a few statistics

I went on Josh Brolin's board for something else entirely, then saw all that relating to this movie's topic due to his abuse of wife Diane Lane last year, and wrote some things on it there, along with my originally intended writing, but then decided to come here to write this, because I know this is the ultimate domestic abuse movie. I remember when it came on NBC on Monday night, October 8, 1984 (I was 16 and in 11th grade), and though I didn't see it (watched the San Francisco-New York Giants MNF game on ABC instead), I remember the huge hype it got, its top ratings, the talk about it afterwards, and Farrah Fawcett on the cover of People as her character (and seeing her like that really upset me!). My sister and mother did see it, and later my sister said Mick Hughs had the worst temper she'd ever seen (I knew who he was, and didn't doubt it). But since the mid 1990s I have been interested in this, ordered some fact papers on it from the abused women's shelter here in 2001, then again last year, and in 2001 sent them a donation. I also buy the domestic violence stamps now (along with the breast cancer stamps), because a percentage of their purchase goes to this cause, and I read parts of a book in the late 1990s that said about 50% of women in this country will be victims of this from their male companion at some point in their lives. Then in an article in Redbook Magazine in late 2000 on divorce in this country thousands of women were asked which of the following things would cause them to file for divorce, and physically abusing her was first, at 85% (and if he physically abused the children was also at 85%). This certainly did not suprise me, but at number two and 76% was if he had more than one affair, and third place and 65% was if he had one affair. That did suprise me somewhat, as I didn't think it would be that high, and I also found it somewhat upsetting. If he had a substance abuse problem was at 52%, and futher down the list were if he did not help with housework, with childcare, was not financially supportive, and I think last at under 10% was if he was bad sexually. The headline of this article was, "most of you will put up with bad sex, but not physical abuse". As I stated on Josh Brolin board on "he's no goonie", I would never do this to any woman I was with. In fact I would really only be likely to do one of the things on this list, but it is the third one, at 76%, so that is why I found that, and the related 65% one upsetting. I have not been able to get a female relationship, though I've been trying recently (don't know why exactly), but really need one, or more now, and feel I will soon with internet dating now availiable to me, but if I lose a relationship like this it is only because I have another one, not because I'd do this. Now, that is not why I am opposed to this, it is simply because it is wrong and should not be done. And I do fully support what Mrs. Hughs did in this movie (I've never seen it, but would like to know what happened with her afterwards). I've also met a few women here in recent years who had abusive husbands (none were still together), and I sympathized with them, and were glad they were able to move on. But I know, from a male standpoint, that probably over half the men in this country are guilty of infidelity, so that is why I find it difficult to think that many women would end their marriages over that, when divorce does not seem to be that high. About the other 85% one, I definitely don't want any children, simply because I don't want that huge responsibility (though if I did I would never do this to them either), but I do plan to continue to buy these stamps and give occasional donations to these shelters, and continue to be opposed to this, and never do it myself, but I know I will be very likely to be unfaithful in a relationship, and I do wonder just how many Americam men are.

"I happen to be a vegetarian". Lex, from Jurrasic Park