Favourite Line?


I am just paraphrasing this but fans will get the point:

Greeting card guy reading card: hello grandpa, happy birthday to you. And if you live til next year, happy birthday then too!


Warren: I remember after I saw Rocky, I ran out in the park jogging, shadow boxing. Some guy came up to me and punched me right in the face.

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"Warren Evans.....First time lonely guy?"

(after being asked about one of the cardboard cutouts) "Oh, that's just a friend I don't see anymore."

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This movie, The Jerk, and The Man with Two Brains provide celluloid proof that Steve Martin was once funny. In this comedy gem from the era in which he actually made funny movies, Martin gave a brilliant performance, but the movie wouldn’t have been nearly as effective without Charles Grodin’s uber-lonely-guy, Warren, to commiserate with Larry and, at turns, ameliorate or amplify his sense of aloneness.

In a movie replete with brilliant lines (as well as brilliant sight-gags), it’s hard to pick out a single moment, but here are a few of my favorites:

“Oh, that’s great, Larry, but I just came here to get laid”, babe in the bar, after Larry introduces himself and tries to elicit sympathy by giving her his spiel about why most guys come to bars like this.

“Way to go, Danielle”, after hearing on the radio of the lonely rock group committing suicide after their tryst with the ex-girlfriend who rejected Larry sending him on his way into the world of the lonely guy.

“You played very well, except moves 14 through 17, which you played like an a$$hole”, electronic chessboard to Warren, after he was checkmated by the machine.

Warren, perusing the obituaries: “A guy 46 dropped dead.”
Larry: “From what?”
Warren: “Natural causes.”
Larry: “I think I’m getting that.”



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I can't believe this didn't make the memorable quotes list but it's a cheesy line he writes while he's making the erotic novel...

“Soon the primal fire began to burn in Lady Hookstratton’s body. Her hips twitched and trembled as each fireball from Oliver’s powerful cannon erupted like molten lava into the quivering mouth of her ever fluttering love-purse.”


Classic!!

:D

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Plus Oliver was ... Oliver Cromwell, ROFL.

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The whole scene where Warren is talking about getting his hair cut. He complains about being charged the same as Michael Landon would. I haven't seen this in a while but that scene is my fave.

My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone.

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Warren to Larry: "Don't call them ferns, Larry, call them guys. Then if anyone asks you what you did this weekend, you can say you watched the game with the guys."

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I can't really quote a line, but the whole section after this one (the Michael Landon haircut scene) where Warren and Larry are talking about how bums have great heads of hair is classic

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Warren: "I don't like to take naps. I don't like to wake up more than once a day. 'Cause when I first wake up I get that shock of who I am and everything. I....I really don't like to do that more than once a day."
Larry: "Ya"

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Will you be my valentine? Think about it a bit. If yes then good, if not, who gives a *beep*

LOL






RIP Estelle Getty 1923-2008
RIP Eartha Kitt 1927-2008

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[Man on radio] ... with a % chance of rain, clearing in the afternoon.
There were three suicides in manhattan late last night,
all characterized as lonely guys.
Two of the men were found dead in their west side apartments.
Both traveling salesmen, who came home from the road after two weeks...
and found that their large, beautiful fern plants were dead.
- Wow. - A third lonely guy,
who had a view just below the east river, opened his window and drowned.
There was no suicide note. Apparently, he had no one to leave it to.
- Talk about lonely. - And here's a bulletin:
The new york police department reports there's just been another suicide.
That of a lonely rock group. More details as we get them.


If I seem Superhuman, I have been misunderstood!

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[deleted]

When he's talking about taking up jogging and Warren says:
"I remember after I saw Rocky, I ran out in the park jogging, shadow boxing. Some guy came up to me and punched me right in the face."

best line. other than the greating cards, that is.

--Where the hell's the records room??--

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Yes the most favorite is
Warren Evans: I don't like to take naps. I don't like to wake up more than once a day. 'Cause when I first wake up I get that shock of who I am and everything. I... I really don't like to do that more than once a day.
Larry Hubbard: Ya.

Also good.
Was it the Queen of clubs?
No.
Was it a club?
No.
Diamond?
Yes.
Queen of diamonds?
No.
Nine of diamonds?
No.
Six of diamonds?
No.
Three of diamonds?
Yes! Not bad, not bad...


How bout the quote about such a great unwashed fat woman like Melanie?

Warren Evans: My girl Melanie just left me.
Larry Hubbard: What'd she leave you for?
Warren Evans: She came home last night, found some guy robbing her apartment. They just hit it off.
Larry Hubbard: Gee, that sounds tough.
Warren Evans: It *was* tough. It's probably for the best. She's really started to let herself go. Drank a lot, never bathed, fat.
Larry Hubbard: Hey, don't worry. You'll meet another girl.
Warren Evans: Not like Melanie.

...
Warren Evans: You know what gets me? I go to get a haircut, they charge me, like, four bucks, which is the same amount of money they would charge anybody to come in. But say a guy like Michael Landon goes into the shop where I go, they would charge him four bucks, yet he's got, like, a hundred times more hair than I do. By rights, they should be charging Michael Landon like four hundred dollars.
Larry Hubbard: Yeah, but they don't charge you by how much hair you've got. They're paid to make it look good with what you've got.
Warren Evans: Well, I don't even know if they've done *that*.



Warren Evans: Ever think of getting a dog?
Larry Hubbard: A dog!
Warren Evans: Dogs are great. They leap all over you. They lick your face. They don't even have to like you. It's their instinct. Hitler had a dog. That dog went crazy over him.
Larry Hubbard: ADOLF Hitler?
Warren Evans: Yeah.


Essentially, I think I just quoted the entire movie.
Also the one about I had to brush my hair with my toothbrush and it took about 20 minutes.
I was just thinkking that it looks good.
Yeah.




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"If a guys got a lot of hair, he's not gonna swoop it over".

Here's to those who wish me well...

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"Not dying is something to live for."

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not a line, but walkin into the restaraunt whe he says hes alone and everyone goes silent and starts watching him

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