MovieChat Forums > Something About Amelia (1984) Discussion > Upsetting and ridiculous

Upsetting and ridiculous

posted 15 years ago by ec1979
53 replies | jump to latest

While I understand how ground-breaking this movie was, and how impressive the acting is, I have been upset about it since the first time I saw it as a kid. When a father rapes his daughter, he needs to be put in jail. He doesn't belong in therapy with the victim, hoping she'll accept him back. This movie made it seem like incest was an occasional problem in families that can be conquered through counselling. At one point the therapist says that fathers who rape their daughters do so when the mother is involved emotionally in an issue and she is not present because of that issue...referencing that the abuse occurred when Glen Close's character was with Beth at the hospital, leaving the father home alone with Amelia. A man who rapes his daughter is not expressing his love in a bad way, confusing sex with love, or in need of the affection he doesn't get from his wife, he's a sick pedophile and he won't change. This movie is way off-base and reflects how dated it is. Ask any psychologist. They will say that the victim, siblings, and mother need therapy..the father needs to go to prison, where he can't do this again. This movie portrayed incest as a problem you handle like any other family issue, such as alcoholism. Ridiculous.

[–] lazarillo 8 years ago

There are several problems with what you are saying here. First, you can't expect a movie made in 1984 to have the same perspective that we do today. Far from "sweeping things under the rug", this movie at the time really brought this issue out in the open.

Second, the way we handle this today is not so great. There are hordes of sex offenders in the US. We simply don't have the money or jail space to throw the book at all of them. If you insist on throwing the book at one of the less dangerous sex offender, you run the risk of letting two even more dangerous sex offenders walk the streets. You need to think with your head sometimes rather than your spleen

Third, are you saying that NOBODY can ever be rehabilitated or make atonement to someone they hurt? That sounds pretty bleak. We may as well take all these guys out back and shoot them, and while we're at it we can be preemptive and shoot their irreversibly damaged victims too because a large percentage of VICTIMS in turn grow up to be perpetrators. Americans are really rabid when it comes to battling LUST, but they have no problem wallowing in infinite WRATH. But they're both deadly sins aren't they?

The recidivism rate of sex offenders is high, but it isn't 100 percent. Maybe this guy beats the odds and is rehabilitated and is able to have a relationship with his family as opposed to dying in prison while his daughter is left fatherless and full of guilt. Nobody TODAY is so naive to believe that treatment is likely to work, but you shouldn't become so blinded by wrath that you have no space for forgiveness or HOPE left in your heart. Where we are today with this issue frankly no better than we were in 1984. There's just a lot more foaming at the mouth by a lot more people.

"Let be be finale of seem/ The only emperor is the Emperor of Ice Cream"

[–] ec1979 8 years ago

I SAW it in 84 and this was my reaction THEN. It wasn't the 50s. We knew about the spychology of sex offenders and the likelihood that they will continue to offend. We knew that keeping a victim around her offender was dangerous.

Your second and third paragraphs are disturbing: we should not give up on justice for molestation victims simply because there ar so many sex offenders. And, I absolutely believe that sex offenders, esp ones who rape their own children cannot be rehabilitated and a father who rates his daughter should not have the chance to rape her again just because he MAY be able to be rehabilitated.

[–] lm362 8 years ago

Why does he need to be in jail? This victim still loved her dad. Wouldn't a life sentence have hurt her more, especially if therapy and counseling could have helped?
He was not in therapy with the victim, hoping she would accept him back.
This movie did not, at any time, make it seem like incest was an occasional problem in families that can be conquered through counseling. You can not quote any line from the movie to support this. This movie only showed that therapy and counseling are two ways the perpetrator might be helped.
You are very wrong in saying molesters can not change. Are you going to say that every person who has known a molester and said he has stopped molesting is lying, even the victims?
Not all psychologists say that molesters need to be in jail. And this movie accurately stated a reason some men molest.
Anyone who truly knows about molestation knows that it can not always be handled like any other family issue, such as alcoholism. Molesters who refuse treatment, will not admit their wrongdoing, or show that the must be in jail because treatment won't work do need to be in jail. And do you also think an alcoholic belongs in jail permanently? That is what some people think. But sometimes, alcoholics are sick and can be helped instead of having to go to jail.

"Do All Things For God's Glory"-1 Corinthians 10:31
I try doing this with my posts

[–] ec1979 8 years ago

Because rapists, especially ones who rape their own daughters, belong in prison. Therapy cannot help them. They are a danger society, the fact that I just had to type that is ridiculous.

[–] lm362 8 years ago

Obviously you are not a person who believes in the words of God, Jesus or any of Jesus followers from the scriptures. All of them say that God's word and spirit have the power to change any wrong way, if the person truly wants to change. So some molesters can be and have been taught how to stop molesting and have done so. Jesus said that all sins humans commit against each other are forgivable. There are victims who have forgiven those who have molested them as well as wanting them to get better. This has been reported on in the news, so to say this has not happened is lying and disrespecting the victim who has forgiven the molester. Every religion has people in it who had once molested and who have stopped. To say all of them are lying is ridiculous.

"Do All Things For God's Glory"-1 Corinthians 10:31
I try doing this with my posts

[–] ec1979 8 years ago

Nailed it. I didn't even read your whole wackado message. Keep your kids away from pedophiles, even if they say they've found jesus. Study after study has shown that sex offenders cannot be cured. Even by belief in a magical man in the sky.

[–] fiatlux-1 8 years ago

I believe in God & I still agree with you.
Pedophiles are CRIMINALS, they belong in prison.

Whether God forgives him or not is completely irrelevant to this discussion.
Stephen committed a heinous crime against his own daughter, not even just once but dozens of times.
And tried to blame HER for it, to boot!
How is a prison sentence going to hurt his daughter....as opposed to having her rapist living in her home again?!!

That mother was almost as bad. The way she even considered taking him back was disgusting.

He belonged in prison, and when released, banned from EVER seeing his daughter again.

I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus.
Didn't he discover America?
Penfold, shush.

[–] ec1979 8 years ago

Exactly! Thank you!

[–] IrisJ123 8 years ago

I saw this movie when I was 10 -- it disgusted me then, and it disgusts me even more now. Everything from the "forgiveness" angle to the mere suggestion that it could be the mother's fault for neglecting her wifely duties is positively unacceptable.

I recall reading, at the time, that the filmmakers wanted to show this scenario in which the family has a chance at staying together so that kids would not be afraid to tell because they didn't want their families to break up. I can kind of get behind that, I suppose. But that final scene, when she's remembering him holding her as a baby and singing "Hush, Little Baby" and then gives that little smile -- it makes me want to retch. Yeah, he's holding the baby daughter whom he will someday have sex with -- just disgusting.

And Glenn Close's whole speech that seems to say it will likely be better to stay with him than to be alone. I mean, what in the HELL?!! Was she going to have sex with him again, if they stayed together? How could any woman even think about doing that?

Yeah, even if the intentions behind it were good, this film is, ultimately, a disgrace.

[–] lm362 8 years ago

The girl is remembering her father has a loving father, not the molester he became. Your not accepting her feeling is very disrespectful of the victim. Yes, Glenn Close character was wrong to say it would be better to stay than to be alone. Fear of being alone is not a good reason to marry or stay in a marriage. And what is wrong with her having sex with him if he is repentant and determined to not molest again? She also has the right to forgive and she is also a victim of his actions. Here again, you are being disrespectful of the victim.

"Do All Things For God's Glory"-1 Corinthians 10:31
I try doing this with my posts

[–] LolaVerdon (130) 4 years ago

Was this movie produced by Woody Allen?

[–] GotWood84 (384) 5 years ago

Very interesting comments in this thread. Didn't even know this movie existed. I see it's on youtube, got some lube and I'm gonna watch it.

[–] [deleted] 4 years ago

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