Tyrone: It's the same jug that Abraham Lincoln used. One drink and he freed the slaves. We haven't had a job since.
share
Albert : Give him the gun
Tyrone :I DONT WANT THE GUN I DONT WANT THE GUN I DONT WANT THE GUN!!....Alright mother F^$&#er He He He..
I think that line was the funniest line in the movie. I still laugh everytime I watch that 1 scene. That and the 2 scenes where they're mocking the Mission Impossible theme on their radios.
shareTyrone: "Get outta my cab I'm rich, GET OUTTA MY CAB I'M PHUCKIN RICH!"
Tyrone: "I'm goin' ta *beep* heaven, oh sh!t I don't wanna go ta *beep* heaven!"
CHAU, Diego
Dell: You know Bruce Lee he aint dead. They'e got him cryptonized and frozen and they're gonna melt him down as soon as the economy gets better. (My favorite Gary Busey movie).
Another great line:
Tyrone: My Dad came back from the war so messed up, he thought he was Jesus. Sent him to an institution for five years when he came out, he didn't think he was Jesus anymore, he thought he was God, which made me Jesus. (Ridiculously funny).
The line about his dad thinking he was jesus is one of the all time funniest lines in any movie....LOL.
shareTyrone - "time out fool!! I lost my roller!....now help me find my roller!!" "SUCKER!" (mission impossible tune)
shareMr. Rythum - "don't letyer dick run yer life" and "what can make ya...can also break ya...thats Mr.Rythums...good advice!"
God I love that movie
"You know the worst thing about oral sex? THE VIEW!" -Del (Gary Busey)
I still laugh my butt off everytime I see that part of the movie.
"My family has always been in meat."
When Mr. T chastises the hooker in his cab. He says something to the effect of "Why are you doing this to yourself?", Or something like that, then:
HOOKER: "I NEED the BREAD!"
MR T.: "The why don't you go work at a bakery?!!!"
The way he says the line is hilarious!!
Crossroads Cafe ROCKS!
Andrew: Rosa--your wine--
Rosa: YOU need it more than I do.
Dell "Tell them your Batman"
other line maybe done by the Barbarian Bros.
"There it is Bruce Lee" (Bruce Leigh)
"That says Bruce Leg"
"Where's a cat like you at...a**hole!"
shareYou forgot the best part of the Busey line about Bruce Lee.
He says, "frozen hard as a carp", until the economy gets better. Bill Mahr has referred to this line years after the movie in his talk shows. Did anyone forget he was in the movie? He had a lot of great lines in dead pan.
"There it is! Bruce Lee!" (spelled Leigh)
"That says Bruce Leg!"
"I told you fools to stay in school!"
AGREED AS THE BEST LINE IN THE MOVIE!!!
share[deleted]
Tyrone: white bread chickensh*t Hockenberry!!
share"Why are Women so upset ? (ret)
They get half the money & all the P***y." lol
(Dell)
Tyrone: Where to?
Angel of Death: I am the Angel of Death. Take me to hell.
Tyrone: Got any luggage?
Geez... Let me see... Top 10 favorites (in no particular order):
10. Del (Gary Busey): Never better! Just doing some intestinal yoga! (what's intestinal yoga?!?! damn funny!)
9. Tyrone: My father came back from the Korean War with his brains so scrambled, he thought he was Jesus! They put him in a nuthouse for five years and when he came out, he didn't think he was Jesus no more... He thought he was God...! Which made me Jesus...
8. Del(Gary Busey): Tell him you're Batman!
7. Samson (Mr. T): Look at the mailbox it's Bruce Lee!
Buddy (Peter or Paul Barbarian): But that says Bruce Leg... (trying to read "Bruce Leigh")
Samsom (Mr. T): I tole you to stay in school!
6. Tyrone (Charlie Barnett): Oh s*beep*t Oh s*beep*t It is Bruce Lee! It is Bruce Lee! Albert was right! It is Bruce Lee! I found that karate mother f*beep*r (pardon my French on this ^_^)
5. Del: (Gary Busey): HEAL THIS WOMAN! HEAL THIS WOMAN! HEEEL-OH! HEEEAW-OWWLL!
4. Del: (Gary Busey): Myrna... (knocking teasingly & naughtily on the window pane) It's Del... I know a little motel down at Spartanburg... How about you and me, the ten grand, a case of Cuervo Gold and my lucky rubber...?
3. Xavier (Paul Rodriguez): That's why I became a gigolo baby!
Albert (Adam Baldwin): A gigolo?
Xavier (Paul Rodriguez): Yeah! You know? Richard Hutton? Lauren Gere? Roaming in designer sheets? The American Gigolo!
2. FBI Chief: Did Albert ever discuss his political convictions with you?
Del (Gary Busey): Albert don't have no political convictions. He's an American!
1. Dell(Gary Busey): Hey you know Bruce Lee - he ain't dead. They have him "kryptonized" down in Chatsworth, he's jammed in a silo, and he's frozen hard as a carbon, and they're gonna melt him down as soon as the economy gets better. (sounds weird but sublimely funny)...
We always loved " I know a hotel in Spartanburg" because thats where we are from. I wonder if anyone knows how they came up with Spartanburg?
shareMy personal favorite?
Tyrone: "Oh s***! Albert was right! IT IS BRUCE LEE! IT IS BRUCE LEE! Albert was right! I found that karate *beep*
It gets funnier every time I hear it!
[deleted]
One of thew twins into a reporters mic: "ALBERT DIDN'T DO SH*T!!!!"
HAROLD: "You know what your problem is Bravo? You're so short that you're brain is just too close to your a**hole."
DELL: "Wisconsin. That's the cheese state, isn't it?"
SAMSON: "Where a cat like you at?"
BRAVO: "If you had any education you would know that you don't end a sentence with a preposition."
TYRONE: "So then where you at, a**hole?"
Tyrone: "How you doing, Mattie?"
Mattie: "All they keep doing is showing me the photos they developed from the nun's camera."
Dell: "Hey! I ran over a nun once!"
Tyrone is dressed up like Uncle Sam and Dell walks up to him:
Dell: "Hey! Who are you supposed to be? Uncle Sambo?"
(The last one is a little bit on the harsh side, but it's still funny!)
DELL: "Wisconsin. That's the cheese state, isn't it?"
Just asking, where in the film did Gary Busey (Dell) said this? I obviously missed it...
Just a follow-up
Paul Rodrigues (Javier/Xavier): Liebowitz, Lempkin & Lopez! Just as I suspected! Look at this food! (grabs a sandwich meant for Maile - the African American maid - and then slams in down) It isn't fit for Caucasians! And these sheets! Are they changed everyday - and I don't mean from room to room! And you nurse isn't there some life-supporting-system you could be unplugging right now! (then he turns to the bewildered FBI agent) LET ME TELL YOU MISTER F-B-I.....! This is the the kind of scandal the news media loves! GET ME MY COUSIN GERALDO RIVERA ON THE LINE!
I think you are all overlooking the best line in DC Cab, which is when the guy sticks his head out of the van and yells, "JESUS *beep* CHRIST!!!!"
That was totally awesome.
And remember when Mr. T gets chop blocked by one of the Barbarian Brothers when they all burst through the wall? That was the best part. Totally awesome.
Oh yeah! You're right. My mom and I watched this and she was so shocked with the "Jesus f^%$$ing Christ" line. The look on her face was precious!
shareHERE'S ANOTHER ONE!
Del (Gary Busey): IF I WANTED RESPONSIBILITY, I'D BEEN A GODDAMNED SEX SURROGATE!!!
Del: i don't work on jan 8, 'cause it's elvis' birthday.
shareTo this day I always remeber this movie, and I was very young the first time I saw it. But some of the funniest lines that I still remember are on this post, but the one that I always remember is not mentioned, so here it is:
Tyrone: "I knew the train was on the other track all the time......."
Still laughing after all these years....
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you-do or do not there is no try.
Oh, you guys are missing the best line: If the Budweiser Clydesdales driven by Ed McMahon came down Pennsylvania Avenue to bring me a beer, I WOULDN'T DRINK IT.
Oh and I love when Paul Rodreguez says "It's tough to be a man, baby!"
OMG, this is THE funniest movie. Just so many lines that are classic. I was thinking about it the other day and just had to watch it again last night.
Libby