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Does this movie make anyone else physically ill? (A RANT)

posted 8 years ago by Jayson_Orleans-Perez
1 reply | jump to latest

This movie makes me legit physically ill. I have never seen the un-MSTied version, and when I watch it, even with Joel & The Bots' amazing riffing, the movie still leaves me vomiting, and not wanting to eat as long as I am reminded of it. I don't know what it is.

I sincerely believe it's the ineptitude in it all.

First of all, the beginning space scene kinda makes me grossed out. What the hell is going on? You see a meteor going towards the moon. Then you see a yellow light. Then there's just a shot of Earth and Luna with from the perspective of a blue planet (?) that's somewhere near us (?!!?). I've learned in school that neither Venus nor Mars are blue, or have a blue tinge to them, even when viewed from behind. I guess whomsoever did the storyboards for this movie didn't know much about space, or just figured that Neptune was a hop, jump, and a skip away from Earth.

That grossed me out. Not because there was anything disgusting about it, but it kind of did make me nauseous because I couldn't make heads or tails of what was HAPPENING! Joel and the Bots took this in stride and laughed with and made fun of the Casio soundtrack. They have a better sense of humor than I do, because I would have been too busy having an upset stomach.

The other thing that makes me physically ill is Trumpy and the atmosphere itself. The atmosphere with the cottage nestled in the deep woods is amazing. I'm shocked they could do that. They couldn't do it without ineptitude, however, as there are numerous shots that are day for night, or with the sun peeking through the trees, creating a crescendo of dazzling light. Would it have been too hard for them to film on an overcast day?

Trumpy, was also very weird. He made me ill. Then the little kid slept in the BED WITH HIM!! Creepy! Unlike E.T., Trumpy was a liar and a killer. There is a thread on here that shows that he lied to the kid because the alien that killed the one whore girl didn't have an arrow sticking out of his chest. Trumpy did it. Then he came back into Tommy's room and LIED straight to Tommy's face!! Tommy should have took him out when he was an egg. Also, unlike E.T., who I despised as well, Trumpy had no plan on trying to get off the planet or reconnect with his own people. He was just there to kill people.

WHY WAS THIS MOVIE MADE!?!?!?!

Knock it off, Hudson.

[–] carguychris 8 years ago

If you're interested in the movie un-MSTied, it's available in the Mill Creek Entertainment "Sci-Fi Invasion" 50-movie box set. The print is crap, but the box set typically sells for under $20, so at least you won't pay much for it. (I actually bought it together with "Sci-Fi Classics" for $19.99 at Target a couple of years, almost an unbeatable deal at only a trifle more than $0.20/movie.)

Yes, the movie is nauseating, although I DID manage to get through it in one viewing. I think it's main problem is the unlikable and dumb characters; every single character in the film is stupid, while their other attributes range from greedy and malicious (the poachers), deceitful and weird (Tommy), shallow and whiny (Rick and his entourage), rude and selfish (Tommy's family), to homicidal (the aliens).

The movie got made because European studios in the 1980s had figured out how to make money churning out garbage like this. Video rentals hadn't put small strip-center movie theaters and drive-ins* out of business yet, but these theaters were struggling and couldn't afford to play a lot of big-$$$ Hollywood fare, so the solution was a rotating menu of low-budget schlock like this, often running on the 2nd and/or 3rd screen while the Hollywood feature was on Screen 1, the only one with 2 aisles and a nice sound system. (Theaters with only 2-3 screens seem so quaint today.) The key was an appealing or at least attention-grabbing concept, along with no screenings for critics before the opening weekend. The movie would get butts into the seats, and while it would only make money for one weekend, it would keep the doors open... until the 1990s when Blockbuster Video and fancy 10+ screen multiplexes finally drove a stake through the heart of most of these operations, and their squeaky burnt-orange seats and sticky floors became a thing of the past.

(*This was before drive-ins acquired an aura of vintage hipster cool and were instead known mostly for weeds, peeling paint, bad sound, and drunk patrons driving clapped-out Olds Omegas.)