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Things We Learn From Anne of Green Gables


Book, not movie, although most of these apply to both.

1) People with red hair are far more likely to be "wicked".

2) It is possible to fall off of the roof of a house and not be seriously hurt.

3) If you crack a slate over someone's head and declare that you will hate him for the rest of your life, you have probably just met your future husband.

4) There is a crucial difference between raspberry cordial and currant wine.

5) Kindred spirits are far more common than one would think.

6) Someone calling you "Carrots" at the age of thirteen is a legitimate excuse to stay angry at that person for five years.

7) Someone calling you "Carrots" at the age of thirteen is, in fact, NOT a legitimate excuse to stay angry at that person for the rest of your lives. (SHOCKER!)

8) Matthew should never put his oar in, because Marilla knows how to raise a child better than he does.

9) Re-enacting scenes from Camelot can be a highly dangerous business.

10) Three sets of twins in succession is simply too much!

11) It is impossible to eat when in the depths of despair.

12) It is impossible to ever be perfectly happy if you have red hair.

13) It is possible to be highly intelligent and still be a complete idiot. (Case in point: Anne Shirley)

14) Puffed sleeves are the most desirable, luxurious things on this earth.

15) The spelling of one's name can make a crucial difference.

16) Dying your hair green is the best way to be cured of vanity.

17) If you want to get a dress for your adopted daughter, it is best to start by buying tons of brown sugar.

18) Not knowing everybody else's business will ruin some people's day.

19) People who don't talk make the best father figures.

20) There is a world of difference between being called "Crow" and being called "Carrots".

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21) Making a little wine for refreshment is far less sinful than MEDDLING IN OTHER PEOPLE'S AFFAIRS.

22) God Himself would probably not meet with Mrs. Barry's approval.

23) The Prime Minister wasn't elected on the basis of his looks, that's for sure.

24) If you suspect your "bosom friend" secretly likes the guy she pretends to hate, be noble and don't make a move on him yourself.

25) Being poor has one consolation - you have to develop a good imagination.

26) Always examine boats carefully for leaks before reenacting The Lily Maid.

27) It is not enough to come out somewhere in the middle of the list, it's essential to beat your enemy.

28) It is not a good idea to have affairs with your students, otherwise you may be forced from your teaching post.

29) Always check the spare bed before racing your friend and jumping on it.

30) If you dye your hair green, you won't have to have it all cut off, just awfully short.

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31) Whether they are true, or not, always make your confessions "interesting."

32) Drowning in a crock of icing is a romantic way for a mouse to die.

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34) Make sure it's your cow before you sell it

35) Make sure to stick your nose in the air whenever you are around Gilbert Blythe

36) Do and be whatever Marilla wants if only she'll keep you

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38) make sure you know the correct spelling of CHRYSANTHEMUM before you spell it in a spelling bee with a smug assed look on your face.

39) sticking your tongue at your rivel in the early 1900's was as 'in' as it was in the late 1980's.

40) Diana would rather stand in the middle of a field and wave her hand HOPING Anne will notice her rather than go up to the door like any normal asshat.

41) Diana loves her some cookies.

42) two sprained ankles (in the book one of them was broken) and the next scene you are up and around like nothing happened. (I have sprained each ankle both very badly at separate times -- sometimes I can hardly walk.)

42 1/2: so she is recovering at home and the visit from the superintendent WAS NOT AWE INSPIRING ENOUGH TO MAKE IT INTO THE MOVIE!!




OH THANK YOU GOD! THANK YOU SO BLOODY MUCH!!! Basil Fawlty

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Only female orphans pur strychnine in wells.

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