MovieChat Forums > Making Love (1982) Discussion > Helped me realize that I was not the onl...

Helped me realize that I was not the only one....

posted 15 years ago by all4u1013
6 replies | jump to latest

This movie helped me realize that I was not the ONLY man( 15 year old teenager )feeling like I was a " freak" just because of my being atttracted to other men. I did not know anything about homosexuality, I literally thought I was the ONLY person who had these feelings..feelings for other men.
After watching this movie it helped me realize that there was a whole other "world " out there for homosexuals, men liking/being in love with other men, and the same for women being attracted to other women.
I attended a Catholic school for 7 years and obviously they did not speak about people being homosexuals or anything about women being lesbians, and I don't think, at the time, that the Catholic church had such problems like priests having sex with under-age students.
This movie came out at the beginning of a crucial time in the world as the advent of AIDS was becoming an epidemic, and for this I do agree it was /is a groundbreaking movie.
To my knowledge, 3 years after this movie was the very first movie made about AIDS, it was called " An Early Frost".
After watching Making Love, my whole life had a new perspective. I knew that I was not a freak, I was just gay. I had feelings for other men for as long as I can remember and of course being Catholic I tried to supress my feelings, but when I turned 18, after I graduated high school, I started to act on those feelings.
My first time in a gay bar, was the first time in my life I felt like I had nothing to hide, I felt free, I felt I was at " home ". All of this because of this movie. It gave me a big ole shove closer to getting out of the closet.

I am sorry if I offended anyone with this post, it was not my intention. My intention was to tell my story of how this movie helped me realize that I was not alone in being gay.
Happy Holidays to you all!!!
PEACE !!!
Ricky :)

[–] 15 years ago

[deleted]

[–] preppy-3 15 years ago

I saw this as a closeted guy at 20 and it saved me from suicide! I thought I was mentally ill (thanks to the Catholic church) and was ashamed at my feelings. After this movie I realized there was nothing wrong with me and I could have a loving relationship with a man. Hell, I saw it TWICE in the theatre! I was lucky enough to see it in Boston (a very liberal city) and nobody walked out of the theatre when the guys kissed. In fact there was applause at the end of the movie!
So--your story was not offensive or silly to me. I went through it too. I'd love to know how many other gay guys this movie "saved".

[–] Renshaw2 15 years ago

Thanks to both the third and first posters. I, too, saw this and it changed my life. It gave me the courage to begin the process of self-acceptance. I'm watching the film today simply because of the nostalgia of it. And, frankly, because I still like it and find Michael Ontkean very attractive.

[–] preppy-3 15 years ago

Hmmmmmm--interesting. Harry Hamlin did it for me in this movie. Seeing such a rugged guy kissing another guy was so HOT:)

[–] jaysea2 13 years ago

Ricky...your post was just great! I'm a straight lady who fell in love with a "closeted" gay man years ago. I had NO idea. He hadn't come out yet. And I never thought anything was wrong. He treated me so well...as he did everyone in his life. I felt lucky to have him in mine. We were from different cities and I didn't know his background. He was a really great person. But...he was living a lie. This was back in a time where I know he must have felt like a "freak" like you mentioned. There was something missing from his life and he was so afraid of talking about it openly. He must have felt the same way you described. He mentioned that he wasn't happy...and it wasn't me. Well...you know how that goes. "It's me...not you". But he was such a sweetheart that I never felt like I was being dumped. He even went to my father and told him that he'd never love another woman the way he loved me. I think this was his way of saying good-bye. Then he moved to SF and ended up being very happy. He was in a place where he felt accepted and wanted and loved. He felt like he was "home". He never did come out to me. I'm sorry he didn't. I'm sorry that he was afraid to. His parents (who were from a small town) disowned him when he finally came out. They missed out on a really great son. He was 23 at the time. But he was happy in the life he chose. Sadly, he was killed in an accident 10 years later. When I found out, I tried to find his family. His parents had divorced and I had no idea how to reach them. This was before computers. But I found his younger brother and we had the nicest visit. He was so little when we dated but he had pictures of me and said that his brother spoke very well of me. I'm very thankful for our visit and his kind words. I'm just sorry that we had lost touch. I still think of my friend and wonder if we'd be friends now...if he was still with us.

I hope you're happy. I'm very supportive of the gay community because of my old friend. When I was told that he was gay, I felt happy for him. Then when I saw this movie (on cable) I cried at the end. It reminded me of my friend. We never married and, like I stated, he never came out to me. We parted like friends and I never even cried. It was like I knew that our relationship just wasn't "right". And the movie really touched me. I'm glad it helped you...and hopefully anyone who might have been confused or afraid. I don't know how you feel...I'm straight. But I sure do support you.

I hope you are well and happy! Take care...

[–] BoxOfficePoison 9 years ago

My wife and I happened to catch this movie on TV last night, and were impressed with how progressive it seemed for its time. I came to this board to get a sense of how well it's held up for gay people today.

I realize this is an older thread, but all of your stories brought me to tears. (I'm straight myself, but I'm a long-time atheist and just recently defected from the Catholic Church.)

Note to the OP: Just for the record, there have been cases for decades, at least, of priests raping children -- only the publicity about it is recent. Not part of my own experience, but that of all too many people for all too many years.

Anyway, I hope everyone here is happy and well. AND CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE HAPPY COUPLES TODAY!

"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."
"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die."