1 It is best to build complex machines from video-game arcade parts
2 Steve Martin couldn't *beep* a gorilla
3 A few minutes in the oven is enough to cook a brains nines
4 Kathleen Turner has balls. Really
5 The best thing to do with Scum Queens is throw them into pools of mud
6. Merv Griffin *loves* to kill people. Just really enjoys it.
7. The genius of John Lillison, England's greatest one armed poet.
8. Austria has very tough drunk driving field tests.
9. No Austrian household is complete without a battering ram.
10. Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr's brilliant research in brain transplantation is unsurpassed, and will probably make his name live beyond eternity.
10. Strike "probably."
share11. That three years of nursery school makes you think you know it all.
share12. Steve Martin's erection is hard enough to break ordinary doors glass.
13. Kathleen Turner charges an extortionate amount to touch her behind.
14. Hotel lifts don't like Steve Martin much.
15. Climbing on walls requires a lot of saliva.
16. If you're dead and want to give the living a sign, make sure it's clear enough.
--
'Touch a button. Things happen. A scientist becomes a beast'
- The Beast of Yucca Flats
Clive thought since it was Valentine's day, they should make a heart.
share18. SOMEBODY has to play God.
I disagree with you, but I'm pretty sure you're not Hitler.
- Jon Stewart
19. Merv Griffin did not turn himself in and is still at large. If you have any idea as to his whereabouts, call your local theater manager.
share20. Being married to Kathleen Turner and not getting to screw her for weeks will make you piss in a hospital sink.
share21. Be VERY careful with Krazy Glue
22. Cats are frequently found in hospital operating rooms.
23. Good looking women may consider allowing strange men to touch their buttocks to be a career.
24. Necessiter's lab is layed out a bit like a pinball machine.
25. He put the a$$holes (er, azaleas) there on the porch just for her.
26. He's quite satisfied in the thumb-sucking dept.
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27. Six weeks of not making love to your wife will make you tense.
28. Citizens Divorce is legal in Austria.
29. Being a successful neurosurgeon will compel Dolly Parton to want to have your baby.
30. You can make a condo look like a castle with a few throw pillows, some wallpaper, and a staple gun.
31. You don't need the "bzzz" thing to keep disembodied brains alive.
32. Austrian video games accept American coins.
33. Flaming drinks are for tourists.
34. Fame can interfere with your effectiveness of being a serial killer.
35. In the 14th Century, craftsmen in India made vases out of rubber.
36. Dum-dum bullets are illegal, but, then again, so is killing your husband.
37. Post-op mental illness can be remedied by screwing the top of your skull on tighter.
38. The brain cavity of a human being can hold three lemons.
39. Subdural and epidural hemotomas are very different things.
40. It's easy to find hot prostitutes in Vienna.
39a. That makes Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr mad.
share41. Chicks with really annoying voices will be down for anything sexually.
share43. Sometimes the Mexican help can be mistaken for... azaleas.
44. Sometimes little girl bystanders who witness an accident can really piss off a brain surgeon.
45. Hfuhruhurr is spelt just the way it sounds.
46. Drain cleaner kills the body but preserves the brain.
47. Three year olds can act better, and read more lines than Sylvester Stallone (who played Rambo in 1982, the year before TMWTB).
48. When you fall out of a building three stories up, you usually end up in a swimming pool.
49. Some people have no SOH. IMDB rating of 6.0! You have got to be kidding.
50. This movie was just a warm up for Steve Martin in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (Oklahoma!)
51. You can always borrow a battering ram if you promise to return it
52. Life imitates art.... Kathleen Turner did turn out huge she gained a lot of weight
,53 this one's important!..GET THAT CAT OTTA HERE!!!
54. The cranial screw-top method is an accepted surgical technique in the world of Brain Surgery.
share55. If the murder of 12 innocent people can save 1 life, it will have worth it.
56. The only time doctors should condone murder is when it's because of their own incompetence.
57. Dr. Neccesitars walls are paper thin.