man, this is one of few boards that doesn't have a lot of haters! lol
my fave line has gotta be "i couldn't fu ck a gorilla!?"
another fave scene is when he gets pulled over and they make him do all those difficult drunk tests....."ok, u can stop the subtitles now!" HAHA
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This film is an absolute gem.
One scene that makes me weep with laughter is near the start:
"Doctor, I know you were very shaken by the tragic death of your wife"
"I couldn't talk about it for a long while, but time passes, and I can handle it now. Her name was Rebec..why?! why?! why?! why?! why?!"
its not necessariy a line but that whole scene when she's about to have sex with Dr. Hfuhruhurr and he has that boner. that is seriously one of the best boner jokes I've ever seen on film.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYs_qCGWHJ8 A tribute to John I made
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From the newspaper clipping:
"Dolly Pardon wants to have my baby!"
"I almost peed in the scrub sink." (something like that)
"Not only is he dead, he's 6,000 miles away!"
"She just doesn't have enough.... vavoom."
(looks at him like he's a complete idiot) "But sir, she's dead!"
"Damn your drunk tests are hard!"
"Waiiiit a minute... she's not drunk, she's dead!"
"Dead?!?? Oh my god, i better get her to a cemetery right away!!" (steps on it)
"The operation seems to be a success! ... but the doctor died."
In the course of my 33yrs I personaly have performed about half a dozen "citizen divorce's". Up to and including all neccessary hand circles/forward step and dual pointing.......unfortunatly this is not recognized by any state that I am privy too.
share"Get that cat outta here!"
(to barbie doll "Rebecca") "Why didn't you give me a sign?"
but the best scene (as mentioned before by ronnieronb73) is him giving the little girl directions about contacting the hospital! "But I thought..." "You thought, you thought..."
That's why the black & white episodes of "I Dream of Jeannie" and "Bewitched" were sexy, baby!
"That is the best sex I"ve ever had...without actually having it...that I ever...almost had."
shareIt's been awhile since I've seen this but there was a part that cracks me up. He's lonely and wants to remarry, so he stands in front of this huge portrait of his late wife and says "Rebecca, if you have any objections, give me a sign." and the picture starts shaking violently, and he goes "Any sign at all." and the portrait shakes and falls right off the wall and you can hear his wife's voice pleading "NO! NO! NO!" and he ignores it and says something like "Well, I guess you don't object. And for the time being I'll just store you in the closet." and he throws the picture in a closet.
shareI hope I get these right...going from memory...
"When a women who's just had major brain surgery tells you she's got a headache, you've got to believe her!"
In the operating room, commenting on the 'artwork' by the interns.
"I suppose if it was Christmas you'd hang an ornament on it."
And also...
"I never want to see that again!"
And when he comes over to Necessitar's castle without his wife...
"My wife is a cheap, vulgar s _ _t!"
Bulter "Yah, I've heard this."
Hope those are right!
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"Forseps......(screech of cat).."get that cat outta here"!!!
Brilliant!!!!!
Were you on the lake today kissing your brain?
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Shut up, stop talking, cease and desist, there's a good girl
Haha! This movie is so great! It's already been mentioned, but my favourite part is by far when he has the huge spat with his wife and she yells out, "My balls!" when he hits her. And when she went on that nonsensical racist tirade against him I almost wet myself!
I also love the part when they're in the lab and he goes, "You just keep her in this jar like so much marmalade!" Haha. Love it all.
I get the feeling you're violating somebody's basic human rights here...
YAH! I HAF HEARD ZIS
I have used that line a thousand times. Pity that most of the times i have used it, I laughed ... and noone else did.
LOL Monikawithak!!!
That's a great line from the movie....and if I heard you say it, I would know what you were talking about.
(unlike those other "un-fun" people who don't laugh when you say it!!!)
Some people just don't get it...
I watched this one the other night and laughed HARD. I love the line that Anne says "I bet there's not a girl floating in any jar anywhere that's as happy as I am" or something like that. This is one of my absolute favorite movies of all time. Consistently hilarious.
"Hey, I should be mad at YOU . . . now turn around."-Bender/Futurama
My all-time favorite line from this movie is when he pushes Kathleen Turner into the muck saying "Into the mud scum queen!"
share"Get that cat out of here"
"He was the first person to ever be hit by a car"
And the whole thing with the young girl after the accident
I think the whole scene with the girl repeating back all the names and numbers is a scream. But my favorite line-
Dr. Brandon- Six weeks and you haven't even made love to your wife yet? No wonder you're tense.
Dr. Hfufrufurr- Dr. Brandon! The woman has just had major brain surgery! She's had ENOUGH unpleasantness!
I'm watching a taped TV version so I have just been finding out what some of the bleeped words were here.)