Worst movie ever made in HISTORY
SPOILERS BELOW, BUT DONT WORRY, ITS SUCH A BAD FILM THEY WILL SAVE YOU FROM MAKING THE MISTAKE OF WATCHING IT.
This is, without doubt, the runaway winner of the title:
Worst movie ever made in HISTORY.
(Btw, e=a sometimes in the following, you'll get it).
I mean, its Ed Wood bad. Its Plan 9 From Outer Space with junkies, fashion wenkers and a cute little UFO thrown in.
I sat through this 2 hours of some of the most pretentious crep I have ever experienced, and I have SEEN Stellarc live! I am a huuuge fan of slow film making, directors like Wim Wenders and David Lynch (on a good day) and David Cronenberg (on a VERY good, Naked Lunch / Existenz type day), can hold my attention - because they have Talent.
But I couldn't stop watching - anymore than anyone can stop watching Plan 9 once they've started. The trainwreck is just too fascinating.
No, surely they are not going to try and tell us they are serious....they couldn't......oh no, they are.......
This is a laughable example of the cocaine-induced mistakes seen at the end of the 70's and the start of the 80's.
I thought my head was going to explode from one more morsel of:
* Apalling acting
* Pointless dialogue
* ONE MORE piece of "Sincere" "Performance" "Art"
* Swearing for the sake of it and not even in a funny Lock Stock & 2 Smoking Barrels / Big Lebowski kind of way
* "Gimme some coke" "Gimme some smack"
* THAT MUSIC !!!! WHO WAS THE IDIOT WHO CREATED THAT GOD-AWWWWWWFUL SOUNDTRACK !!!???
I'll give it 2 points (out of 10000000000) for 2 things only:
* Some of the panning shots of New York, NYUSA, in 1982 were actually kinda nice to see. A lot less buildings I suspect (except for 2 of course).
* The final, final scene, partly becaus it IS the final seen and the viewer is finally released from their torture, but also because the scene of her caught in the 'beam' of the saucer is actually cool - the only cool bit of action in the entire film!
As such a shockingly awful piece of film-wasting, I guess it (possibly) deserves a place in history.
Like Ed Wood's films.
Anyway - don't watch it, you'll regret it. Seriously.