crap with raisins in it is actually alive.

Paperboys can't swim.

Beth is a slut.

Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way-- turn.

Lane's grandmother dropped acid, freaked out and highjacked a school bus full of penguins.

TWO. DOLLARS.









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Me First and the Gimme Gimmes (<-- best band in the world.)

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Hamburgers can play a mean guitar riff!


Only three months into Sammy Hagar's tenure in Van Halen, it was obvious that they needed Diamond Dave back.

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You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.

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The teacher will call on you when you try to slink down in your seat while everyone else is volunteering to put their homework on the board.

When the bell rings ending class, everyone groans.

If you let go of a balloon, try to go after it even though you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of getting it back.

Some boys like to put their girlfriends in a choke hold.

Ducks always need a lift to school.

Barney Rubble is married and wants to ask out Beth.

Mailmen don't care if they drop your mail in the street.

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Paperboys will kill for two dollars; pay them.

Suicide is not as easy as you may think it is.

Don't kill yourself over a girl; a better one with a French accent may be waiting for you around the corner.


When the world slips you a jeffrey, stroke the furry wall.

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Dottie from Peewee's Big Adventure would be Better Off Dead than to live without you.

If a fat guy lies motionless on the floor, just dance around him.

You should not anger mother.

Charles De Mar and Lane Myer have my vote for cutest couple.

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bullies don't feel as good putting you down if u laugh at their lame jokes.

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& the dog says woof woof & the cat says meow.

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You take the ground pig meat. And you pat it into pig balls!

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1. You can wash your hands on your own time.
2. The town is a flyspeck on the map.
3. Charles can't even get real drugs in this town.
4. Monique doesn't speak imbecile.
5. Ricky sucks up pudding while Charles snorts jello.
6. Lane never carries money with him-otherwise he would've just paid the paperboy.
7. Even a girl with wacky braces doesn't want to date Lane.

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1. Lane made a birdhouse in woodshop and the Fair Housing Commission condemned it.
2. Frozen dinners make good Christmas presents.
3. Charles' brother makes eggnog with lighter fluid.
4. Dying when you're not really sick is really sick.
5. Lane's dad tries not to curse.
6. Everybody wants some of Rocco's Pig Burgers.
7. Charles has been going to hs for 7.5 years and he is no dummy.
8. Use chalk from a compass to write on the blackboard.

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A mountainous ski resort is only a short drive away from a semi-tropical California town

The ski team captain and the head jock from Revenge of the Nerds could be related!

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bacon turns green when boiled.

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he left u NAKED in a DITCH!

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Lane Myer's mailman is much more competent than mine.

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Lane plays a mean sax.
Paperboys are desperate to get the two dollars they are owed, they will follow your ass anywhere.
Don't upset Ricky's mother.
Cars are not toys so obey the proper speed limits.
Chinese men and their dates eat Chinese food.

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