Things I learned from They're Playing with Fire (spoilers)

1. Everyone in L.A. wears the same style of white Nike tennis shoes.
2. Every college lecture will relate to the murder mystery in which you are involved.
3. Sybil Danning's butt cellulite will magically disappear when in close-up.
4. The guy who has a "hot date with a chick" every night is obviously gay (and probably a maniacal killer, too)
5. Always trust a poodle. He's smarter than you, except when the killer needs a chance to sneak up from behind.
6. The surprise reveal of the killer's identity is not so surprising when every other major character has been killed.
7. Make it with your hot teacher, and you get a Ferrari for your efforts.

I'm glad I didn't see this when I was young (although boy did I want to). It would have warped my thinking even more than Private Lessons and My Tutor.