1- Don't Get High on your own Supply
2- if you're Chi Chi...don't expect Tony to open the door as your Mansion Fortress is over-run by a hundred rat-faced competitors with guns blazing...
3- Mel was No Cop
4- No matter how close your relationship with Tony...Don't Mess with his Sister
5- A real Gentleman doesn't take Gina into the toilet stall to Ball Her...
6. After you kill your rival and the cop on his payroll, it's common to offer your dead rival's bodyguard a job.
7. When taking your drug money to the bank for laundering, go right in the front door in open view. Don't lay low or anything.
8...Upon being shot a second time...and sitting in a chair, one can die with his foot up on the table, and regour mortise sets in so fast your leg stays there
9...if you leave your best bud to act as a backup during a drug deal...make sure he doesn't get distracted by a pretty girl in a two piece...otherwise your other buddy goes to pieces...
What I learned #14
If you do enough blow to kill a herd of elephants, you can take 20+ bullets and still talk s#it and stand.
#15: Never try to f/k Sosa;
Why can't you wretched prey creatures understand that the Universe doesn't owe you anything!?
#16: Never tell your boss in 2016 that all you have is your balls and your name and you do not break them for anyone.
#17: When you know you're outnumbered and going down, take a mountain of coke and go out with your little friend in a blaze of glory.
consequences-schmonsequences as long as I'm rich.🐇share
#18: If your sister is of age, let her date anybody she wants
Shall we play a game?
1. Frank f___ed up.
2. Mel f___ed up too.
3. The Diaz brothers were cockroaches.
1. If your daughter disappears, even though you know where she is, immediately go to your criminal son and give him the address. He'll bring her home safe every time!
2. You can't keep a man like Tony Montana down.
3. You gotta get some fun outta life.
4. If you want to make an easy $10 million just threaten a jewish coke dealer.
5. If a Columbian lady is evil looking she probably is.
6. Never suggest to a Columbian to try sticking their head up their A-- to see if it fits.
7. If the drug dealer you work for makes a scene in a restaurant, just slip the Maitre De $20.
8. Tony Montana never F-ed anybody over in his life who didn't have it coming to them.
9. Nixon and RFK were personal friends of Frank Lopez.
10. Tony likes kids: boys, girls, whatever.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of Hollywood... (;-p)
1. There's nothing like a hot espresso after a grueling ten hour outdoor shift on a balmy Miami night.
2. Internment camps for Cuban refugees are just off the highway.
3. Frank Lopez is a frustrated National Baseball coach.
4. I wouldn't want to be stuck in an elevator with Elvira.
5. Mel Bernstein was too cheap to take his wife to London from his legitimate salary.
6. Lunching drug dealers will dip their hands in cups of water between courses.
7. Tony's mother could have at least bought Gina a new dress with the money Tony offered her.
8. A Jewish mother would have taken the money Tony offered her and ask questions on how he earned it, after she spent it.
9. Manolo tries to picks up women on the street with witty tongue-twisters.
10. When you want to whack an enemy who doesn't even have a body guard, always do
by so by hiring to thugs to make the hit in a crowded disco from thirty feet away with at least a hundred innocent bystanders in view.
11. Elvira is a pretty atrocious dancer.
12. The filmmakers are terribly prejudiced against subtitles.
13. The Sun Ray motel will never put the Fountainbleau out of business.
14. The guests at the Sun Ray are very tolerant of chainsaws going off in the middle of the day.
15. Elvira doesn't mind being kept by a drug dealer and snorting his product, but she has a terrible problem with the foul language he uses.
16. Never onderestimate.....de udder guy's greed!!!!!!!!!
19?.
"A Haza is a Pig that don't Fly Straight."
But I have to admit I liked to see ANY Pig Fly Period.
#20 Never go to your life long best friends house. When Tony pulls up and goes inside and finds his sister, he had no clue whose house it was even though it was his best friend and partners house. Apparently the party is always at Tony's house
share25. Close the shop, mang!!
26. Choot dat piece-a chit!!
I don't love her.. She kicked me in the face!!
1. Always tell the truth...even when you are lying.
2. Gangsters' molls never smile.
3. When tying someone up ready to chainsaw him, always cut off his arm first so that he falls on the floor.
1. Rabbit sex is very fast
2. SMGs don't even slow you down, but shotguns are a death sentence
3. Cuban gangsters can't tell the difference between flamingos and pelicans.
4. When you're paranoid whacko enough, police don't try to get you when you've shot one of theirs.
The restitution of life is no great feat. A variety of deaths may well enter into your punishment
1) vast quantities of cocaine provide immunity to multiple bullet wounds.
2) if you encounter an immigrant Cuban dishwasher don’t call him a dishwasher.
3) if you work for a ruthless drug lord and you screw up a job just tell him you’ll do it next month.
4) if you have a polluted womb you can’t have a little baby.
1. Don't let success go to your head.
2. Get your money and get out before you get in too deep.
3. The world is yours, but if you acquire it by shady means don't be surprised if it comes and bites you in the ass.
4. Being cocky only gets you so far.
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The eyes, chico....they never lie
The booze and concha tell frank what to do
- If you think you might need some coke later, keep about a 10-year supply openly on your desk.
- When in doubt, say "Cono!"
When your business partner asks you to help his Spanish-only speaking employee, speak to him 95% of the time in English.
When you're doing an assassination attempt, don't worry about displaying several open containers of Budweiser beer cans all over the dash board. It was the 80's and alcohol laws were less stern back then. The cops won't notice anyways.
It's OK to kill drug dealers, cops, politicians, your best friend and Jr. business partner, mock your wife for being barren, lust after your own sister and constantly cock block her, and smuggle illegal narcotics into America, but killing kids is where one must draw the line!
After you kill someone for trying to kill two kids and a mother, after he's dead, you can still lecture him for what he did for 30 seconds. It might make you feel superior.
Ernie was a good employee!
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